Don't want to slate you mate, I just wish you would get real and accept the present situation.
This appears to be a chapter of your life that has just closed and is over.
So please just deal with it and move on gracefully.
Painful but very simple.
We have all been there, and we all have our different ways of dealing with stuff like this, however opening up on an open forum is not, in my opinion the way to bring closure to your present situation.
Get this thread locked, get your head into the right pace, accept that your relationship is over and move on and get a life.
And most of all try and be happy.