Ekona Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 I guess a lot of my opinion comes from when I broke up with the Ex, and realising that I never wanted to be in that position again. If I can't afford the basics by myself (house, bills, grub, car) then I'd feel incredibly vulnerable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bockaaarck Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 (edited) We have separate accounts, had before we married, still have them now. I pay some of the bills, the better half pays others. For bigger things like holidays, furniture etc we go 50/50. I may get the flights and spending money, she might get transfers, buy all the tickets for stuff we visit etc, buy dinner. It seems to work pretty well. When I'm looking at cars etc, that's my spare money, I wouldn't even dream of asking her to contribute. Although the other day I did see a lovely series III E Type in Classic and Sports car mag and she did offer, with no prompting, to 'go halves' as an investment! In very lucky Edited October 29, 2014 by Bockaaarck 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flex Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Hello, I thought it was strange this thread popped up. A long, long time ago when the world was rosey and I was naive I believed 100% in joint bank accounts! Fast forward and billions spent on women and I no longer see that as realistic. DO NOT get me wrong I still pay the lions share of most things but I get zip all thanks really, I just think your other half should live in the real world and not have every single thing handed to them on a plate. I have helped my other half (especially when she was at uni) I spent £1ks supporting her (even though I went into debt for the cause). I just think if you give and give you dont really allow them to fully understand the concept of living in the real world finance wise and to create a rod for your own back. Yeah I could have phrased that all a lot better but I'm tired so please dont read too much into it.. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martinmac Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Like Dan I learnt the hard way from my first marriage and was left with a lot of debt but still feel theres no point in having a relationship if the trust is not there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingrob Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Ha i must me the biggest mug here Atm i am single But still crash in the spare room at my old house so i can be near my kids my Ex does not work at all she looks after the kids i pay for everything for the kids and what she needs all bills food ect. she does not ask for much so i can't complain to much My view is when the kids turn 18 she can get a job until then we are connected due to the kids so i pay my way i put money in her bank every month ie what the bills should come to Plus 10% extra she can spend it or save it her choice 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveM Posted October 29, 2014 Author Share Posted October 29, 2014 far more people go the seperate bank account way than i thought there would be if i am honest.... my sister in law and her other half do the seperate finaces thing and it just screams of no trust to me.... while out they see something that they want to but a memeber of the family for xmas but only he has means of paying for it so he buys it and she has to pay him back... all very odd. she earns more and has a nicer car than him and she says she has saving but he doesnt... if it all goes belly up seperate accounts will mean nothing anyway it also seems a bit odd to me that people seem to be going into marriages and basing their finaces on 'what happens if we split'.... is that just the way it is these days and divorce has become so much more accepted and common that people plan for it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliveBoy Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 We have a joint account, where each month we put money in to split 50/50 the cost of the outgoings for bills etc. After that our money is our own, more because of me, because I don't want to spend her money on the car by accident as it's an expensive hobby. We pay our own car insurances, tax etc unless one of us has an unexpected bill and needs a hand. Holidays etc just depend on the circumstance, normally I'll pick up some extra bill money and she'll pay for the holiday or vice versa. For Christmas/Birthdays etc I pay for my family and she pays for hers. We don't have any children yet so obviously that will change things a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martinmac Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 My son had to go to a private school for medical reasons and I gave my ex the money to pay for it every month. I was not happy when the school called me and said the fees hadnt been paid for 6 months. Trust doesnt always work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flex Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 (edited) Like Dan I learnt the hard way from my first marriage and was left with a lot of debt but still feel theres no point in having a relationship if the trust is not there. Not always a matter of trust though, I mean I trust my Mrs with my life (more than I do myself with it ) But my Mrs is just shocking with money zero, planning or saving ability. Just spend until the months pay is gone end of story. perhaps I'm being harsh, perhaps it's cause she's had f'all so far due to study etc and now she's enjoying it cause she earning decent money. I however need to save some money so need to be a bit more sensible. I guess that's what happens when you're 30 yrs older than your partner Edited October 29, 2014 by Flex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martinmac Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 I am 14 years older than mine but she is a lot better than me with money. She doesnt do internet banking though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bockaaarck Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 (edited) For some people it might be a trust thing, for us it's not. I don't think either of us can see any advantage or reason to have a joint account, go through to rigmarole of sorting it out. Just seems a bit if a ball ache. In some respects I think, if you trust your partner, who gives a fig about a joint bank account? Why does having a joint account make it more trustworthy? To me it's less, trusting e.g, "...I can see what you're paying in and taking out, every single penny, so I know exactly where the money is coming from and what you, yes that's right YOU, are spending.." Doesn't seem very trusting to me Edited October 29, 2014 by Bockaaarck 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveM Posted October 29, 2014 Author Share Posted October 29, 2014 (edited) i had never looked at it that way..... just to add thats not why we have a joint account and that never happens.... but i guess i can see how it COULD happen Edited October 29, 2014 by SteveM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AliveBoy Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 I'm the one who's terrible with money, zero saving skills. Had to stop the best job of my life because of it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrt Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 I,ve worked for forty years. My wife hasn't, worked for thirty years. I earn all the money .. She spends it ! Q.E.D. