ironhide Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 Seriously I just logged on at lunch to get my daily dosage of Z news and banter only to find some obscure thread about a bunch of middle aged blokes shaving their bollocks and using Dove moisturiser. This needs balancing so this is a new thread to list the things that define a man, and how we should aspire to be more like Chuck Norris. I'll start. 1) I coat my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wasso Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iwantone Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 I blow my tyres up with my mouth.... Not sent from my iPhone, 'cos I've not got one! Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stew Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrustyCrab Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The G Man Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! 7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hennerz Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! 7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste! 8) I eat my dinner with a pitch fork and machete. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wasso Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! 7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste! 8) I eat my dinner with a pitch fork and machete. 9) My cat has been trained to be the local drug dealer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stew Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! 7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste! 8) I eat my dinner with a pitch fork and machete. 9) My cat has been trained to be the local drug dealer 10) I drive a pick up truck. The manliest vehicle in the known universe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KC350Z Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! 7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste! 8) I eat my dinner with a pitch fork and machete. 9) My cat has been trained to be the local drug dealer 10) I drive a pick up truck. The manliest vehicle in the known universe. 11}I am ians cats best customer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KC350Z Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! 7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste! 8) I eat my dinner with a pitch fork and machete. 9) My cat has been trained to be the local drug dealer 10) I drive a pick up truck. The manliest vehicle in the known universe. 11}I am ians cats best customer : Helps me think spending money on the z is good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bakes100 Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! 7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste! 8) I eat my dinner with a pitch fork and machete. 9) My cat has been trained to be the local drug dealer 10) I drive a pick up truck. The manliest vehicle in the known universe 11}I am ians cats best customer 12) When servicing my car I don't use ramps, I hold my car up with my knees Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stew Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! 7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste! 8) I eat my dinner with a pitch fork and machete. 9) My cat has been trained to be the local drug dealer 10) I drive a pick up truck. The manliest vehicle in the known universe 11}I am ians cats best customer 12) When servicing my car I don't use ramps, I hold my car up with my knees 13) I wear barbed wire instead of socks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KC350Z Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! 7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste! 8) I eat my dinner with a pitch fork and machete. 9) My cat has been trained to be the local drug dealer 10) I drive a pick up truck. The manliest vehicle in the known universe 11}I am ians cats best customer 12) When servicing my car I don't use ramps, I hold my car up with my knees 13) I wear barbed wire instead of socks 14}I brush my teeth with a wire brush Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stew Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! 7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste! 8) I eat my dinner with a pitch fork and machete. 9) My cat has been trained to be the local drug dealer 10) I drive a pick up truck. The manliest vehicle in the known universe 11) I am ians cats best customer 12) When servicing my car I don't use ramps, I hold my car up with my knees 13) I wear barbed wire instead of socks 14) I brush my teeth with a wire brush 15) I drink sand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sasha@lazytrips Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! 7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste! 8) I eat my dinner with a pitch fork and machete. 9) My cat has been trained to be the local drug dealer 10) I drive a pick up truck. The manliest vehicle in the known universe 11) I am ians cats best customer 12) When servicing my car I don't use ramps, I hold my car up with my knees 13) I wear barbed wire instead of socks 14) I brush my teeth with a wire brush 15) I drink sand 16) I can do 0-60 in 2.5 seconds. That's twice as fast as my car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watshot Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! 7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste! 8) I eat my dinner with a pitch fork and machete. 9) My cat has been trained to be the local drug dealer 10) I drive a pick up truck. The manliest vehicle in the known universe 11) I am ians cats best customer 12) When servicing my car I don't use ramps, I hold my car up with my knees 13) I wear barbed wire instead of socks 14) I brush my teeth with a wire brush 15) I drink sand 16) I can do 0-60 in 2.5 seconds. That's twice as fast as my car. 17) I used hair straighteners to smash my teeth out when I got bored cleaning them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricey Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! 7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste! 8) I eat my dinner with a pitch fork and machete. 9) My cat has been trained to be the local drug dealer 10) I drive a pick up truck. The manliest vehicle in the known universe 11) I am ians cats best customer 12) When servicing my car I don't use ramps, I hold my car up with my knees 13) I wear barbed wire instead of socks 14) I brush my teeth with a wire brush 15) I drink sand 16) I can do 0-60 in 2.5 seconds. That's twice as fast as my car. 17) I used hair straighteners to smash my teeth out when I got bored cleaning them. 18) when I cook tea I often cut my own finger off as a snack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeroy Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! 