StevoD Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Hello Zedders, i dont feel comfortable posting about this but dont really have people to talk to these days as some might have seen im facing indefinite redundancy, well i still live at home with parents and sister (she 60-70% blind) me and my old man work at the same firm and both facing it, it not so much the facing it its the fact the companies continuously lies about what's going on so they have a reason to sell the site for what is assumed housing, My mother got a letter about disciplinary today which bless her its not here fault its training and i know her company isnt busy so im worrying is this a way of lowering costs with out redundancy pay, on top of all this my grand mother passed recently and thats taken its toll on the family, i know there are people worse off in the world but im not sleeping eating i just feel depressed as @*!# over last week or two with the future gloom ahead, first time in my life i feel my self struggling and not being able to deal with it 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glrnet Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Get yourself to the doctors mate, none of us know or understand how we will feel about this kind of stuff until it happens and you've certainly just had more than your fair share that's for sure. There's a thread on here about anxiety which has been useful to at least one member, have a read mate, it might help. http://www.350z-uk.c...ge__hl__anxiety Really hope things look up for you soon 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Sounds like a pretty tough time mate, but chin up and it'll all come round in the end. I'd like to think that most companies have wised up and that pulling stunts like imposing formal disciplinary action for puny things to get rid of people doesn't work - there are loads of routes you can take if they actually do this - Citizens Advice, Employment Tribunals, Unions, etc. One of my mates has faced the redundancy axe FIVE times with the same company in about two years, he told me it's the not knowing that's the worst part and it was taking its toll on him, and his relationship with his Mrs and their kids. To take his mind off things he started pro-actively looking for jobs and seeing what else is out there, even looking at re-training to start another career as something else entirely... He said it felt like it gave him back some of the 'power', as it were, knowing that if the worst did happen, he had at least half an idea of what he'd do with himself. Not knowing is awful, but worrying about something you can't control is pointless and stressful. I know this is much easier said than anything else, but it's true... Worry about things you CAN influence, after all, the Risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the belief you can buy yourself the time to do it later is a dangerous risk. Failing that, go cycling, rock climbing, clean your car, see your mates (etc), do your best to take your mind off the whole situation and give your body time to relax. Or have a cuppa tea... tea solves a lot of problems for me. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G-girl. Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 I am sorry to hear that, therefore have a hug 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GIXXERUK Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 (edited) Hat off to you for writing that and hat off to everyone on the forum that you feel able to write it You have had to take a lot on board recently and it's only natural you will feel depressed faced with what seems like a no win situation, so don't beat yourself up for feeling that way. What do you do and whereabouts are you ? Maybe people can shoot some ideas you're way on employment or training You have to believe in yourself and believe that something good will come of this, it's not a terminal illness etc, you can turn this round, it's recoverable Chin up mate Edited June 12, 2014 by GIXXERUK 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kev Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Go to the doctors mate. The last 4 years have been pretty shitty to me. Doctor helps 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daruna Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 It takes some pretty hefty testicles to own up to yourself that your struggling to cope. That's the hardest bit imo. Now you need to ask help from docs, lean on family and find something that gives you a bit of peace. Working out, running and gaming are some things that helped distract me through a pretty tough time. Good luck to you and family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davedutch Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Certainly go to the docs and discuss your feelings, there is lots of support out there. But don't be too quick to start popping pills, from people I've seen it only masks issues, get out and try to be positive (often easier said than done!) Think about what you might like to do next and look into training requirements etc. If there is nothing on the horizon think about volunteering, this can be very rewarding and will look better on your cv - on that point, get your cv up to date and post it on as many job sites as you can. I still get approached three years down the road with job opportunities. Just remember, there is life after redundancy, many of us have been through it, often more than once. Finally, don't ever be too macho to ask for help. Good luck. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GIXXERUK Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 If you consider any form of medication, research it first, there are many many side affects to these pills 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GMballistic Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Another plus one for the doctors here. Helped me through something difficult in the past ~ was given a very low dosage of some tablets and have to say they did the trick in pulling me through along with the support from family/friends and the doctor. Hope you start feeling yourself again soon. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sipar69 Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Don't be too hard on yourself. Part of being a 'a bloke' is that we're not supposed to be vulnerable but the reality is it's part of being human to worry about things we can't control. As others have said, if you feel things are getting too much pop to your docs. They're very alert these days to non physical stresses and will offer you some useful advice and pointers. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhackyWill Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Very sorry to hear that Steve, I think you are been very sensible discussing it. We all have down times, good advice to seek help. Take care mate . and here's hoping all will work out for the best soon. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg tl Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 I don't know you and you don't know me... A lot of us are strangers on here but one thing we have in common other than Nissan 350zs are that we are all human and we can't all make it happen for the best for ourselves all of the time. As one door shuts, another will open... You have to go down before you can go up... Just make sure you're worrying about things that matter in life and don't waste time worrying about things you have no control over. It's a waste of energy. Look into other opportunities that may be lying in wait for you out there in the big wild world. Steer clear of the drugs, the powers of human determination, striving for happiness and survival are far more powerful. All the best. You'll turn it around. You've taken the first step out of a rut by talking about it. Now time to act on it. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZEUS Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 For me, when I felt the walls were tumbling in around me , I got counselling and it really helped. Infact it's the thing that turned my life around! I have no idea to this day what he said but we talked and talked ( or more to the point I did) and then it all made some sort of sense to me. Hard for me to post this but it if it helps then it's worth that. chris. