Depression

[Juggalo]

How do you deal with depression? Bare in mind depression is a barrage of relentless gloom, not just "Hmmmn, I feel a bit 'meh' today".

 

I can get by. But life is like wading through quicksand.

 

Maybe like minded people can discuss this subject. You're not alone.

 

I don't mean to be flippant or comical, but I suffered with it for 10 years, pretty badly. Took all sorts of tablets for it.

Despite being close, and her being supportive, I eventually ended my marriage over other non related issues, and bam, my depression cleared. Never been happier in my life.

 

Sometimes the cause is right under your nose.

[TT350]

I was listening to a podcast the other day about ASMR. Mouth noises creeped me out!

 

Hope everything work out for you dude.

 

I have been suffering in silence for the last few years and at the moment I want to keep it that way. I'm just not ready to face up to facts.

 

You have made the biggest step by admitting to yourself there is something not quite right.

 

Yeah the mouth noise ones are weird. I don't listen to those.

 

I like the hair cut ones, or massage etc. There's hundreds of role play ones.

[nixy]

I've had some major issues with sleep in the last few months, mainly to do with work stress etc. I got to sleep ok but was waking up five or six times a night and then the brain would kick in and not switch off. Eventually I went to the doctors as I couldn't stand it any longer and was like a zombie. She prescribed me Phenergan which is actually available over the counter and is a first generation antihistamine. It makes you so drowsy they now use it for sedation and people afraid of flying, those kind of things. I worked brilliantly and I took it every day an hour or so before bed for a few weeks and got back into a good sleeping routine. I would still wake up a little in the night which is normal, everyone does but would just go straight back to sleep instead of sparking to life. I don't take it now.

 

Something else I can highly recommend is the relaxation apps by Andrew Johnson. There are free versions available on Itunes. I do a 15 minute relaxation quietly on my phone at bedtime and I just drift off while it's on. There's also a good breathing exercise one which helps with anxiety. Honestly it really works - even if it's just because you're focused on that rather than letting your mind tick. I use it now instead of having to watch tv while I'm in bed and then waking up again to switch it off. Give it a go.

[colesl4w]

I was listening to a podcast the other day about ASMR. Mouth noises creeped me out!

 

Hope everything work out for you dude.

 

I have been suffering in silence for the last few years and at the moment I want to keep it that way. I'm just not ready to face up to facts.

 

You have made the biggest step by admitting to yourself there is something not quite right.

 

Yeah the mouth noise ones are weird. I don't listen to those.

 

I like the hair cut ones, or massage etc. There's hundreds of role play ones.

 

How are you feeling these days bud?

[TT350]

I was listening to a podcast the other day about ASMR. Mouth noises creeped me out!

 

Hope everything work out for you dude.

 

I have been suffering in silence for the last few years and at the moment I want to keep it that way. I'm just not ready to face up to facts.

 

You have made the biggest step by admitting to yourself there is something not quite right.

 

Yeah the mouth noise ones are weird. I don't listen to those.

 

I like the hair cut ones, or massage etc. There's hundreds of role play ones.

 

How are you feeling these days bud?

 

Me?

 

Well when I think sh1t can't get any worse it does. So I console myself by saying "you're not at rock bottom yet" lol.

 

Plus mega knee pain and stress migraines which doctors will prescribe nothing for.

 

All in all, fair to middling lol.

 

Thanks for asking mate

[Bockaaarck]

I was listening to a podcast the other day about ASMR. Mouth noises creeped me out!

 

Hope everything work out for you dude.

 

I have been suffering in silence for the last few years and at the moment I want to keep it that way. I'm just not ready to face up to facts.

 

You have made the biggest step by admitting to yourself there is something not quite right.

 

Yeah the mouth noise ones are weird. I don't listen to those.

 

I like the hair cut ones, or massage etc. There's hundreds of role play ones.

 

How are you feeling these days bud?

 

Me?

 

Well when I think sh1t can't get any worse it does. So I console myself by saying "you're not at rock bottom yet" lol.

 

Plus mega knee pain and stress migraines which doctors will prescribe nothing for.

 

All in all, fair to middling lol.

 

Thanks for asking mate

 

 

I've had counseling in the past and I'm going through another set now. Always been an extremely consistent, happy, relaxed, stress free kind of guy. I am also extremely, beyond belief, resilient, I let nothing phase me.

