jim

I got a set off eBay for a decent price for my wife's Qashqai. Also got a set of mudflaps fairly cheap , but haven't had time to fit them yet. http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Stainless-Steel-D ... dZViewItem

Like it.

Reminds of a similar one. The teacher was getting to the end of Little Red Riding Hood, to the bit where the wolf ate her granny. During the pause that followed, one of the infants, with a look of horror on his face, simply said, "the bas***d".

+1

if the results are good we may order a few kits in. I'd have one. Give your paint shop a break for once I'd be interested too. My front bumper is peppered with tiny chip marks.

Looks like this kit gives good results, but it's a pity to have to order it from the States. Can you get it over here?

+1 what Tim said, with slight adjustment

45? - you've a long way to go to catch up with some of us around here. by the way.

+1

Do you guys ever do any real work? How long did it take you to draw that Louis?

Looks like work rules me out as well, but still an outside chance I can make it.

we know why now Why? i just dont know what a bingo card is! Just came across this thread - these posts are funnier than the original joke!

I have just the one behind the driver's seat. Thinking of fitting one in the passenger footwell, possibly to replace the cup holder which is broken anyway.

How long before the police pull you for the small plate, do you think? Like the wheels, by that way.

After suffering crippling depreciation a few years back on a new car (not a Z), I vowed I would never do that again. Nearly new makes much more sense, especially if you get a substantial warranty remainder.

I looked at these after reading the Auto Express review, but my problem is that my JDM has a square rear plate. I wonder if the sensors could be removed from the meta frame and adapted to fit the JDM plate?

Nice one, Nixy

Must send that to my daughter in Queensland.

That's not because they don't get fog in Japan - they do! However, it seems that Japanese drivers seem to be able to adjust their speed to take account of reduced visibility without the need for extra lights designed to blind other drivers. I can honestly say that the rear fog light, installed by my importer to meet UK SVA requirements, is the one piece of equipment on the car that I have never used in the two years I have been driving it.

A silver UK heading north on the A80 near Cumbernauld just after 09:30 this morning, then a sunset on the same road near Stepps about 5 minutes later. Later on, around 11:00, I followed a GM north on the same road from Stepps to Mollinsburn where it pulled off. I was in the Qashqai that almost boxed you in.

Paul, Copied direct from the service manual. Recommended fluid is Genuine NISSAN PSF II or equivalent. Cheers

+1

Apologies to zummertor for the repost.

The Husband Store A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. So a woman goes to the shopping centre to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight. The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think...what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes. The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at Husband Mart and have a nice day.

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping . This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford. Dear Mrs. Murray, While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look" using different size funnels. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again." And last, but not least: December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here." Yours sincerely, Charles Brown Store Manager