7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste! 8) I eat my dinner with a pitch fork and machete. 9) My cat has been trained to be the local drug dealer 10) I drive a pick up truck. The manliest vehicle in the known universe 11) I am ians cats best customer 12) When servicing my car I don't use ramps, I hold my car up with my knees 13) I wear barbed wire instead of socks 14) I brush my teeth with a wire brush 15) I drink sand 16) I can do 0-60 in 2.5 seconds. That's twice as fast as my car. 17) I used hair straighteners to smash my teeth out when I got bored cleaning them. 18) when I cook tea I often cut my own finger off as a snack. 19) I ate Ian's cat because it gives short measures Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manphibian Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! 7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste! 8) I eat my dinner with a pitch fork and machete. 9) My cat has been trained to be the local drug dealer 10) I drive a pick up truck. The manliest vehicle in the known universe 11) I am ians cats best customer 12) When servicing my car I don't use ramps, I hold my car up with my knees 13) I wear barbed wire instead of socks 14) I brush my teeth with a wire brush 15) I drink sand 16) I can do 0-60 in 2.5 seconds. That's twice as fast as my car. 17) I used hair straighteners to smash my teeth out when I got bored cleaning them. 18) when I cook tea I often cut my own finger off as a snack. 19) I ate Ian's cat because it gives short measures 20) I use sandpaper condoms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
racinggreen Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! 7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste! 8) I eat my dinner with a pitch fork and machete. 9) My cat has been trained to be the local drug dealer 10) I drive a pick up truck. The manliest vehicle in the known universe 11) I am ians cats best customer 12) When servicing my car I don't use ramps, I hold my car up with my knees 13) I wear barbed wire instead of socks 14) I brush my teeth with a wire brush 15) I drink sand 16) I can do 0-60 in 2.5 seconds. That's twice as fast as my car. 17) I used hair straighteners to smash my teeth out when I got bored cleaning them. 18) when I cook tea I often cut my own finger off as a snack. 19) I ate Ian's cat because it gives short measures 20) I use sandpaper condoms. 21) I do my own electrical work - stripping wires with my teeth - and leave the supply on whilst doing it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyBoy Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! 7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste! 8) I eat my dinner with a pitch fork and machete. 9) My cat has been trained to be the local drug dealer 10) I drive a pick up truck. The manliest vehicle in the known universe 11) I am ians cats best customer 12) When servicing my car I don't use ramps, I hold my car up with my knees 13) I wear barbed wire instead of socks 14) I brush my teeth with a wire brush 15) I drink sand 16) I can do 0-60 in 2.5 seconds. That's twice as fast as my car. 17) I used hair straighteners to smash my teeth out when I got bored cleaning them. 18) when I cook tea I often cut my own finger off as a snack. 19) I ate Ian's cat because it gives short measures 20) I use sandpaper condoms. 21) I do my own electrical work - stripping wires with my teeth - and leave the supply on whilst doing it. 22) When I do push-ups my body stays still and the earth moves up and down Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoshThePonce Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! 7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste! 8) I eat my dinner with a pitch fork and machete. 9) My cat has been trained to be the local drug dealer 10) I drive a pick up truck. The manliest vehicle in the known universe 11) I am ians cats best customer 12) When servicing my car I don't use ramps, I hold my car up with my knees 13) I wear barbed wire instead of socks 14) I brush my teeth with a wire brush 15) I drink sand 16) I can do 0-60 in 2.5 seconds. That's twice as fast as my car. 17) I used hair straighteners to smash my teeth out when I got bored cleaning them. 18) when I cook tea I often cut my own finger off as a snack. 19) I ate Ian's cat because it gives short measures 20) I use sandpaper condoms. 21) I do my own electrical work - stripping wires with my teeth - and leave the supply on whilst doing it. 22) When I do push-ups my body stays still and the earth moves up and down 23) I pop into fine haberdasheries and say "Your hats are less than exceptional." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allan Zada Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 1) I cost my cornflakes every morning with lead filings and 99Ron fuel. 2) I cut the grass by pouring petrol over it and setting fire! 3) I chew on wild rabbits as a snack. 4) I blow my tyres up with my mouth. 5) I shave with a bowie knife. 6) I changed my oil and used my teeth to get the sup plug off! 7) I too changed my oil and drank the waste! 8) I eat my dinner with a pitch fork and machete. 9) My cat has been trained to be the local drug dealer 10) I drive a pick up truck. The manliest vehicle in the known universe 11) I am ians cats best customer 12) When servicing my car I don't use ramps, I hold my car up with my knees 13) I wear barbed wire instead of socks 14) I brush my teeth with a wire brush 15) I drink sand 16) I can do 0-60 in 2.5 seconds. That's twice as fast as my car. 17) I used hair straighteners to smash my teeth out when I got bored cleaning them. 18) when I cook tea I often cut my own finger off as a snack. 19) I ate Ian's cat because it gives short measures 20) I use sandpaper condoms. 21) I do my own electrical work - stripping wires with my teeth - and leave the supply on whilst doing it. 22) When I do push-ups my body stays still and the earth moves up and down 23) I pop into fine haberdasheries and say "Your hats are less than exceptional." 24) I got into a knife fight. The knife lost Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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