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Why oh why, weddings


Flex

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all good tips, keep them coming! since we're just starting to plan our wedding now. only looking at basic stuff at the moment, ie dates, venues, invite list.

 

If you PM me your email I can send you what we did, I put it all together for a friend the other day. Was France, for a week and wasnt overly cheap but it will give you something to think about :)

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We got married on 7 October and we had 28 guests. Immediate family and closest friends only. Everyone that really matters. We then had another 20 people at night. All planned in 6 months over and done with. The day was brilliant, nice intimate do that didn't cost he earth. We just told other people that we were keeping costs down and sorry but it's family only. If they didn't like it then tough titty.

 

 

While we're here, wedding favours.

 

 

No. Just no.

 

 

I'm paying for you to have a full slap-up meal, and the drinks too. No way I'm shelling out a bunch of cash on pointless little bags of pretty stuff that you're only going to throw away or leave behind.

 

We donated to cancer research, got a load of cancer research badges, and put them in a little favour box along with a Lindor, and a message saying that a donation had been made on the guests behalf.

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Right, let me put into words exactly how easy this is:

 

 

Find venue that does ceremony & reception all in one. Use their caterer, pick meals.

Pick best man. Delegate stag do. You just need to be told when to turn up.

Decide on guest list. Don't think about who would be offended if they didn't get an invite, think about whether you'd give that person £50 for a meal out: Essentially, that's what you're doing.

Let bride organise invites. You're not getting one, so it doesn't matter what they look like.

Go to Next one Saturday with appropriate people (BM, FotG, FotB, etc). Pick a suit. Pick matching ties/cravats/bow ties (latter is only for the most awesome men).

Give bride budget for dresses. Send her out one weekend to choose. ONE WEEKEND ONLY.

Get local person to do cake/s. Cupcakes are easy, cheaper, and taste better.

Use venue florist. Stick with simple cheap stuff: This kind of stuff really doesn't matter, so let bride choose.

Choose honeymoon if you want. PROTIP: Spend more on the honeymoon than the wedding. The wedding day isn't that much fun, the honeymoon bloody well should be.

Pick photographer. Get a recommendation. Decide beforehand if you want new-wave fancy or old-school traditional.

Pick rings.

Turn up. Get married. Never have sex again.

 

 

 

Seriously, there's nothing to it. If you try and organise it to the nth degree then yeah, you're going to make life difficult for yourself. You're going to be spending a f*ckton of cash anyway, so let other people do the hard work. ;)

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Since it's only you boys commenting on this thread I thought I'd offer an opinion from the fairer sex.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I can't stand weddings either and DREAD the thought of one of my own :/ got no problem with the idea of marriage, it's just the 'big day' itself that leaves me cold. And I'm of a more extrovert nature too. There's a lot to be said for a Vegas wedding!

 

Seriously though I hope you guys sort it and end up having a lovely day :) As someone else on here has said it's not too late to cancel and re-arrange so bear that in mind if it's all getting too much for you.

 

S.

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Give bride budget for dresses. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Send her out one weekend to choose. ONE WEEKEND ONLY. :lol:

 

 

Turn up. Get married. Never have sex again. :blush::wacko::surrender:

 

see above smilies :wacko:

Edited by ioneabee
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Absolutely loving the men's wedding chat! I got married in Barbados it was crap. The divorce in the UK was much better! :lol: if I ever do it again it's vegas and an Elvis! Sod everyone else. And I'm never changing my name again. What a hassle! Changing it back was even worse. And why does she only get half if you get hit by a bus? Just being nosey! :lol: anyway congrats I'm sure it will be a day to remember!

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Since it's only you boys commenting on this thread I thought I'd offer an opinion from the fairer sex.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I can't stand weddings either and DREAD the thought of one of my own :/ got no problem with the idea of marriage, it's just the 'big day' itself that leaves me cold. And I'm of a more extrovert nature too. There's a lot to be said for a Vegas wedding!

 

Seriously though I hope you guys sort it and end up having a lovely day :) As someone else on here has said it's not too late to cancel and re-arrange so bear that in mind if it's all getting too much for you.

 

S.

it is too late to rearrange, its in 2 weeks! I can't pull another boat load of cash out of the bag to fund another venue. Anyway all will be good, it's just all the BS between now and the day.
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I know this all too well!!

 

Me and the Mrs were planning the big white wedding. Found an amazing stately home with a chapel on site........invoices started racking up, venue costs alone were creeping over £25k even before flowers, dresses, wedding cars, honey moons, wedding cakes, etc etc etc. We were easily looking at circa £40k or so.

 

Then I had a big falling out with my Mother. Caused a massive amount of stress, her saying she wasn't going on my Wifes hen doo, wouldn't sit next to certain people at the wedding, telling other family members that I'd slagged them off so they wouldn't come, then she wasn't coming, then she was coming but was going to cause a fuss with family members who'd had a go at her for what she was doing etc etc.

 

You would not believe the stress. I'd booked a surprise trip to Vegas for five days, to see George Michael. A few days after revealing the surprise trip, the Mrs said "Shall we get married there!?!!?" So I thought, **** it!!, I'm not spending £40k on a single day for any single person to ruin it for me, even my mother.

 

So we cancelled the whole thing, much to my Wife's parents dismay and went from a wedding of 220 guests to just two; me and my Wife. No friends, no family, just us getting married in the little white chapel in Vegas.

 

After making the decision, three days before we left, we also found out that Laura was pregnant with our first child!!!

 

Wedding002-1.jpg

 

Best thing I ever did! :)

Edited by Sarnie
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We were very lucky with our wedding, I think mainly because we're both chilled out. We made a decision straight away that we would listen to the thoughts and advice and ideas of others.......then basically do what we wanted and if they didn't like it they didn't have to come :lol: .

