Toon Chris Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 Just as a bit of fun, what comedy one-liner still makes you laugh every time you remember it? I'll start of with one that's a little obscure: Kath and Kim (aussie sitcom). Kath Day's fiancee Kel Knight proposes to her with the classically unromantic line of 'Let me turn your Day into Knight'. Still makes me chuckle now Quote
Juggalo Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 ...You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... A HERRING! Quote
Toon Chris Posted October 28, 2015 Author Posted October 28, 2015 ...You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... A HERRING! Haha, yes classic enough that we all know exactly what film that is from Quote
yankeesiter Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 "Well I like my cigar but I take it out every now and again" in answer to a couple with 4 kids on a live Groucho Marx tv show in 1960's America. Quote
JetSet Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 Not a one liner, but in this weeks Doc Martin he had a patient called Alice Cooper. Pete Quote
Ekona Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 Not a one liner, but... *smack* Urghhh... *smack* Urghhh... *smack* Urghhh... *smack* Urghhh... *smack* Urghhh... etc. 1 Quote
brillomaster Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 (edited) sheesh, I have no idea what any of you are talking about!?! edit - just got Dans one. though i'd say 'thwack' was more appropriate, but there must be literally hundreds of great comedy one liners in The Simpsons. Edited October 28, 2015 by brillomaster Quote
Sam Mcgoo Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 (edited) Police man from 'allo' allo "good moaning. I was pi**ing by the door when I heard a gun sh*t. " Love trigger's lines in only fools and horses..... Such as having the same broom for over 20 years..." 17 new heads and 14 new handles" Edited October 28, 2015 by Sam Mcgoo 3 Quote
Stutopia Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 Not quite one line and probably not my favourite, but I watched it recently and forgot how fantastic it is. "You can start by wiping that ****ing dumb-ass smile off your rosey, ****ing, cheeks! And you can give me a ****ing automobile: a ****ing Datsun, a ****ing Toyota, a ****ing Mustang, a ****ing Buick! Four ****ing wheels and a seat! Car Rental Agent: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me. And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of ****ing nowhere with ****ing keys to a ****ing car that isn't ****ing there. And I really didn't care to ****ing walk, down a ****ing highway, and across a ****ing runway to get back here to have you smile in my ****ing face. I want a ****ing car RIGHT ****ING NOW!" 2 Quote
GMballistic Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 "Back of the net!" "Smell my cheese!" "It's alright, I'm not retreating, Pat's tugging me off" "Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan!, Dan!, ....Dan, Dan, Dan, DAN, DAN!, DAN!!, DAN!!, ....uh oh he's not seen me I'll get him later, ....DAAANNN!" 2 Quote
Ekona Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 "Back of the net!" "Smell my cheese!" "It's alright, I'm not retreating, Pat's tugging me off" "Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan!, Dan!, ....Dan, Dan, Dan, DAN, DAN!, DAN!!, DAN!!, ....uh oh he's not seen me I'll get him later, ....DAAANNN!" "They're sex people, Lynn!" 1 Quote
ATTAK Z Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 you've got @*!# shoes on you shitty shoed bastard 2 Quote
Ekona Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 "Give me another series, you sh*t!" I miss AP so hard 2 Quote
coldel Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 An episode of Red Dwarf called Queeg where the crew get treated like slaves by the ships computer Holly's replacement Queeg, Holly challenges Queeg and loses so has to get deleted. He disappears from the screens in a sad moment, the crew can't imagine their now future tormented life under Queeg, then Queeg disappears and Holly appears again and says 'We are talking Jape of the century, we are talking April May June and August fool, yes I am Queeg. And the morale of the story is don't take for granted what you got, because basically Im fantastic' 4 Quote
gsexr Posted October 28, 2015 Posted October 28, 2015 (edited) Just luv this but NSFW Edited October 28, 2015 by gsexr 1 Quote
coldel Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 "Whatever you do don't mention the war, I think I might have said it once but think I got away with it" 1 Quote
HaydnH Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 Well seen as everyone above isn't strictly sticking to the 1 liner bit, I love the only fools and horses sketch when they're driving to France: Rodney: What's your favourite French food Del? Delboy: Duck a l'orange, I wish I knew how to order it in French. Rodney: Canard. Delboy: I know, it's really 'ck n 'ard! Rodney: No! Duck, it's Canard in French. Delboy: Oh! Now I just need to know how to say a l'orange in French then. Quote
nixy Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 Gold, Frankenstein and Grrrrr............. 5 Quote
Ekona Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 I sat down and watched that episode on Xmas morning last year whilst waiting for Jo to get ready, she wondered why I was laughing my head off downstairs! Quote
nixy Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 I sat down and watched that episode on Xmas morning last year whilst waiting for Jo to get ready, she wondered why I was laughing my head off downstairs! one of my faves! Quote
Grundy Posted October 29, 2015 Posted October 29, 2015 I sat down and watched that episode on Xmas morning last year whilst waiting for Jo to get ready, she wondered why I was laughing my head off downstairs! one of my faves! WOMBLES!!!! Eddie, would it scar you for life If I told you they were just puppets? 1 Quote
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