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WINKJ Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 (edited) my GF calls me 50/50 James... make of that what you will Edited October 29, 2014 by WINKJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ioneabee Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 (edited) For some people it might be a trust thing, for us it's not. I don't think either of us can see any advantage or reason to have a joint account, go through to rigmarole of sorting it out. Just seems a bit if a ball ache. In some respects I think, if you trust your partner, who gives a fig about a joint bank account? Why does having a joint account make it more trustworthy? To me it's less, trusting e.g, "...I can see what you're paying in and taking out, every single penny, so I know exactly where the money is coming from and what you, yes that's right YOU, are spending.." Doesn't seem very trusting to me now - I see it as completely the opposite to that for exactly the same reasons I don't see it as my money or her money - its our money - if she wants to spend on something, she does and the same applies to me or the kids etc...... its just as I say, our money Edited October 29, 2014 by ioneabee 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mouthwash Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 I guess that's what happens when you're 30 yrs older than your partner No one has picked up on this?? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brillomaster Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 well the views on marriage have completely changed in the last few decades... years ago it used to be get married, then move in together, then have kids. now its move in together, have kids, then maybe get married. certainly not what it was. also in days of yore the man used to work, and the wife would stay at home tending to the kids - that's all changed as well, men and women earn equal amounts, so split things 50/50. theres also a lot more disposable income around since both partners are earning money. Women work just as hard as men, so why shouldn't a couple have separate accounts for the men to spend their hard earned cash on cars, and women can spend their hard earned cash on shoes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bockaaarck Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 (edited) .........now - I see it as completely the opposite to that for exactly the same reasons I don't see it as my money or her money - its our money - if she wants to spend on something, she does and the same applies to me or the kids etc...... its just as I say, our money I know what you mean Andy , I would happily have a joint account, I think the better half probably would do too, we've just never consciously thought about it. For us the money just isn't that important I guess.I can't remember us ever even discussing a joint account to be honest. Probably why we haven't got one. Edited October 29, 2014 by Bockaaarck 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisB Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 We have a joint account which we both pay into for household expenses. We both have individual accounts for salary and personal money - my car is way more expensive to run than her Honda, whereas she has beauty/womanly treatments and such things - I obviously do not - so it seems wrong to load each other with the 'burden' of our own extravagances. I like beer a lot too, so have to pay for that separately Seems to work for us - married 10years, together for 18. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilscorp Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Wages into our own accounts then both send money into a joint account for bills, anything unexpected comes up I will pay for it. Both fortunate to have goodish jobs and parents who taught us how to save/spend money..... except when it come to car parts but I dont gamble or smoke so need some vice. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andy james Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Just pondering on the thought of if I was married and had a joint account Could I have slipped my couple of modifications through under the radar? ....................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bodyboarder81 Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 My wife doesn't work so she just spends the money and I earn it ...... But she does do the lions share of raising our son so I'm quite happy to do my bit . ...... She doesn't know what I have in our savings though , as she would want a new car if she new !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flex Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 My wife doesn't work so she just spends the money and I earn it ...... But she does do the lions share of raising our son so I'm quite happy to do my bit . ...... She doesn't know what I have in our savings though , as she would want a new car if she new !! Smart move! Woman are like mushrooms, keep 'em in the dark and feed them....., oh wait. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Just pondering on the thought of if I was married and had a joint account Could I have slipped my couple of modifications through under the radar? ....................... Err NO springs to mind - NO CHANCE IN HELL Well when we got together some 22 + years ago I was always overdrawn had no decent money management whatsoever if I wanted it I bought it if I couldn't afford it I financed it loans, loans and more loans, then bigger loans to pay of the smaller loans and buy something else - Then along she comes of course for the first year or so it was just the start of the relation ship and we did what most new couples do, when we moved in together we got a joint account and both our wages went in to it. She did (still does) all the money management, got me back in the black - yes I had to cut back on some of the toys or at least wait a while for them after a couple of years I would tell her what I wanted she would tell me if I could afford afford it - Worked and still works brilliantly - Can I take my bike test and have a CBR600 ??? - Yes Can I get a CBR900RR Fireblade - YES GSXRK1000 ??? Yes OK A Porsche 911 ? - Yes you get the idea I have a great wife, 2 great Kids a nice house and still have some great AWESOME toys - got the borrowing down to the essentials - House that sort of thing - only buy toys when I can afford them - no financing of toys anymore (or there would be a Lambo on the drive ) Holidays - whats one of them then??? If she want's something she gets it, if I want something I get it - we ask each other but I think that's more out of respect We can afford it or we can't 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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