smudgedon Posted July 14, 2013 Author Share Posted July 14, 2013 Thanks Dip Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gsexr Posted July 14, 2013 Share Posted July 14, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OV53 Posted July 14, 2013 Share Posted July 14, 2013 Mate....you're gonna be reet! All of the above decisions are difficult but are definitely for the best. Let's just hope that the path is a short one so that we can see you back on here posting about your next Zed project! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Humpy Posted July 14, 2013 Share Posted July 14, 2013 Sorry to hear this Smudge, hope everything turns out for the best! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will370z Posted July 14, 2013 Share Posted July 14, 2013 Hope it all works out for you in the end Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowhereboy Posted July 14, 2013 Share Posted July 14, 2013 Whatever happens the feeling will pass. It might not feel like it now but it will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smudgedon Posted July 14, 2013 Author Share Posted July 14, 2013 Whatever happens the feeling will pass. It might not feel like it now but it will. Not quite sure what context you're putting that into if I'm honest Essentially the 1st part of the plan has to happen here guys, the zed has to go and I have to move out of this grotty @*!# hole of a flat to better myself Whether or not she then joins my life is up to her, but things are looking good Best bit is, she always loved the Zed and wanted to get one for herself one day, so we may be back on here one day as Mr & Mrs Smudge, but she can bugger off with any purple on her car Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowhereboy Posted July 14, 2013 Share Posted July 14, 2013 Whatever happens the feeling will pass. It might not feel like it now but it will. Not quite sure what context you're putting that into if I'm honest Essentially the 1st part of the plan has to happen here guys, the zed has to go and I have to move out of this grotty @*!# hole of a flat to better myself Whether or not she then joins my life is up to her, but things are looking good Best bit is, she always loved the Zed and wanted to get one for herself one day, so we may be back on here one day as Mr & Mrs Smudge, but she can bugger off with any purple on her car I was regarding the apparent heartbreak it seems you're suffering from. Not trying to sound like a douche but you are still young! I've been heartbroken before, once when I was about your age and I thought my world was over, she was "the one" etc etc, I was a depressed mess for about a year then I finally pulled myself out of it. Now I look back and can't see what all the fuss was about, the feeling just passes in time. Good luck anyway mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smudgedon Posted July 14, 2013 Author Share Posted July 14, 2013 Appreciate it mate, always good to hear other people's experiences But essentially, we both agree on what we want now whereas we didn't before, and everyone I have spoken to recently and run this past them have been fully supportive and want us to work because they did see good in our relationship She seems to be coming round to the idea more and more every day and would be the ultimate sacrifice for her to come back here with me. Just proving how much she truly does want to be with me and I would obviously be returning that feeling to her a million times over to say thank you to her So yes I do get there there's another 4billion women to choose from, but just not for me thanks 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bounty Bar Kid Posted July 14, 2013 Share Posted July 14, 2013 You couldn't possibly have as bad a track record as mine with regards to the ladies! So things are already better, for you anyways! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Buster Posted July 14, 2013 Share Posted July 14, 2013 Jordan, follow your heart and your dream and if all works out that wonderful. If it doesnt work out at least you have tried and you can still hold your head up. Nothing ventured -nothing gained Look forward to your next Zed shed visit so I can rape more bits off your car Hugs xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smudgedon Posted July 14, 2013 Author Share Posted July 14, 2013 Thanks Net if I'm able to grab these front camber arms in time I might be back down for a 3rd successive weekend if Chris will have me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
14N Posted July 15, 2013 Share Posted July 15, 2013 Good luck with everything Jordan, hope it all works out as you hope mate. Even if your car doesn't stay within the forum, all the bits you've stripped off it probably will Cheers for the splash guards and for the passenger ride round Castle Combe - even though we didn't get to complete the whole session Take care dude, don't be a stranger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GT Driver Posted July 15, 2013 Share Posted July 15, 2013 Can't be the easiest decision to sell your beauty of a Zed. I read your previous thread where you first discussed the lady and Canada. Best of luck and give us a wave when your flying over Dublin on the way to Canada. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spursmaddave Posted July 15, 2013 Share Posted July 15, 2013 After we have all given advice will this thread get deleted Good luck with everything, just remember one thing, you can't change people, if she left once she could leave again, maybe best it happened before you had kids etc.... You are young, everyone thinks they will never find someone as perfect as their 'soul mate' but it happens and you will, but if you go for it then all the best 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetpilot Posted July 15, 2013 Share Posted July 15, 2013 I am not sure if the mention of depression was medically diagnosed or you have come to that conclusion yourself, i dont mean that to sound condescending. I was diagnosed with depression last year at 42, first time in my life with no previous history, i am a very happy go lucky character usually, hence it was a very alien concept to me! No one thing had bought this on, maybe just a culmination of things over a couple of years. I was given options, drugs, counselling etc but decided to try and do it without drugs and just the support of family and friends. My life was/is good, just there was something there i couldnt shake and no matter how much i knew my life was ok, although things could be better of course, i just couldnt feel happy, even though i desperately wanted too. It was a massive eye opening experience. I mention all this with a caveat to what i have read on your post buddy. Under no circumstances put your future happiness/well being in the hands of someone else. You MUST be happy with yourself before you can offer anyone else a future imho. I wont express my personal views on your partner (ex or not) as you probably wouldnt want to hear it. Get YOURSELF happy buddy and when you are happy you will always know you can be happy with or without anyone else 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowhereboy Posted July 15, 2013 Share Posted July 15, 2013 (edited) I agree with that guy ^. I had Depression and OCD which stemmed from some things I used to get up to with my old band. Lets just say I partied pretty hard for a pretty long time and it burnt me out. It changed my life completely and now that I'm out of it I really appreciate the simple things in life a lot more. My drummer's girlfriend moved abroad and lasted 2 weeks before she came home because she couldn't bare to be away from him. If she loves you she will be back, if not, its time to move on and f*cking swiftly Edited July 15, 2013 by nowhereboy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smudgedon Posted July 21, 2013 Author Share Posted July 21, 2013 Just want to say thank you for all the well wishes and kind words over the past week Unfortunately, my plan to go to Canada falls down on 2 levels. My health issues mean that my visa application wouldn't even be considered and the fact that the Mrs says she doesn't want us both to be in the @*!