 

That's partly the trouble though, I found I can absorb so much and then more, and then more, then more, more, more, more etc. Then the sponge becomes full, and I get signs which give me a clear indication something is not right, like wanting to bin the car on the motorway whilst on the way to the office.

 

Once those thoughts appear I act on it pretty much straight away, counseling, relaxation therapy, massage, de-stress - re-evaluate, apply a bit of mindfulness. I honestly thought it was that bad this time that I was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

 

Things have dramatically improved for me by taking that positive action, which I know is not easy.

[TT350]

I'm currently living hand to mouth.

 

Anything that costs extra (counselling, massages, therapy etc) are unavailable to me to de-stress.

 

I'm afraid it's going to be a long, long hard slog with no respite untill everything is sorted.

[GMballistic]

I'm currently living hand to mouth.

 

Anything that costs extra (counselling, massages, therapy etc) are unavailable to me to de-stress.

 

I'm afraid it's going to be a long, long hard slog with no respite untill everything is sorted.

 

You can always come on here to vent or even ask for help, ...not going to cost you a penny, well apart from your broadband/WiFi costs but still cheaper than a massage although I can't guarantee a "happy ending".

[Bodyboarder81]

Let's have a whip round so to speak and pay for a nice meal out for you ?

 

I'll ping a £10 over ..... Pay for a starter then a few others can get main and dessert

[gareth29]

What a great forum this is!

 

What I do know is that if you sort your depression out, the other things will probably fall into place.

What I have learned about it over the years is that it is due to this chemical imbalance in your brain,

(which the Prozac attempts to address). The reason the imbalance occurs in the first place can be down to the

way you think about things, your outlook on life. So what/how you think has a physical effect on your body

- if you think this is odd, it shouldnt really be a surprise!

 

You definitely need counselling/CBT, private would be better as it can start quickly - you can get counselling

on the NHS, but the waiting time can be long. In the meantime, there is a website called "Moodgym" which is

useful and free.

 

Also I know there is a great website called "Youngminds" - not sure if there is something similar for the more

mature chap, but they may be able to point you in the right direction.

 

You will get though it.

[TT350]

Let's have a whip round so to speak and pay for a nice meal out for you ?

 

I'll ping a £10 over ..... Pay for a starter then a few others can get main and dessert

 

That's really really good of you mate. Very much appreciated.

 

But my pride wouldn't allow it.

 

How about a North West BBQ sometime if the weather is ever good again!?

[nissanman312]

Josh great idea

 

Tt350 we are all here for you dude

 

Just a heads up my missus had a bad time and saw a councillor threw the doctor for free

So if you need a professional ear that's an option:)

[colesl4w]

I was listening to a podcast the other day about ASMR. Mouth noises creeped me out!

 

Hope everything work out for you dude.

 

I have been suffering in silence for the last few years and at the moment I want to keep it that way. I'm just not ready to face up to facts.

 

You have made the biggest step by admitting to yourself there is something not quite right.

 

Yeah the mouth noise ones are weird. I don't listen to those.

 

I like the hair cut ones, or massage etc. There's hundreds of role play ones.

 

How are you feeling these days bud?

 

Me?

 

Yes you . Definitely push for counselling through your GP. As others have said, it is free but there is a bit of a wait list. I think you mentioned you've used fluoxetine in the past and it's not helped much? I have recently swithced from fluox to sertraline and found it quite good. Worth a shot perhaps. Hang in there lad.

[rabbitstew]

Love this forum!

[Bodyboarder81]

Let's have a whip round so to speak and pay for a nice meal out for you ?

 

I'll ping a £10 over ..... Pay for a starter then a few others can get main and dessert

 

That's really really good of you mate. Very much appreciated.

 

But my pride wouldn't allow it.

 

How about a North West BBQ sometime if the weather is ever good again!?

 

Well get over your pride , no room for it ,and send me your name and bank details so I can at least buy you a beer / protein shake / starter

[Bockaaarck]

TT350, I just wanted to come back to you and say the following.

 

What an amazing and resilient and special and strong person you are. I'm in awe of your posts, your responses and I'm seriously impressed by your approach.

 

Clearly you are working very, very hard to accept, deal with, manage and handle your circumstances. It's obvious that you are still facing some ongoing difficult times.

