Your wedding day should done how you both want it, not influenced by any one else, if you don't like something then either change to or don't do it.
We had a family only service at a registry office then an amazing meal at a pub down the road. They made a private area for us, food and service was spot on. Could not have asked for more. We then had a Hog roast in the garden the following weekend and invited all our family and friends which went down well. I know Graham went for seconds
Could not have asked for a more perfect day for us
I think a lot is about perception from others, there is too much keeping up with the jones's and thats when the costs start to spiral, which if you can afford it then go for it . . . if you can't then is it really worth getting in to debt for?
Reading Sarnie's post, 40K . . you so did the right thing, I can't imagine spending 4k, let alone 40k
If you are worries about the cost . . then his should make you feel better
http://www.businessinsider.com/most-expensive-weddings-in-history-2011-4?op=1