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grundy Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 As Batman was once told... Why do we fall down? To pick ourselves back up! 'going to look like a right fool if I cocked that quote up!' 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wasso Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Life is a very tough world, I've lost both parents in the space of 3 years, now dealing with their aftermath, moving house, work stress, life stress, family stress. In fact I'm actually still working (all be it in the hotel and have a five minute wine break), and I can't understand how I keep going! I went to the doctors recently, had my blood taken and blood pressure, turns out I'm actually OK, much to my surprise. Something I actually learnt myself, no prompting, and to be fair it's common sense. If you want something to change, you need to make it happen. The mind is a powerful computer that can play many mind games, from happiness to depression. If I feel down, I do something that makes me happy, and believe it or not just having a chat with a mate and having a laugh makes for a wonderful sedative to pain. There's no harm in seeing a doc, that's what they're there for. Chat, discuss, explain how you feel. They will survey the best option/outcome of helping you along. Work wise you need to stay motivated and say "I will find a suitable job". As soon as you start doubting yourself, and with how you feel, you'll end up being and feeling negative. And don't feel worried about posting your feelings on here. I did the same regarding my parents in April, and it really did help. This isn't FaceBook, it's dedicated forum folk here to help, whether that be a mechanical lending hand, advice on parts, or just discussing life in general. Don't worry you'll make it through the hard times....... be positive and try and find the opportunity to have a giggle and smile. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gsexr Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Life is a challenge and all that is thrown at us can affect us in different ways. Its a difficult time but you are not alone and support is all around just reach out as you have done and it will be there. Not sure what you do but have you considered joining forces with your dad and starting something up together. As one door closes another opens and it could be an option. I know its hard but try not to waste energy on why you are being made redundant as there`s not much you can do about it and it will tear you up. Its the job that`s redundant not the person and its best to just think of it that way. Many thoughts will go through your head and discussion on here is a good way to get opinions from others that will help clear the way. Think of this as a chance to re-evaluate what you want and seize the moment. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 MTFU Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 I jest of course. That's not a great place to be, but you will find a way through. It won't be clear now, but it will happen. Everyone is here for you, internet-based or not, we're still your friends and will always be here. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wasso Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 (edited) MTFU GTFO! Edit Edited June 12, 2014 by Wasso 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJRamze Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 Its good to see such a supportive community. If your a hard worker which its very safe to assume you are you will be able to get something. It may even put you in a better paid happier place. It will be tough to see it, I've been in a similar situation job and recent passing wise but I was made redundant and I got back our there as soon as possible and found a job I'm very happy in. I wish you the very best of luck. Sent from my One using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
350zedd Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 I lost both my parents within a year when I was 24. I had no brothers or sisters or any close family to help. I was basically on my own for the first time in my life. I struggled with grief and depression but generally tried to stay positive and offload to anybody who would have a listening ear This is a good thing to speak to others ,,,as they say a problem shared is a problem halved Try and remain positive about your situation and deal with it one day at a time. If you lived closer I'd come around and we could have a chat Failing that I'll give you a big forum hug instead ( a manly one!) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock_Steady Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 It's inevitable that life with through some tough times at us and sometimes the fickle finger of fate likes to ride into the equation too. Sounds like a lot has happened all at once. It does take a man to fess up and step up and say that something's wrong. So why not go to the doctor? what have you got to lose? Get it off your chest and take it a day at the time. Don't think about it all at once, that's enough to make an onion cry. With all this bad there must be some good around the corner.Take it till life runs out. You're still young and have your family. That's important. I have lost a job before and a loved one so I know that crushing feeling of "what do I do now?" well, you have to dust yourself off and keep on. Don't let it beat you Stevo, shout at the devil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricey Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 For me, when I felt the walls were tumbling in around me , I got counselling and it really helped. Infact it's the thing that turned my life around! I have no idea to this day what he said but we talked and talked ( or more to the point I did) and then it all made some sort of sense to me. Hard for me to post this but it if it helps then it's worth that. chris. Same here. Counselling opened my eyes to what was making me feel that way and not what I assumed was making me feel that way. Talking to mates etc is always a big help too. The main thing to remember....always.....is that is passes. Eventually everything comes to pass. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevoD Posted June 13, 2014 Author Share Posted June 13, 2014 Cheers to all for taking the time to read and give a few pointers and to those that have sent a Pm of the last few hours, Think im more worried for my parents being with the said company's for last 20-30 years of there lives they know nothing else if that makes sense i mean with me worse comes to worse ill sell stuff like the Zed to make any needed capital and get a job working in a local coop or something like that on minimum wage if needs be just feel a bit of a failure in the sense i got somewhere with this company taking home 27k last year which for a 22 year old seems good to me but i have nothing to prove i can do the job im doing to more to another company and do the same thing, and i dont wanna start from the bottom on minimum wage again, and regarding the company with now there is no care for staff or trying to help find a away of keeping obs its not even because the company is closing down they can just make a quick buck by selling the land. http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/Royston/Fears-for-jobs-at-Welding-Alloys-plant-in-Fowlmere-as-talks-loom-20140605060003.htm http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/More-than-50-jobs-to-go-at-Welding-Alloys-in-Fowlmere-20140611173758.htm http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/Business/Business-News/More-than-50-jobs-at-risk-at-Welding-Alloys-Fowlmere-manufacturing-plant-which-has-been-in-the-village-since-1966-20140612061554.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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