 

However; the one of the most powerful things you have done is to start this thread. Air your stresses, worries, concerns, dispair, lay bare your humility. I believe I may understand some of the challenges that may have been on your plate / in your mind.

 

Coming here talking about what you're facing is a very brave, very intelligent and very powerful thing. I know you will have things in mind in terms of building and lifting yourself out of this situation.

 

Take it from me, you will do it, it will happen, you will overcome this situation. And even more amazing, Is that what you have done / are doing now.It'll be the first part of that journey to meet and beat your challenges.

 

You have friends here, please continue to come and visit.

Edited July 15, 2016 by Bockaaarck

[GMballistic]

^^ Plus one on that, ...well said Bockaaarck.

[Bodyboarder81]

There is literally no other car forum like this one . It makes me have a little hope in the human race when you realise there are some genuinely nice people still around

[TT350]

Hi guys.

 

Bit of an update.

 

Well. The relationship ended about 3 months ago now, so not long after ghis thread was started.

 

I miss her like crazy. We had a few dates to see if we could salvage the relationship but her heart just wasn't in it. She really had no interest in working through it and as we kept contact her attitude toward me just kept diminishing. Whereas once she loved me now was like I was a stranger that she disliked for some reason.

 

She said things like she still cared for me and thought about me from time to time. Funny how someone becomes so distant so quickly after being in love.

 

She's doing fine anyway. Lots of friends and family and always out and about.

 

I on the other hand have zero family and all my friends have moved on, have kids and demanding careers. So I'm very much going through this alone. She knows this and doesn't care or offer any support.

 

I have had some very, very dark days. I can't begin to describe them.

 

At the moment it's an emotional roller coaster. I have 'ok' days and bad days.

 

I've had to go to the doctors and they've reffered me to councillor and put me on anti depressants.

 

I'm trying to get on with things but the huge hole in my life really hits home the lack of people in my life.

 

Stings a bit to be 34 and completely alone.

[-G-]

 

And please learn to love yourself before you meet someone else.

 

 

This.

 

Confident & self-assured people are attractive people - people who are melancholy, needy or insecure are not. Think about the person you were when you met the last person who was keen to start a relationship with you.

 

I'll bet that person was confident, self-assured & had friends, interests & hobbies that took up a lot of thier time.

 

Confidence, happiness & contentment are attractive traits in a person for a reason, because subconsciously we are all looking for it ourselves.

 

I can't tell you what to do to get back to being the person you were when you were at your happiest, but believe me when I say that it's perfectly possible to be that person again, because you were before.

 

When depression took a hold of me, I thought it would never let go. I despised the constant heavy burden in my chest, the anxiety eating away at any notion that I'd be fine and the panic attacks that prevented me from going out to meet friends & lead any semblance of a normal life.

 

Antidepressant tranquilizers helped me sleep & focus on work while I rebuilt my confidence. Self-help books, exercise & reconnecting with old friends helped, too. Getting involved in a relationship was completely out of the question, but going on debauched holidays abroad and ploughing my way through as many one night stands as I could didn't hurt.

 

Ultimately it was 2 years before I was able to seriously contemplate a serious relationship with someone & even now, although I clearly remember the anxiety & lonliness I felt as a husk of who I was - I still shake my head at myself in disbelief at how I ended up that way in the first place.

 

Don't lose heart mate, it does get better. Promise.

[leonk]

 

 

Stings a bit to be 34 and completely alone.

 

There's only one thing worse than being alone and that's being with someone that makes you feel alone.

 

I read your post about Green laning and you seemed much more upbeat and positive and was really pleased for you. I can't help but feel that any contact you have with your ex is tipping you back into this black whole of despair. I know it's difficult but try not to have any contact whatsoever, that includes looking at old photos, asking friends about her etc. Focus on the future, as others have said, time is a healer. Get on with your life, even if it is on your own at the moment. Words are easy, I know.

 

All the best.

[monkeybrain1234]

While I have not been through depression myself, we all have good days and bad ones,

 

Key to life is focus on what YOU want out of it.

 

Write a list down of your plans for life:

1 month

6 months

1 year

5 years

10 years

20 years

 

Then start looking at ways to achieve those plans, (you are unlikely to achieve everything but that is not the point, its about focus)

 

Make changes to your day to day routine if possible, surprising how that can open a new dynamic, try keeping in contact with positive people. Maybe start a new hobby/sport, you will meet new people.

