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marriage and money - how do you do it


SteveM

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OK so Flex's thread about his car has prompted this a little bit but i have also noticed this with a few of my friends so i thought i would find out how most of you work it....

 

my wife and i are a team, we are married and generally whats mine is hers and whats hers is mine. from day 1 we have had a joint account and both sets of wages gets paid into this. all bills and day to day costs come out of this account as well as holidays, petrol, car tax, insurance... you get the idea.

 

the above said i do think its important that each of us have our OWN money so we have a standing order paid out to each of our own accounts so that we have some spending money for those luxuries that we feel shouldnt come out of the joint account... ie individual hobbies and birthday and xmas prezzies to each other

 

from what i understand more and more people seem to be running seperate accounts with their own wages being paid into their own accounts with only the bills and costs being split equally... Hence Flex saying he was going to ask his wife to buy his car off him...

 

to me this seems an odd way of doing it..... lets say i am paid more than my wife... (i am but not by much these days) my pot for doing stuff and buying things would be a lot larger than hers leading to times when i would go out and buy nice things for myself and she had to save for weeks to get something for herself (a mate of mine and his wife are exactly like this) surely this must lead to arguments and bad feelings?

 

if you do this why? do you not trust your other half with money? do they not trust you? what happens when she asks you to buy something do you then ask her for the cash at a later date?

 

ok i can understand if you are not married but......................

 

or am i behind the times?

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We have our own separate accounts, I have no idea how much she has in her's

 

and I'm sure she has no idea whats in mine. We pay the mortgage out of the mortgae

 

savings account, I pay the household bills, water, gas, electric, telephone broadband,insurance,

 

etc and run the car, she pays the Council Tax and buys the food, I have no idea if one is paying

 

more than the other as its not important, and we split holidays, :thumbs:

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My better half and I just put it all in one pot regardless of wether she or I earn more on any given month, after the bills etc are paid if we want anything as long as we can afford it we just carry on and get it, if not we save together until we have enough for whatever it is either of us is after, we have had this arrangement for about 20 years now and it works for us (we share everything) however some of my friends are completely opposite and what they have is theirs, what their partners have is their partners, each to their own I suppose but I like my current arrangement as it works for me and the Mrs, we don't keep count of who's turn it is for treats etc we just seem to have found a balance and we're happy this way :)

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We have our own separate accounts, I have no idea how much she has in her's

 

and I'm sure she has no idea whats in mine. We pay the mortgage out of the mortgae

 

savings account, I pay the household bills, water, gas, electric, telephone broadband,insurance,

 

etc and run the car, she pays the Council Tax and buys the food, I have no idea if one is paying

 

more than the other as its not important, and we split holidays, :thumbs:

 

 

ok... but why not have a joint account and just split everything then have a small account each for your own little extras? or is that just old fashioned?

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We have two accounts which are both in joint names but one is hers. I work away so she pretty much sorts out the finances. All the bills go out of my account but she has her own money to run her car and buy her clothes etc.

 

She has a credit card linked to my account fr any emergencies. Seems to work well.

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Since we have been living together we have had a joint account which covers all household bills, animal bills and food, mortgage, electricity, sky, phone, food, etc etc We both pay the same amount into the account when we get paid, that way we know that all the house and bills are sorted without any worries. We then have our own money with whats left from our salary.

 

I earn more than her so i tend to pay for extra things that we do from my money, i have also offered to pay for her hobbies but she wont accept it. I know it will all change if/when we have a child/children.

 

When we were getting married i gave her my 2005 Civic Type R so she had a more sensible daily car which can also be suitable if we have a child, she sold her mini and put that money towards the finer detail bits she wanted for the wedding. Generally i do things so that it works in her favour.

 

As for her buying something off me, i don't think that will ever be the case, unless something happens and we split up. We have always had banter about who keeps what animal should anything ever happen, as much as that sounds bad it is banter but its also good to be adults about all possible situations.

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Don't see the need for joint accounting, I "usually" pay for treats/luxuries or a larger portion of a bigger treat (holiday etc). As long as you aren't rubbing it in someones face about how much money you have, I don't see the problem.

 

I earn more so I get to spend more, how is that not fair? :p

 

I'm not married but been together for a long time.

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well we're about to get married, and are just about to get a joint account... my fiancé wants to split share everything, but im not so sure... I am keen to have a joint account for all the shared expenses only (food, holidays, mortgage and bills) but definitely want my own money, as I want to be able to buy things I want without asking permission. also my hobbies (petrol for zed, insurance for zed, trackdays) are a lot more expensive than hers so I don't feel it fair that she pays towards my hobbies, and I shouldn't pay towards hers.

 

I figure as long as I can pay for food and bills and a decent holiday and have some reserve for if the boiler breaks or whatever, the rest is mine to do with what I please - after all, I earnt it, so I can spend it, and that wont change when we're married!

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Although no longer in this situation, when I was married we only had one pot which everything came from.

