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Cheap (read dodgy) fixes


jowen7448

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When I was 17, I had a bit of a stupid (understatement!) moment...

 

I bought a new drivers seat for my Audi A4, but I didn't have enough room in the car to put it in, so I took out the drivers seat and drove to collect it sat on a bucket. Got pulled over by the police about a mile from home and the officer was a mixture of bemused and furious. My passenger walked home, tied my old drivers seat on to the roof of his micra and drove it back to me. The officer then watched us fit the seat and let us carry on with nothing but a strong word of advice. During my 40 minute dressing down some of the questions I had to answer were:

 

1) Why didn't I take the passenger seat out instead - I didn't want to hurt my friend if we crashed (obviously not thinking how we were a billionty times more likely to crash with me perched on an upturned bucket!)

2) Why didn't I just put the seat on the roof of the micra in the first place - it was a seat for an audi, so we naturally thought to take the audi (pure idiotness!)

3) Why we thought driving three miles sat on a bucket was a good idea in the first place (it wasn't!)

4) Did I really think that a seat belt would do anything if I became a projectile inside the car (it wouldn't!)

 

He didn't prohibit the vehicle from use as I fixed the defect there and then, but I did get a few "random" stop and searches for a couple of months :lol:

 

Let's just say, lesson well and truly learned :lol:

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When I was 17, I had a bit of a stupid (understatement!) moment...

 

I bought a new drivers seat for my Audi A4, but I didn't have enough room in the car to put it in, so I took out the drivers seat and drove to collect it sat on a bucket. Got pulled over by the police about a mile from home and the officer was a mixture of bemused and furious. My passenger walked home, tied my old drivers seat on to the roof of his micra and drove it back to me. The officer then watched us fit the seat and let us carry on with nothing but a strong word of advice. During my 40 minute dressing down some of the questions I had to answer were:

 

1) Why didn't I take the passenger seat out instead - I didn't want to hurt my friend if we crashed (obviously not thinking how we were a billionty times more likely to crash with me perched on an upturned bucket!)

2) Why didn't I just put the seat on the roof of the micra in the first place - it was a seat for an audi, so we naturally thought to take the audi (pure idiotness!)

3) Why we thought driving three miles sat on a bucket was a good idea in the first place (it wasn't!)

4) Did I really think that a seat belt would do anything if I became a projectile inside the car (it wouldn't!)

 

He didn't prohibit the vehicle from use as I fixed the defect there and then, but I did get a few "random" stop and searches for a couple of months :lol:

 

Let's just say, lesson well and truly learned :lol:

 

The thing that's getting me here is does an A4 not have rear seats? Could your passenger not have sat there while you removed the front passenger seat? Still good story :)

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When I was 17, I had a bit of a stupid (understatement!) moment...

 

I bought a new drivers seat for my Audi A4, but I didn't have enough room in the car to put it in, so I took out the drivers seat and drove to collect it sat on a bucket. Got pulled over by the police about a mile from home and the officer was a mixture of bemused and furious. My passenger walked home, tied my old drivers seat on to the roof of his micra and drove it back to me. The officer then watched us fit the seat and let us carry on with nothing but a strong word of advice. During my 40 minute dressing down some of the questions I had to answer were:

 

1) Why didn't I take the passenger seat out instead - I didn't want to hurt my friend if we crashed (obviously not thinking how we were a billionty times more likely to crash with me perched on an upturned bucket!)

2) Why didn't I just put the seat on the roof of the micra in the first place - it was a seat for an audi, so we naturally thought to take the audi (pure idiotness!)

3) Why we thought driving three miles sat on a bucket was a good idea in the first place (it wasn't!)

4) Did I really think that a seat belt would do anything if I became a projectile inside the car (it wouldn't!)

 

He didn't prohibit the vehicle from use as I fixed the defect there and then, but I did get a few "random" stop and searches for a couple of months :lol:

 

Let's just say, lesson well and truly learned :lol:

 

The thing that's getting me here is does an A4 not have rear seats? Could your passenger not have sat there while you removed the front passenger seat? Still good story :)

 

That was an option, had I not taken the rears out... I told everyone it was to make it faster, it was actually because the sunroof had broken and had jammed open for a month or so. The rear seats never dried out properly so I binned them as they stank, it was actually the reason I'd bought a new drivers one. Annoyingly the passenger one dried out just fine!

