Well, no. Does anyone actually specify the routine maintenance when they buy a car? No-one asked, I didn't volunteer. Are you ever planning to change your brake pads when they get low? Or will you ask someone to carry out a service at some point? Ooh, do you think you'll ever wash your car?!
I write these threads (and all my car threads, actually) as I enjoy it, and hopefully other people can get some kind of idea what it's like to own something different in the real world. My humble apologies if this is not to your taste.
FFS sunshine, you really are a weapons grade pillock. You don't like the car, we get it. You don't like me, fine, I get that too. You really are making yourself look an utter plank here though, and I'd wager I'm not the only one thinking it.