 

If your relationship has ended and she is moving on, let her go. Sorry to be harsh about it, but neither of you owe any time to one another once its ended. As others have said, no point being in a relationship going nowhere, you are better off moving on and finding the right person for you. Cut the links, remove her from FB etc.

 

A place I often find inspiration from on many things is https://www.ted.com/

 

I just typed Depression into it search, 254 talks. https://www.ted.com/...ch?q=depression

 

And this one maybe a bit controversial, but I am dead against long term use of anti depressant drugs. I only see the drugs as a plaster rather than a fix. The longer you are on them the harder it could be to re-focus. I am not a doctor so please do not take this as medical advice, this is only my personal opinion..

 

You have taken the biggest step already fella - admitting it to yourself - you are in a hole and you need to find a way out. The only way is up.

 

Good luck - P.s. We are all happy to be your friend.

Edited October 20, 2016 by monkeybrain1234

[rabbitstew]

Some good advice on this thread and its great to see so many people happy to help. I wish id been on a forum like this back when I went through something similar.

 

When I went through the same sort of thing, i found that keeping myself busy was the way forward. Id lost contact with all of my old friends and the only "friends" id had for the last few years were through my ex and so when we split I instantly lost all my friends. Fortunately I reached out to an old friend and re-ignited that friendship, and just hanging out with him and talking about things really helped. He had been through similar in the past and id helped him out, and now it was his turn. Just getting out of the house & doing something helped. It didnt take my mind off things, but it was a distraction for a bit. When I was stuck at home, id watch endless amounts of movies. They helped distract me for a couple of hours each time until I was tired enough to try and sleep.

 

One of the biggest problems I had was blaming myself for what had happened. Im not sure why as I did nothing wrong. My ex used me, then ran off back to her abusive ex boyfriend. What really bugged me is that I ended a really good long term relationship to be with my ex, (I gave in to temptation) so I blamed myself for that and blamed myself for my ex leaving me. And for me also it was the not knowing what the "real" reason was for it not working out. My ex just didnt tell me. She gave the usual "i love you so much, its me, not you, theres noone else etc.." sort of excuse which left me completely in the dark as to why. Id have been happier (to some degree) if she was just honest and said that she was going back to her ex. So blaming myself and searching for a reason as to why she left me seemed to fill all my spare time for a long time. Even now, many years later I still find myself thinking about things and have never really been able to fully let go. But time does move on and eventually things do get easier. They may never get 100% better, but they will be a lot better than they are now!

 

34 is young mate. Most of my mates were only just leaving home around that age, and most didnt get married until they hit 40.

[Zeezeebaba]

Although I've never been diagnosed as having depression I appreciate it's an issue for some people.

Yes there are times when life throws a curve ball your way and things start to weigh down on you.

Personally I can say with some certainty it's not an affliction I will ever suffer from.

My mindset is based on the knowledge that human beings gravitate mentally towards negatives over positives.A negative issue upsets the balance of your life and all positives get washed away in an instant.

The catalyst could be materialistic e.g. financial or indeed emotional like a relationship breakdown or death of a loved one.

The key for me is concentrating on the positive aspects which start with personal well being, contemplating others who are in worse scenarios and coping with them. Looking at positive aspects of my life which usually outnumber any particular negatives at any given moment.

 

If for example I'm told I have a life threatening illness (probably the most depressing scenario I can think of) and that illness gives a limited time to survive then the last thing I'm going to do is mope about something out of my control. Once your dead your dead and that for me puts depressive tendancies in a little mental box filed away in my brain as it's of no use.

 

Life is to short and to precious to waste time letting life's little annoyances get you down. Easy for me to say I appreciate that but just my own personal slant on this thoroughly informative thread.

 

[TT350]

Hi guys. Just want to thank you all for your kind words and genuinely compassionate posts.

 

Doc has whacked me on some sertraline

 

I took Fluoxetine before for years and while I was single they were fine. But having been in a relationship i can see that they improved my depression by just being numb.

 

Well at least the Z will be back on the road soon so I can come see you guys in a autumn/winter series of meets.

 

Also there is the green laning too but towards spring. Or i could Just wear thermals. So much fun to be had in offroading. I'm leaning towards a KTM 500EXC. Or a Yamaha WR450.

 

Honda XR650 would be great but are rare.

 

Watch the video and tell me it doesnt look fun!

Edited October 20, 2016 by TT350