This thread brings back bas memories.
One late evening I'm in a queue at Tesco discussing this very topic on the phone with a friend.
I said he should hire a midget who stays in the boot.
When he parks up, said midget jumps out with a stool and sits outside gaurding the car.
You return, give him a tip, he gets his stool and jumps back in the boot.
We were laughing away.
Then I hang up
Turn around.
There in the flesh.
A REAL LIFE MIDGET BEHIND ME IN THE QUEUE LOOKING WELL P!$$ED !
Spent the next month looking over (and below) my shoulder for a midget seeking revenge