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Depression


TT350

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Hey up.

 

I don't often post about 350Z's these days. This forum is sort of a one stop shop for me because the ownership is pretty diverse and that reflects in the members.

 

Depression. It hits us all in varying intensity over the span of a lifetime. And if it doesn't, then I want to know the secret.

 

I've been on and off Fluoxetine since 2000 because of varying life experiences. It helped. Seemed to keep me balanced. About 6 or 8 weeks ago I seemed to be stricken with and overcome by a never ending wave of intense gloom that I haven't been able to lift since.

 

I'm reluctant to try other anti depressants. I think a few crucial areas in my life are extremely lacking.

 

A) fulfilment of potential

B) Relationship problems

C) Loneliness (most difficult to resolve)

D) Guilt over mistakes made

 

With that in mind, how are B, C and D resolved?

 

How do you deal with depression? Bare in mind depression is a barrage of relentless gloom, not just "Hmmmn, I feel a bit 'meh' today".

 

I can get by. But life is like wading through quicksand.

 

Maybe like minded people can discuss this subject. You're not alone.

 

 

 

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Can't say I've ever had clinically diagnosed depression, but I certainly have better weeks/months and worse ones when it comes to my mood and mentality. Talking, Time, Exercise and Acceptance (the latter being the hardest by far) seem to get me by. I think this is normal life for most people.

 

I have some friends and ex-partners who have life long depression issues. Counselling, drugs, exercise and time seem to help them.

 

I'm no doctor, but you should probably go see one (or a councillor) for advice.

 

Well done for opening up about it too - acknowledging there's a problem and talking about it often seems to be the first critical step in the healing process.

 

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I feel your pain and have suffered (diagnosed by the doc), not just a bit out of sorts

 

The problem i found was it wasnt so much that anything was actually wrong with my life, but it just highlighted things that you felt could be wrong. Imho the first thing you must recognise is, its a chemical imbalance in your brain, not that there is something actually wrong in your life. My life is no different now to when i had depression, in fact worse, my sister died from cancer and other sh*t, but I am able to process my feelings rationally as I am not suffering with depression at present.

 

Everyone deals with it differently, there is no one answer, maybe medication, maybe counselling etc

 

The thing that kept my head above water was, i just knew deep down one day at some point i knew i would feel better as in reality life was pretty good.

 

No offence meant but i am sure i have read you take steroids, if i misread i apologise, if i didnt, thats the first sh*t you want to knock on the head.

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I had a great (sarcasm) time with anxiety and panic attacks last year along with not feeling like I can do anything; I wanted to do things, wanted to be motivated but just couldn't get there, I didn't want to sleep all day or anything, I just... nothing. It's a hard thing to convey to anyone who hasn't dealt with it but it does suck. The way people treat mental health in general is poor, it should be treated like a broken bone or a virus; you're ill, you need treatment and time to heal, you need some concessions during that time and the current culture barely cares.

 

For me it took a few steps that I had to push for myself; I moved jobs closer to home, that increased my down time and reduced wasted money on travel. The job change was back to something more familiar and comfortable with people I knew well, that helped me push work back as a secondary to other things in my life. I got off my ass and sorted my finances out, it's not like they were bad or anything, but I gave up opening any mail for a long time and let things dwell, always there in the back of my mind that I "should really sort that" but for some reason it was "easier" to leave in a corner, it wasn't easier. I was just trying to ignore being an adult really :lol:

 

I turned 30 early this year and after the change of jobs in January, I lost 2 and a half stone, saved 8 grand and have a plan for the future that makes me excited. Oh and I have the time to be a pain in the ass to you people on the side :p I'm in a much happier place now and making scary changes is the way to make that happen. Get out of the grind.

 

Oh I should add that I changed my diet completely which made a massive difference to how I feel, the days where I "cheat" and eat that old diet leave me feeling like utter crap.

Edited by Husky
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I could go on for days and days about depression and mental health issues, but I won't.

 

One thing I've learned over the years, and it took a while, is that there's no sense worrying about things you simply can't change. Mistakes you made in the past are just that: in the past. Letting them influence and affect you now achieves nothing except to make you feel bad.

 

I learned from things in the past, usually the VERY hard way, and now do my utmost not to repeat them. I'm not saying it's easy, by any means... I had to reach a point in my life where I was sick and tired of feeling "bad" about things before I could make a start on feeling better about everything!

 

You have to WANT to change things, I've found. Cliche it may be, but admitting there's an issue is half the battle! And your opening post suggests that you're admitting that, so that's an excellent first step! :thumbs:

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I find a big fat line helps!

 

I joke.

 

Have you tried counselling or just talking to someone?

 

I'm on some antibiotics atm that are bringing me down a bit (lose lose situation, skin condition flares up and makes me feel like sh1t without them), I did go and talk to someone last year and it helped a lot. Counselling mixed with hypnotherapy. Would highly recommend it, helps you think about things differently.

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Counselling mixed with hypnotherapy. Would highly recommend it, helps you think about things differently.

 

qipi887.gif

 

EDIT: Office Space reference, if you haven't seen the film office space, shame on you! Go watch it now.