Worked fine by us, we trusted each other and both had times without work and did not think twice about supporting each other.

We were also fair financially on the split and infact are still friends - some 20 years later.

 

I have friends who have seperate accounts and literally one can afford to go on holiday and does while the other who can't afford to go stays home. They even say in company, I would love to join you but my partner can't afford it !!!! What ? ! Odd to me, but then I have always been in similar salary earnings too.

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We have our own separate accounts, I have no idea how much she has in her's

 

and I'm sure she has no idea whats in mine. We pay the mortgage out of the mortgae

 

savings account, I pay the household bills, water, gas, electric, telephone broadband,insurance,

 

etc and run the car, she pays the Council Tax and buys the food, I have no idea if one is paying

 

more than the other as its not important, and we split holidays, :thumbs:

 

 

ok... but why not have a joint account and just split everything then have a small account each for your own little extras? or is that just old fashioned?

 

No chance..she likes going to Selfridges to often... ;)

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Although no longer in this situation, when I was married we only had one pot which everything came from.

Worked fine by us, we trusted each other and both had times without work and did not think twice about supporting each other.

We were also fair financially on the split and infact are still friends - some 20 years later.

 

I have friends who have seperate accounts and literally one can afford to go on holiday and does while the other who can't afford to go stays home. They even say in company, I would love to join you but my partner can't afford it !!!! What ? ! Odd to me, but then I have always been in similar salary earnings too.

 

What a strange relationship. I could never do something and leave a partner at home.

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We're not married but have a family and have been together 18 years. My missus is an accountant but only works Monday to Thursday, this means she earns less than I do.We have separate accounts and a bills and savings account which we both pay into. Being in accounts you can guess how organised she is, I pay roughly 60% of the bills correlating to the wage differential. This means both of us have a similar amount of disposable income after paying the essentials.Of course she us an excel wizard and we have an extensive spreadsheet of exactly what goes in and out monthly.

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We're not married but have a family and have been together 18 years. My missus is an accountant but only works Monday to Thursday, this means she earns less than I do.We have separate accounts and a bills and savings account which we both pay into. Being in accounts you can guess how organised she is, I pay roughly 60% of the bills correlating to the wage differential. This means both of us have a similar amount of disposable income after paying the essentials.Of course she us an excel wizard and we have an extensive spreadsheet of exactly what goes in and out monthly.

 

This is exactly us (spreadsheet included) lol Although I earn more (so pay more), he gets monthly bonuses so we split those or put towards a holiday.

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Never ever ever ever EVER have a joint account. Ever. Biggest cause of arguments is money.

 

I have my account, she has hers. I pay all the bills, she buys takeaways sometimes. She has some savings, I have zero. I don't get questioned when I buy toys, I don't question her when she buys sh*t from Amazon on a daily basis.

 

 

 

Ten years today, can't be wrong! :D

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I'm not married but we have lived together for some time. I pay all the bills and my mrs contributes towards the council tax and buys the food. We both run our own vehicles and have separate accounts, if we need to club together for something we do.

Works for us!

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Each have our own accounts, we have a bills and mortgage account that all the bills and mortgage come out. We split it right down the middle and pay in equally. We take it in turns to do the food shopping.

 

If we go away we split it, but in an odd way, if its to do with her friends, I drive, she pays for accommodation ad I buy the meals out. If its with my friends, she drives, I buy the accommodation and she buys the food.

 

If its a big holiday we split it down the middle.

 

She buys all presents for her side of the family

 

I buy for my side

 

We choose the kids presents together and split down the middle

 

I wouldn't want full joint account as I'm worried about accidentally spending her money. Once the bills are paid what's left is like my monthly spending money. If you added my Wife's wages, I'd just spend more.

 

I am sensible enough that I set up monthly payments to multiple savings accounts s well, so I am also saving as well.

 

 

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Never ever ever ever EVER have a joint account. Ever. Biggest cause of arguments is money.

 

I have my account, she has hers. I pay all the bills, she buys takeaways sometimes. She has some savings, I have zero. I don't get questioned when I buy toys, I don't question her when she buys sh*t from Amazon on a daily basis.

 

Ten years today, can't be wrong! :D

 

I have no idea of both of your earnings but lets say you earn 50% more than your better half.

 

One year you decide, f*ck it I want to be like Vin Diesel and go to Bora Bora. You can afford your half but as your partner doesn't earn as much, she can't go.

 

Your not exactly going to go on your own are you?! So an argument ensues on who pays for what. If you shared your finances you would know exactly what was in the holiday pot for that year and if you could afford it or not.

 

Everyone's different so I am not saying your wrong but just would like your opinion on the above :)

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if I earn 50% more then I'd pay 50% more.

 

Not a problem its just a case of using a bit of maths.

 

We earn roughly the same, but when my wife was on maternity leave, as her income decreased, what I paid onto the pot increased.

 

Rule in our house is fairness.

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