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Dealing with difficult colleagues


AliveBoy

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I have a colleague who is more senior than me, who recently has been giving me an almost public dressing down when her laziness causes mess ups, nothing is ever her fault and she seems to have periods of passing the buck for everything to a certain person, and then moves onto the next down the line. I'm now worried as I'm the newest member of staff, so I'm thinking that I'm going to get it until something changes, or I flip out and quit.

 

How do you more wise members deal with these things? I'm thinking of adhering to policy rigidly to wind her up, as she always wants a "quick favour" or rejecting requests she makes without fully completing the necessary forms. I've also decided that all conversations will be followed up with an email, confirming what I've just said, as a backup to myself weeks down the line, but is there anything more effective?

 

The company is quite small, so I can't try to move to a different department or anything and I like the company and the job I do, just not the laziness of one individual!

 

I sound like such a wuss! :lol:

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I've also decided that all conversations will be followed up with an email, confirming what I've just said, as a backup to myself weeks down the line

This, a million times this!

 

I do this now all the time, just because the culture of some people is to blame every one else when stuff goes wrong, so now I do it all to cover my own arse.

 

I'm guessing that having a quiet word with her superior isn't an option?

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I've also decided that all conversations will be followed up with an email, confirming what I've just said, as a backup to myself weeks down the line

This, a million times this!

 

I do this now all the time, just because the culture of some people is to blame every one else when stuff goes wrong, so now I do it all to cover my own arse.

 

I'm guessing that having a quiet word with her superior isn't an option?

 

In theory it is, but I don't think it would have any effect. Currently, being naive, I always thought a verbal conversation would be fine. I don't have anything to back myself up so it would be a one word against another arrangement.

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I'm with Dan on the email thing. It protects you but can also, by the clever use of words, be positioned as just a helpful confirmation of what you think you are going to be doing. I know this sound odd but try and keep the tone of them as friendly as possible, so that they are not so evidently the backside covering things that they actually are - and make sure you get a response back - i.e. yes that's right - objective, timescale, cost, any interim reporting required, etc, Doesn't need to be long.

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I worked for a company a couple of years ago, my superior was always doing drugs, smoking weed every night etc. She was so paranoid the next day, and always on our case, I stuck it out for a bit, but then just walked out at the end of the day, had enough.

 

That was a small 10man Direct Sales company.

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I have a colleague who is more senior than me, who recently has been giving me an almost public dressing down when her laziness causes mess ups, nothing is ever her fault and she seems to have periods of passing the buck for everything to a certain person, and then moves onto the next down the line. I'm now worried as I'm the newest member of staff, so I'm thinking that I'm going to get it until something changes, or I flip out and quit.

 

How do you more wise members deal with these things? I'm thinking of adhering to policy rigidly to wind her up, as she always wants a "quick favour" or rejecting requests she makes without fully completing the necessary forms. I've also decided that all conversations will be followed up with an email, confirming what I've just said, as a backup to myself weeks down the line, but is there anything more effective?

 

The company is quite small, so I can't try to move to a different department or anything and I like the company and the job I do, just not the laziness of one individual!

 

I sound like such a wuss! :lol:

 

How did a woman get into a more senior position than a man..... :scare:

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In theory it is, but I don't think it would have any effect. Currently, being naive, I always thought a verbal conversation would be fine. I don't have anything to back myself up so it would be a one word against another arrangement.

Tbh I probably wouldn't do it either. Can create all sorts of friction if you're the newbie.

 

I think I'd stick with keeping written accounts of everything. Even if you keep a diary alongside, so that when you feel you're being singled out unfairly you can go back to it 6 mths time and say with accuracy what actually happened. I agree with Neil in that I'd be over friendly if possible, it's very hard to be angry with someone if they're constantly being nice to you.

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I have a colleague who is more senior than me, who recently has been giving me an almost public dressing down when her laziness causes mess ups, nothing is ever her fault and she seems to have periods of passing the buck for everything to a certain person, and then moves onto the next down the line. I'm now worried as I'm the newest member of staff, so I'm thinking that I'm going to get it until something changes, or I flip out and quit.

 

How do you more wise members deal with these things? I'm thinking of adhering to policy rigidly to wind her up, as she always wants a "quick favour" or rejecting requests she makes without fully completing the necessary forms. I've also decided that all conversations will be followed up with an email, confirming what I've just said, as a backup to myself weeks down the line, but is there anything more effective?

 

The company is quite small, so I can't try to move to a different department or anything and I like the company and the job I do, just not the laziness of one individual!

 

I sound like such a wuss! :lol:

 

How did a woman get into a more senior position than a man..... :scare:

 

Age, experience, qualifications the normal ways :lol:

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I find woman (sorry to be that guy) in business can be very hard to read and unpredictable. I deal with a very strong woman with the exact Characteristics you have highlighted. You answered you own question though with regards to doing everything by the book. If they want to cut corners when it suits them then hold you by the neck when it goes wrong don’t aid them in any way. Certainly wouldn’t say quitting is the answer :thumbs:

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I good friend of mine is also having problems with their boss, many issues and all of them because he's a complete @rse.