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When I was 17, I had a bit of a stupid (understatement!) moment...

 

I bought a new drivers seat for my Audi A4, but I didn't have enough room in the car to put it in, so I took out the drivers seat and drove to collect it sat on a bucket. Got pulled over by the police about a mile from home and the officer was a mixture of bemused and furious. My passenger walked home, tied my old drivers seat on to the roof of his micra and drove it back to me. The officer then watched us fit the seat and let us carry on with nothing but a strong word of advice. During my 40 minute dressing down some of the questions I had to answer were:

 

1) Why didn't I take the passenger seat out instead - I didn't want to hurt my friend if we crashed (obviously not thinking how we were a billionty times more likely to crash with me perched on an upturned bucket!)

2) Why didn't I just put the seat on the roof of the micra in the first place - it was a seat for an audi, so we naturally thought to take the audi (pure idiotness!)

3) Why we thought driving three miles sat on a bucket was a good idea in the first place (it wasn't!)

4) Did I really think that a seat belt would do anything if I became a projectile inside the car (it wouldn't!)

 

He didn't prohibit the vehicle from use as I fixed the defect there and then, but I did get a few "random" stop and searches for a couple of months :lol:

 

Let's just say, lesson well and truly learned :lol:

 

The thing that's getting me here is does an A4 not have rear seats? Could your passenger not have sat there while you removed the front passenger seat? Still good story :)

 

Thats totally mad. I remember buying an entire interior for my mini - i just drove there in the mini, loaded the new interior onto the backseat / passengers seat & a few bits in the boot, then drove home. Audi A4 has a back seat, so could easily stick new drivers seat on that. But, when your young sometimes we dont think it out! Would love to have seen the old bills face at you sitting on a bucket :lol:

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Basically we were being cocky teenagers. We interpreted the rules as, so long as I had a seat belt on, we were OK. Apparently there's a whole book on "construction and use" that does indeed mention the need for seats!

 

We were idiots and luckily didn't suffer for doing so. Lesson well and truly learned after that :lol:

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Another corker was my mate bought a modified golf, he said it needed a couple of things fixing but nothing bad. Went for a spin and the door fell off!

 

That was a great laugh but sadly wasn't the only issue, what a duff car!

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Can always remember trying to make my Ford Fiesta quadraphonic. It had 2 rear speakers fitted in the rear quarter panels, and wanted to add some sound to the front, so stupidly bought some rear speaker pods for ease and self tapered them through the hardboard side foot well. Every time somebody got in they kicked them off, to such an extent the holes grew so big everytime somebody got in and shut the door, they would end up with the pod on their feet. My Excuse ... I was young naive :lol:

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I was mega annoyed at myself when the AX died. I had gotten hold of some speakers that were worth far more than the car (to be fair most speakers were by this point). When I had it towed to the garage to be read it's last rights, in the emotion at the loss of my first car I completely forgot about removing the speakers. Only remembered a couple of months later when I found the stock ones in a cupboard.

 

My only other speaker related story is more my dads story than mine but I was there so it counts. Sat in a van at services on the way back from some music event my dad had been working at. Group of chavs roll up next to us with music blaring thinking they are all that with their tiny little speakers in the parcel shelf. My dad just cooly, but pointedly opens the rear doors of the van to reveal a speaker of similar dimensions to the door opening, (two filled the whole van). The look on the chavs faces as they realised was pretty funny. Obviously there was no way a transit could power these behemoths but they were pretty impressed and it was quite amusing. They ended up being ok blokes (disagreement on music choice and clothing choice to one side) and we had a bit of a laugh and chat about car stereos etc.

 

Edit: PS loving these stories :) good to know that lots of people are equally stupid at that age. I find that reassuring :)

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Once, driving behind a young lad in a Fiat Stilo with a back box a train would think was a tunnel, i followed him to a round-about with quite a heavy camber. He went straight, cutting over to the lane to turn right, which resulted in his back box hitting the tarmac due to the severe camber and ripped it right off!! i came to a stop and before i could get out of my car to help him, a kind old lady who had seen what happened, came out of her house and picked up the back box!!! But not for long as the volcanic heat of the metal barbecued her digits like chipolatas she screamed bloody Mary and dropped it. I was almost crying.