# in a couple of years if both our temporary visas expired The worst news however is that she's not willing to come home I have beared my inner most to her over the past couple of weeks, giving her every conceivable option and promise to ensure she would have a safe return to the UK in order to live our lives together. She has decided to stay where she is which really does break my heart, to the point where some very disgusting and disturbing thoughts have been going through my mind over the past few days The plan with the car and the flat remains, those are my priorities now. I pray that she one day realises what she means to me and plans to come home Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Onwards and upwards mate, onwards and upwards. However much it hurts right now, there will be others I can promise you that, and one day you'll look back at this and wonder just why you felt quite so bad. Doesn't feel like it now, but it will happen. You're not the first bloke to feel that there's not much point without X woman by your side, you won't be the last, but all of us are better people for having been through it and moved on. Go out for a blat in the car, clear your mind, and remember all the good times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smudgedon Posted July 21, 2013 Author Share Posted July 21, 2013 Ye thanks Dan, already been out for a drive this morning Got some go-karting with the lads tonight, that should cheer me up As you say, right now it doesn't make sense how someone can turn around and say no to you after pouring ya heart out to them, but that's women I suppose? meh, moving on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Good stuff, keeping busy is the way forward Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bockaaarck Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 (edited) Dan, sorry to hear how things have turned out, however that's just how life goes sometimes. Not much of a consolation I know, but it's true. I would echo Jetpilots comments and thoughts. Nobody, and I mean not a single person or group of people, has the right or power to determine your happiness other than you! I know that may seem very hard to appreciate and take advantage of, but again, it's true. If you cast a vote against your own happiness then you've made it a majority of one, and that doesn't make sense. The best thing is however that you can make the decision to 'vote yourself happy'. Or at least you can cast that vote and then, like someone working away on a building project or starting a round the world sailing trip. You plan out a foundation, or cast off with a compass and chart and your new journey and new opportunities will begin to realise themselves. Many years ago I came close to killing myself a couple of times. Eventually what stopped me from doing that was realising I held the casting vote in my hand and that if I put it in one ballot box then those things tormenting me had won, there was no recount, the deciding vote would have been cast. I put the vote in the other ballot box, and at the time the only reason I did it was because I knew it would annoy and enrage those things / those people tormenting me. I would still be around, I would still exist and not only that, I had cast the winning vote myself. I had outwitted and beaten them, I can tell you at the time it was the sweetest victory. Now I look back on that and marvel at the inner strength we all have. Based on that decision I have a life I might never experienced, and despite my medical condition, my aches and pains, family frailties and work challenges. I am extremely grateful and thankful every single day for those who are now nearest and dearest to me. So the election campaign has been underway for a while by the sounds of it Dan. There's all sorts of leaflets, banners, broadcasts, speeches etc going on and it's a bit confusing and somewhat overwhelming. Well they may not be able to deliver everything to you next week, next month or even next year and it might not always be an easy journey and you may need to make a few sacrifices along the way. However, in my experience, voting 'happy' has turned out alright in my constituency. It's not perfect, they never promised that, but it's turned out a damn site better than a voting for the other lot. Jeeze, just imagine the mess they'd have made! Edited July 21, 2013 by Bockaaarck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldel Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Good post Bock. Hadn't seen this thread till now - hope all works out mate - I have had a similar experience over the last year or so in certain areas of my life, I was losing jobs and having financial problems (which meant selling the Zed), having other people tell me I can't do this and that and allowing them to control how I felt and also what I believed I could achieve. Certainly in a better place now, but more importantly, feel a stronger and better person for the experience because I have discovered how to deal with it my way. The light is always there at the end of the tunnel mate 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spursmaddave Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 (edited) Time to move on, you have given it your best shot, let her know exactly how you feel and you can't do anymore than that. Most of us have been there, I certainly have more than once I can tell you, please don't think this situation or feelings is unique to you because they are not, and we are all still here. The best (and also worst to hear) advice is that time is the greatest healer.... One of the biggest problems I had is that if you feel sorry for yourself then you project that image and you won't meet anyone which then makes you think you were right and the circle continues. There must be something good in your life you can focus on, a friend or a passtime anything just try to get this woman out of your head and stop thinking this was your one and only ever chance if happiness because it wasn't trust me. Try to resist the temptation to keep in touch just in case she changes her mind, just let her know that if she does she knows how to contact you and leave it at that. Use this experience to make you a better person Edited July 21, 2013 by spursmaddave 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetpilot Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Please, please, please buddy, give this girl no more time or energy. You have said yourself you do not understand how she can be like this knowing how you feel, so hopefully that should give you the answer to how much she feels for you (sorry to be harsh). The more you keep in contact and delve into it the longer it will take for the pain to ease and it will present more questions to torment you which you will never know the answer too and it will take longer to move on. You will be very surprised how quickly that raw feeling goes if you have NO CONTACT, even if she tries to contacts you, ignore it. Drive down the road in your 350 and keep looking in the rear view mirror, you may be lucky and just miss whatever is in front of you, or you may crash and it will hurt. Look out the windscreen however and you will see everything I hope you get the analogy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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