 

But as Dan said Email documents everything for you also after a meeting I would do minutes and email them to her, this way if she can see the errors she's making it may make her think twice.

 

Build up as much of a portfolio of evodence as you can, so IF you need it down the line it's all there otherwise you could be left without a leg to stand on.

 

As a very last option, boot her in the fanny :)

Edited by flexib
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Take a look at the office phones and see if they are easy to open up. If they are, then swap the 1, 2 & 3 buttons with the 7, 8 & 9 buttons.

 

The phone won't look any different to the untrained eye as calculators are arranged this way. However, no-one but you will get a scrap of sense out of this phone

 

ever again and if you have a clever computerised exchange like we do, a lot of numbers will be interpreted as intructions to divert or redirect calls, causing

 

disruption out of all proportion to the simple act you have performed. Just one thing - if you have one of those lockets containing your blood group and other

 

emergency medical details, now is a good time to append a note recording what you've done to the phone. You never know, tomorrow you could be on the floor,

 

blue and twitching, while one of your mates is trying to get an ambulance from the speaking clock and before you know it your kidneys are living in someone else. Now, won't that be funny! :thumbs:

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As a very last option, boot her in the fanny :)

 

:lol: British or American?

 

Anway, what I was going to say also was - try and keep an open mind. In my experience people who lash out in the way you described are often under some considerable pressure at work or home themselves. It's no excuse but I would say just play a straight bat for now.

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I'm with Dan on the email thing. It protects you but can also, by the clever use of words, be positioned as just a helpful confirmation of what you think you are going to be doing. I know this sound odd but try and keep the tone of them as friendly as possible, so that they are not so evidently the backside covering things that they actually are - and make sure you get a response back - i.e. yes that's right - objective, timescale, cost, any interim reporting required, etc, Doesn't need to be long.

 

Also if she's got a brain in here head she'll realise you're all of a sudden backing everything up with an audit trail and she'll stain herself......or alternatively she'll refuse to commit to email which is always the sign of a dickhead

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As a very last option, boot her in the fanny :)

 

:lol: British or American?

 

Anway, what I was going to say also was - try and keep an open mind. In my experience people who lash out in the way you described are often under some considerable pressure at work or home themselves. It's no excuse but I would say just play a straight bat for now.

 

British of course old chap.

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I have a colleague who is more senior than me, who recently has been giving me an almost public dressing down when her laziness causes mess ups, nothing is ever her fault and she seems to have periods of passing the buck for everything to a certain person, and then moves onto the next down the line. I'm now worried as I'm the newest member of staff, so I'm thinking that I'm going to get it until something changes, or I flip out and quit.

 

How do you more wise members deal with these things? I'm thinking of adhering to policy rigidly to wind her up, as she always wants a "quick favour" or rejecting requests she makes without fully completing the necessary forms. I've also decided that all conversations will be followed up with an email, confirming what I've just said, as a backup to myself weeks down the line, but is there anything more effective?

 

The company is quite small, so I can't try to move to a different department or anything and I like the company and the job I do, just not the laziness of one individual!

 

I sound like such a wuss! :lol:

 

How did a woman get into a more senior position than a man..... :scare:

 

Age, experience, qualifications the normal ways :lol:

 

You guys work for some crazy companies.... :D

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Hide a piece of fish in her desk, and everytime she walks past start sniffing..!!

 

It will eventually stink out the whole office. :lol: :lol:

 

.........and every time she's away from her desk leave a tube of vagisil in full view of any passers by

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A part of my job involves investigating grievances and conduct cases, sometimes involving lawyers so they can be quite complicated and long running. I know this might sound a bit basic, but have tried talking to her in private about your concerns? It's surprising how often issues escalate out of all proportion because people don't communicate.

 

It might be that the culture of your organisation makes you feel that you can't approach her, but most people will respond positively if you put it in a constructive way. She might not even realise the impact she's having on you.

 

Assuming your company has a grievance policy, there's always that option, but my advice is to only go down that route as a last resort. You would need to provide evidence of your efforts to resolve the situation and specific examples of how you think she has treated you inappropriately (and the names of any witnesses). Grievances can be protracted and very stressful for everyone involved.

 

My advice - talk to her sooner rather than later.

 

 

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I will answer seriously :lol:

 

I think advice regarding getting an audit trail is the way to go, if it's over email make sure you understand your companies retention policy as that could come back to bite you or you could end up losing your evidence if they auto purge.

 

Good luck

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I will answer seriously :lol:

 

I think advice regarding getting an audit trail is the way to go, if it's over email make sure you understand your companies retention policy as that could come back to bite you or you could end up losing your evidence if they auto purge.

 

Good luck

 

I think we're in the minority on the serious replies front. I'd hate to work with some of these nutters ;)

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I will answer seriously :lol:

 

I think advice regarding getting an audit trail is the way to go, if it's over email make sure you understand your companies retention policy as that could come back to bite you or you could end up losing your evidence if they auto purge.

 

Good luck

 

I think we're in the minority on the serious replies front. I'd hate to work with some of these nutters ;)

Yeah I think I'd have to kick some of them in the fanny..... Bunch of whinging girls :lol:

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