 

Neither of us wanted a big fancy wedding or to spend 18 hours dressed up, feeling uncomfortable. The most important thing to us was the fact we were recognising we wanted to share the rest of our lives together.

 

We fluked our wedding venue by being cheeky. Popped down the road in to the Roman Baths and asked if we could get married there. Baths: "Yes, but you need to be here at 8:00 am, have the ceremony, and the be out by 9:30 before we one to the public".

 

Me:"What about in the evening after you close to the public?....there'd be nobody here then, we'd have the place to ourselves, no?". Baths: Mmm, we've never done that before, never in the evening...but yes, that's a good idea, you'd have free reign then, have the ceremony, the wedding 'breakfast' (dinner) and everything through the evening, we could do that : ) "

 

Booked and paid for (surprisingly cheap!), guests turn up at 6pm, humanist ceremony at 6:30. Married around the main bath, just us and 70 guests (which made things easy, no hangers on). Photo's done, champagne open, lovely dinner overlooking the main bath, speeches, laughter, more champagne, cake, cigars, Bee Gee's, more booze, more Bee Gee's etc. Whole thing was about 6 hours in total, perfect........very happy, very chilled out for us both, still happy now :)

 

image.jpg

 

image-1.jpg

 

image-2.jpg

Edited by Bockaaarck
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Your wedding day should done how you both want it, not influenced by any one else, if you don't like something then either change to or don't do it.

 

We had a family only service at a registry office then an amazing meal at a pub down the road. They made a private area for us, food and service was spot on. Could not have asked for more. We then had a Hog roast in the garden the following weekend and invited all our family and friends which went down well. I know Graham went for seconds ;)

 

Could not have asked for a more perfect day for us :cloud9:

 

I think a lot is about perception from others, there is too much keeping up with the jones's and thats when the costs start to spiral, which if you can afford it then go for it . . . if you can't then is it really worth getting in to debt for?

 

Reading Sarnie's post, 40K :scare: . . you so did the right thing, I can't imagine spending 4k, let alone 40k :lol:

 

If you are worries about the cost . . then his should make you feel better

 

http://www.businessinsider.com/most-expensive-weddings-in-history-2011-4?op=1

 

:lol:

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Your wedding day should done how you both want it, not influenced by any one else, if you don't like something then either change to or don't do it.

 

We had a family only service at a registry office then an amazing meal at a pub down the road. They made a private area for us, food and service was spot on. Could not have asked for more. We then had a Hog roast in the garden the following weekend and invited all our family and friends which went down well. I know Graham went for seconds ;)

 

Could not have asked for a more perfect day for us :cloud9:

 

I think a lot is about perception from others, there is too much keeping up with the jones's and thats when the costs start to spiral, which if you can afford it then go for it . . . if you can't then is it really worth getting in to debt for?

 

Reading Sarnie's post, 40K :scare: . . you so did the right thing, I can't imagine spending 4k, let alone 40k :lol:

 

If you are worries about the cost . . then his should make you feel better

 

http://www.businessinsider.com/most-expensive-weddings-in-history-2011-4?op=1

 

:lol:

tight sod :lol:
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Flex, couple of things I would say that are really, really important, or at least we're for us.

 

1. You are going to have the most fantastic, wonderful and brilliant wedding. You don't have to compete with anybody else's 'perfect wedding'. It's perfect already, because you've both decided to spend you're lives with each other because you love each other. You can't get more perfect than that, so anything else is a bonus :)

 

2) Make sure, and personally this was very important to me, to stop every now and then, particularly on the day itself, and just take things in for a moment. Breathe in the atmosphere, the sights, sounds, people, smells etc. These few personal moments will be more lasting as memories than photos or anything else.

Edited by Bockaaarck
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2) Make sure, and personally this was very important to me, to stop every now and then, particularly on the day itself, and just take things in for a moment. Breath in the atmosphere, the sights, sounds, people, smells etc. These few personal moments will be more lasting as memories than photos or anything else.

+ 1 on this - we never did that and its something we thought about later

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2) Make sure, and personally this was very important to me, to stop every now and then, particularly on the day itself, and just take things in for a moment. Breath in the atmosphere, the sights, sounds, people, smells etc. These few personal moments will be more lasting as memories than photos or anything else.

+ 1 on this - we never did that and its something we thought about later

 

+2 I got really wound up at one stage because I hadn't seen her for so long because everyone was wanting to speak with us constantly. It's amazing how quickly you can be separated from your new wife :lol:

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We were quite ruthless with ours. We invited only the people we wanted. We made our choices for what we wanted, and if it wasn't to people's tastes then too bad, it isn't their day.

 

We just detached ourselves from all external influences and just did it for us (ultimately that is what it's all about!) and made our choices and spent our money.

 

If people are falling out with you because of the decisions you're making then stuff 'em. It's not worth it. The key is to delegate tasks to people you trust, if people don't RSVP or do what they are supposed to do then just move on.

 

We whittled down our guest list from nearly 200 to just over 100. Best decision we made (saved us a lot too!) sure it put some people's noses out of joint, but too bad. One of the rules we had was "no kids". People responded generally positively, as we wanted the adults to enjoy the day rather than have to worry about kids, some people threw their toys out of their prams. We moved on, and got on with it.

 

Life is too short - if people / things are causing you negative energy/stress, move on. No point in keeping that poisonous environment.

 

Good luck with it mate! Whilst it was stressful it was still worth it in the end, best day of my life :)

 

As others have said, take 5mins out of the day to spend with your wife - just go for a walk, sneak out, and share a moment. The day goes so quick. Absorb it all. Most importantly HAVE A GREAT WEDDING!!!!

Edited by wmr1980
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