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Can men and women ever be 'just friends'?


twobears

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Just pondering something that my friends and I were discussing down at the yard this lunchtime :) We're all women and we couldn't reach a consensus of opinion so I thought I'd seek male opinions if anyone wants to enlighten me from a male perspective? :dry:

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Of course, one of my closest confidants is a lady. However, I'd want to be more than friends if the opportunity presented itself. Can't help it, it's natural, someone you're close too mentally, who happens to be attractive to you, it's the ultimate combo.

 

I think the big question is, "is it worth risking a great friendship for the big win?"

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Of course, one of my closest confidants is a lady. However, I'd want to be more than friends if the opportunity presented itself. Can't help it, it's natural, someone you're close too mentally, who happens to be attractive to you, it's the ultimate combo.

 

I think the big question is, "is it worth risking a great friendship for the big win?"

 

SuperStu, that is exactly how I see the situation for most male & female friendships. I reckon it's normally the bloke who would like to be more than just friends but my view may be coloured by my experience :lol:

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Absolutely can be friends. I used to house share with two girls who are very attractive, I even went to Thailand on hols for two weeks with one of them - my longest serving friend is a girl, we met when toddlers at nursery, we are both now in our late 30s!

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Of course, one of my closest confidants is a lady. However, I'd want to be more than friends if the opportunity presented itself. Can't help it, it's natural, someone you're close too mentally, who happens to be attractive to you, it's the ultimate combo.

 

I think the big question is, "is it worth risking a great friendship for the big win?"

 

SuperStu, that is exactly how I see the situation for most male & female friendships. I reckon it's normally the bloke who would like to be more than just friends but my view may be coloured by my experience :lol:

 

True story.

 

If a bloke is nice to a girl, she probably reflex thinks, decent bloke.

If a girl is nice to a bloke, he reflex thinks, I could well be in here.

 

We're just wired differently.

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Of course, one of my closest confidants is a lady. However, I'd want to be more than friends if the opportunity presented itself. Can't help it, it's natural, someone you're close too mentally, who happens to be attractive to you, it's the ultimate combo.

 

I think the big question is, "is it worth risking a great friendship for the big win?"

 

SuperStu, that is exactly how I see the situation for most male & female friendships. I reckon it's normally the bloke who would like to be more than just friends but my view may be coloured by my experience :lol:

 

True story.

 

If a bloke is nice to a girl, she probably reflex thinks, decent bloke.

If a girl is nice to a bloke, he reflex thinks, I could well be in here.

 

We're just wired differently.

 

That's exactly what I think. I am still in shock due to something that my best (male) friend said to me today, hence the discussion up at the stables :blush:

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They can be, but I think it is difficult if one finds the other attractive as there's always going to be a point where it becomes awkward.

 

Agree, and it is a shame if you have been friends with someone for a few years and then they say or do something that makes things awkward :(

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Just mirroring what others have said. Some of my best friends are female.

 

But do you want to be more than 'just friends'?

 

In some cases, yes, but I value our friendships more.

 

Plus I'm already in a relationship, so brakes firmly applied on that front. :lol:

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They can be, but I think it is difficult if one finds the other attractive as there's always going to be a point where it becomes awkward.

 

I made this gamble (error?) cos I thought it was worth the risk. Fortunately for me she was a really good mate and after the initial weirdness subsided, we're still bezzies years later, zero weirdness. We're actually even closer. Hopefully it's not just pitty :( the weirdness really starts if one can't let it go and move on.

 

She's getting married soon enough, gutted on one hand, but she's happy, so that's a win. Sadly, that train has sailed...

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They can be, but I think it is difficult if one finds the other attractive as there's always going to be a point where it becomes awkward.

 

Agree, and it is a shame if you have been friends with someone for a few years and then they say or do something that makes things awkward :(

 

Usually at the worst time too, like when they've been drinking.

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Just mirroring what others have said. Some of my best friends are female.

 

But do you want to be more than 'just friends'?

 

The thing is twobears, you're in to a decision point here. Is it more than 'just friends' as in "bloody hell I would!.." or "...wow, she is something else!..". The two can be extremely close or indeed, proved by interaction over time, very far apart.

 

There are a myriad of complexities, as you know, dependent on interpretation, inference, impression, ones social experiences as well as that of the person (male / female ) that you (or they) may wish to be 'more than good friends with'. This is true for both men / women / young / old etc.

 

You're at risk of over simplification or indeed underestimating the sophistication of men's emotional interaction with women. Let alone under valuing the female ability to know the exact potential impact of their behaviour in terms of love and romance, based on their long established and well recorded 'sense of intuition'

Edited by Bockaaarck
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