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a kind old lady who had seen what happened, came out of her house and picked up the back box!!! But not for long as the volcanic heat of the metal barbecued her digits like chipolatas she screamed bloody Mary and dropped it. I was almost crying.

 

I just spurted my tea all over my laptop. :lol: Thats hilarious, but the poor old biddy! :lol:

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on my old 300zx one of the previous owners had held the front bumper on with a bit of 2x4 and a self tapping screw straight into one of the intercoolers :wacko:

 

During my 3 years of Z32 ownership this doesn't surprise me!

 

Best bodge I found on mine was budweiser cans cut up and wrapped around multiple exhaust holes and covered in gun gum.

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My first car was a 1983 Ford Escort 1.3... it was over 15 years old when I bought it but had only done 30k and was MINT... in hindsight, I should've sold it to a museum.

 

The ONLY problem with the car was that (I guess due to lack of use) at some point the battery had leaked... this had corroded the battery tray, and worked its magic on the bulkhead/firewall, meaning chunks of rusty metal would periodically drop onto my passenger's shoes.

Knowing NOTHING about automotive legislation and MOTs, I thought I should fix it myself... with the only material I had to hand, that I knew how to use... fibreglass! So I cut out all the rusty bulkhead/firewall with an angle grinder, and rebuilt it with fibreglass... I even painted it the correct OE colour (red-ish orange-ish colour)

In my defence, I did a stunning job... my failing though was that, with time in the day running out, I simply plonked the battery on the still-damp fibreglass, pushed it down a little to create a tray, and then essentially fibreglassed the battery to the new fibreglass bulkhead.

When it came to MOT time, obviously it failed... not sure what the exact terms were, but the mechanics thought it very funny. They did go on to say though that I had done a great job, and that if I had just gone and bought an OE battery tray, mounted that to the fibreglass bulkhead then fitted the battery to the tray, they would never have discovered my momentous bodge.

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Years and years ago, I had an old Fiat X1/9 that I "inherited" from my sister. It was on an old T plate and, frankly, had seen better days...

 

One day, the exhaust decided to give up the ghost. As these were mid-engined, the exhaust was basically just a backbox with a pipe attaching it to the manifold. This one had a big hole in the corner, and I couldn't afford to get a replacement...

 

...so I used to pack it full of newspaper, which would quieten it down nicely for a handful of miles. It was only when the police pulled me for the ash and flames blowing from the rear of the car that I realised that newspaper is, in fact, combustible! :lol:

 

I ended up having to fork out for a Janspeed replacement in the end. The X1/9 got it's own back by failing it's MOT less than a week later...

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I could see the road going by if I looked down into the footwell of an old mk2 1.4s fiesta I had (great little cars and uber rare now I think), nothing a bit of gaffer tape didnt sort out though.

 

Ahhh gaffer tape. I wondered how long it would take for this to arrive as a solution to something.

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Going back to the days when I had my scooter I managed a rather strange and probably quite dangerous fix to get me home. Lambrettas had a nasty habit of snapping the throttle cable and it always occurred at the handlebar end. So I pulled the broken cable through the outer cable from the engine end and wrapped the broken end around my hand :lol: . Of course, it meant that it was either full throttle or off, not for the faint hearted.

 

Pete

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Going back to the days when I had my scooter I managed a rather strange and probably quite dangerous fix to get me home. Lambrettas had a nasty habit of snapping the throttle cable and it always occurred at the handlebar end. So I pulled the broken cable through the outer cable from the engine end and wrapped the broken end around my hand :lol: . Of course, it meant that it was either full throttle or off, not for the faint hearted.

 

Pete

 

Imagine if you fell off :scare: :scare: Would have literally cut your hand off :lol:

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Not so much a fix but when me and my mates had our first cars, car audio was very expensive, the only thing we had was ghettoblasters with detachable speakers, so ghettoblaster in the boot (they were big), wires round the pillars and house speakers on the rear shelf :)

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Not so much a fix but when me and my mates had our first cars, car audio was very expensive, the only thing we had was ghettoblasters with detachable speakers, so ghettoblaster in the boot (they were big), wires round the pillars and house speakers on the rear shelf :)

 

I did that. Was okay until you did an emergancy stop and the speaker flew forwards with such force it nearly took your passengers head off - or if they ducked would go through your windscreen. :lol:

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