Edited by Husky
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I am not a doctor, or an expert. However I do believe we all have the capability to slip into depression, it is a real thing that is physical and present as Husky mentioned above. Ironically I often find people when depressed mention how well other people are doing and are always comparing, Facebook can be a bitch for this. However when I have had extended lows, just talking with people, openly, opens them up too and you get a sense of perspective that allows you to start dealing with it. Often seeing just the superficial stuff of other people makes you feel inadequate and isolated, talking all your feelings through with people from friends, to professionals will help, I think.

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It's an obvious one, but making plans is a good way forward. Take each problem at a time, and work out a way to improve it.

 

If you want a relationship, get on Match.com and meet as many people as you can.

If it's general loneliness, get to as many social events for your hobby as you can.

If it's guilt over mistakes, work out what you did wrong and then plan to never do the same thing again.

 

 

I know that's all really basic and easy to write down, but it's helped me in the past when I've had some darker times.

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It's an obvious one, but making plans is a good way forward. Take each problem at a time, and work out a way to improve it.

 

If you want a relationship, get on Match.com and meet as many people as you can.

If it's general loneliness, get to as many social events for your hobby as you can.

If it's guilt over mistakes, work out what you did wrong and then plan to never do the same thing again.

 

 

I know that's all really basic and easy to write down, but it's helped me in the past when I've had some darker times.

 

The loneliness part is not as easy as that, as in your head you still believe you're alone, its a real hard one to get out of. went through it myself several years ago. touch wood managed to get my head round things and been ok since! Will type up full story and how i got over it when i get 10 mins to spare!

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I've found that Fluoxetine works well to balance things out, but doesn't help with anxiety. I'm going to try a move to Sertraline soon, as I have heard it works well with both.

 

In terms of D (the guilt over past mistakes), I suffered badly from that one in the past. I didn't really find counselling that useful, BUT, one quote from my counselor really stood out and actually pretty much solved that aspect completely. It sounds so simple and obvious. It was 'Any decision you've ever made, was the right one to make at the time based on the information you had at the time'. Basically you shouldn't ever beat yourself up if you've made a choice which seemed right at the time but later turned out to be a screw up.

 

I would also highly recommend parkrun. If you don't know about it, here's the website: http://www.parkrun.org.uk/ . They are weekly timed runs all over the UK, I'm sure there would be one near you. They're free, and all you need to do is reg online and print a barcode. All shapes and sizes attend - you don't have to have ever run before. The community at all of those runs is so welcoming and supportive. It's a great way to get to know new people, and feel a part of a community which is separate to any other aspect of your life. It also gives you something else to focus on - some brand new goals to achieve. The runs are 5k (roughly 3 miles), and you get a text with your time each week, and how you compared to everyone else. There's usually tea and coffee and buns after each run. I can't recommend it enough. Best of luck mate.

Edited by colesl4w
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I found that taking no medication was the best idea. stops your body relying on tablets!

 

I had a friend that would stop taking his medication because he felt he didn't need it (which meant it was actually working for him, that's why he felt better), oh boy we got him back on that ASAP. Sometimes it's the right thing.

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I totally feel your pain. Early in 2014 i was diagnosed with having PTSD that came about because of been in an abusive relationship with a girl i met on a dating site. I was initially love bombed by this extremely attractive girl but i ignored the many red flags that were waving in front of me. But that is all it took , six months and this girl had ripped my self esteem to bits.

 

I took fluoxetine for nearly two years after and had counselling.

 

If you do go on Match or on any other dating site to elevate your loneliness please watch out for the personality disordered.... there are very many disordered people out there. And they are out to destroy you. And please learn to love yourself before you meet someone else.

 

I never knew any of this @*!# in 2013

 

http://esteemology.c...nd-serendipity/

 

http://narcissistsup...-dating-online/

Edited by Beavis
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Counselling probably saved my life, just talking to a trained counsellor week after week about not a lot (so I thought at the time) helped me click things into place. Medication just numbed me completely and I felt out of it all the time.

If you smoke weed then stop as its a massive cause of mental health problems and if you drink stop or cut right down, drinking gives me terrible anxiety the next day.

I agree with Bradders, I could be surrounded by lots of friends all the time but still feel totally alone. It's a terrible illness to live with.

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If you want a relationship, get on Match.com and meet as many people as you can.

 

I wouldn't advise to rely solely on this for any typical guy under 50.

Use online stuff sparingly, as yes it certainly has it's place but being a man, meet girls/women properly in person- it's far better for the (male) soul in the long run, trust me.

This was the main thing for me that freaked me out when I was younger, so I can give advice on that stuff if wanted (PM).

 

One thing to note, as it sounds quite serious seeing that you've been prescribed medication, it's most likely to be with you for life. It'll never go but you can keep it at bay mostly but understanding more about it and yourself.

Churchill called it the black dog.

 

Great tips chaps ! (ooer)

Good advice on general health, drinking, food intake and exercise are all contributing factors.

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My doctor tried to put me on anti-depressants 30 Yrs ago when out of the blue my mum had a massive heart attack and died a week before my 21 st birthday I didn't take them it seemed too easy almost disrespectful to my mum somehow (strange what goes on in your head when you're depressed ) what got me through is the line borrowed by many get rich /succeed type books (which for the record I hate and have never read ) positive mental attitude easier said than done I know but at the end of the day we are all different so sorry I have no magic fix for you all I have to give is the knowledge that your not alone oh and this Smiley :)

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