Husky Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Don't stick a hand saw into the nail of your left index finger. It hurts incredibly ****ing badly. Any tips you want to share, please do! If only there was some kind of "expect wood to split and saw to fly down into finger" warning around, maybe I'd not have cried myself to sleep last night. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponsonby Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Here is a tip - follow the advice you give to others. On a particularly hot day I opened the window on an old portacabin and propped it open. Metal framed window, very sharp corners. Went round and advised all staff that it was open and to be very careful. About an hour later someone shouted for me because a phone call I was waiting for had just come in so I ran for the phone, past the window and ....26 stitches later my cheek was back on. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BulletMagnet Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Never say "Watch This...!" to a passenger when driving a car. No personal experience, but plenty of sillybeggars about that do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock_Steady Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Here's my tip that comes from many experiences from fish and chip shops. Surfaces that are really hot, don't necessarily look hot. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rock_Steady Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Here is a tip - follow the advice you give to others. On a particularly hot day I opened the window on an old portacabin and propped it open. Metal framed window, very sharp corners. Went round and advised all staff that it was open and to be very careful. About an hour later someone shouted for me because a phone call I was waiting for had just come in so I ran for the phone, past the window and ....26 stitches later my cheek was back on. OUCH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricey Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Never say "Watch This...!" to a passenger when driving a car. No personal experience, but plenty of sillybeggars about that do I did that! 17 years old........written off 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Husky Posted June 26, 2014 Author Share Posted June 26, 2014 Here is a tip - follow the advice you give to others. On a particularly hot day I opened the window on an old portacabin and propped it open. Metal framed window, very sharp corners. Went round and advised all staff that it was open and to be very careful. About an hour later someone shouted for me because a phone call I was waiting for had just come in so I ran for the phone, past the window and ....26 stitches later my cheek was back on. Arrrrgghhhh that's horrible!! "You know how I got these scars?" Never say "Watch This...!" to a passenger when driving a car. No personal experience, but plenty of sillybeggars about that do Yeah, it's the sound that comes right before a crash. If i hear the words "watch this" coming from my mouth, I think "BRACE BRACE BRACE". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliveBoy Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Equally bad to "Watch this" is "One last lap" I did that a few weeks ago and it was when my clutch went Turns out I was lucky, as blowing it at the track not on the way home gave me time to find solutions to getting home from Holland Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Never cut fresh pasta sheets on a slightly rough work surface with a slightly blunt knife. Not blunt enough to prevent it cutting the tip of my finger off, I might add. Never run after your cycling mate when aged 11, and take a short cut over wet grass. One somersault later, and my teeth left a nice imprint in the concrete pathway. Never try and get a pound coin on the roof of your mouth by putting on your tongue, then doing a handstand. It'll go straight to the back of your mouth and you'll nearly choke and die. Another one from my youth, that. Never tell a woman that yes, her bum does indeed look big in that dress. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bounty Bar Kid Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Never lick yellow snow. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bounty Bar Kid Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Never use a sponge or one bucket when cleaning your car. Never walk away from your zed after locking her without looking back once more to check she's locked. Never say I bet that chilli sauce isn't that hot. I'm Asian so I can handle more than you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliveBoy Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Never say I bet that chilli sauce isn't that hot. I'm Asian so I can handle more than you. That's a little bit racist no? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 S'okay, positive racism is fine. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Husky Posted June 26, 2014 Author Share Posted June 26, 2014 (edited) Never say I bet that chilli sauce isn't that hot. I'm Asian so I can handle more than you. That's a little bit racist no? It's genetics. The pound coin one. oh man I laughed for a while at that. Edited June 26, 2014 by Husky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliveBoy Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 S'okay, positive racism is fine. But if I said: Never say I bet that chilli sauce isn't that hot. I'm white so I can handle more than you. I'd be in the stink? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Husky Posted June 26, 2014 Author Share Posted June 26, 2014 Because it's not based on any scientific fact If you said, I'm a british white male so I can handle more wine than say, a japanese bloke. I can't see why that'd be a problem either, it's based on the science of genetics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bounty Bar Kid Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 All my mates are white and they get my.humour. I just quoted what I said. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BulletMagnet Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Only racists see racism in race related statements 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliveBoy Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Only racists see racism in race related statements Well then I've learned something about myself today 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BulletMagnet Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 All my mates are white and they get my.humour. I just quoted what I said. Same here, but at work. When there is priority cargo to be discharged off a vessel, then we sometimes to a partial drop of lashings rather than the whole deck so it can be discharged, this is called a "Yellow Start" The other day my Chargehand says to the team "Fellas, we go a Yellow start" I said "For me every start is a yellow start..." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjf1985 Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Don't put your leg under a roundabout and see what happens when some kids swing it round! = A very twisted ankle, foot facing the wrong way! Don't jump off park benches when drunk the night before going on holiday! = Torn ankle ligament Don't bust your head open on a storage heater at your mums workplace when you shouldn't even be there = Bloody carpets Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevoD Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Equally bad to "Watch this" is "One last lap" I did that a few weeks ago and it was when my clutch went Turns out I was lucky, as blowing it at the track not on the way home gave me time to find solutions to getting home from Holland One last lap or one last outing rule is very true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rob63 Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 MICRA DRIVERS: Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before starting a long journey. You drive the thing like a sodding dodgem car anyway. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GMballistic Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Never try to make a homemade knuckleduster using 10mm brass block, a Black & Decker drill, no vice and a 14mm drill bit ~ will result in said brass block spinning around on the drill bit at over 13K rpm before flying off and almost braking a shin. Then followed by weeks of going to see a nurse to repair the 10mm wide, 10mm deep hole in your shin. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mudman Posted June 26, 2014 Share Posted June 26, 2014 Don't eat yellow snow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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