Toon Chris

How many others have said that and come out in debt? ...um... maybe?

Sounds too tempting to me. How long before you have the footie on when driving and you end up in the ditch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fh5XVPSx9Dk

ouch

Think how you would feel if you had an Audi TT? There are billions of them. Commoner than muck!

gonna be deafening. Glad about the muffs as got a 5 hour drive back Mmm, 5 hours of muffs Sorry, I'll get me coat...

3,3,3,3,3,3,3,3 :teeth:

Dear God, what a load of whingers. You don't see any articles about people having to suffer the grimy stench of London when they visit, do you?!

There is someone called Heide Von Horne? Result!

A big corporation recently hired several cannibals in the interest of cultural diversity and political correctness. You are all part of our team now," said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees." The cannibals promised they would not. Four weeks later, their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard and I'm satisfied with you. However, one of our shipping clerks has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals all shook their heads no. After the boss left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the shipping clerk ?" A hand rose hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals continued, "You fool --- for 4 weeks we've been eating managers and no one noticed anything. But Noooooo, you had to go and eat someone who actually does something!"

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables; and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, 'Jesus is watching you.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, 'Jesus is watching you.' Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot. 'Yep,' the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you.' The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?' 'Moses,' replied the bird. 'Moses?' the burglar laughed . 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?' " The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler, Jesus.'

+1 Do you guys make your birds dress up in CF lingerie??? +1 Am I the only one that think CF looks chav-tastic? No, me too

I`d be depressed if I lived in Basingstoke too, Chris

Hi Rob, Good choice of colour there :kicking Whereabouts are you in the country? Fancy turning up at the Wales meet and checking out all the other Z's?

The Value of a Drink "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams .. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ Brian O'Rourke WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin,of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the BuffaloTheory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not

Erm, looks a bit ginger to me

Not quite purely for the sound, throttle response also improves - although the sound is pretty impressive and for not much more than the price of a tank of petrol

But the undercoat on the white cars is bright pink! Nah, just kidding

Erm, I don't think number 4 is a real woman! Even so...

At last, a funny one

Absolutely yes, Phil. As your reputation is such a large contributory to the success of your business, anyone buying a car from you knows that you are pushing to live up to that same rep, not just some other car salesman who is happy to get the cash and see the back of you. The fact that you can offer everything in ongoing maintenance at sub-dealer prices and also have such a range of good and knowledge in the bolt-ons is a real plus. A one-stop shop with reasonable prices is all most people want. Go for it! I`ll be the first to trade in for a 400Z in 2-4 years time

Nope but I was an Azure with stubby on that turned on to the A1 at about 5.10pm Must have just missed you

An ordeal but well worth-while