Ekona

I actually prefer the looks of the Monaro to the VXR8, more sleek and less in-your-face. Interior is better on the VXR8, though.

Toyota are slightly better with the TRD parts for the GT86, but not by much. And the actual TRD '86 is a crock of a waste of time and money.

As you say, they're race cars not road cars which is what we're talking about here. Don't get me wrong, I'm not entirely happy about M and AMG selling their wheels and bodykits and having a trim level either, but at least they make solid gains when it comes to the halo performance models. Nissan and Nismo do no such thing, and their own press release even says as much. I fail to understand how this can remotely be defendable from a bunch of petrolheads, but there you go.

Barge-tastic. They're a wafter rather than a sports car, but by god that engine is stunning and the car has bags full of character. I'd have one in a heartbeat, and I don't particularly like barges!

You can achieve the same result by rinsing your car with an open hose pipe, then a quick wipe off with a drying cloth. I used to use that system too, many years ago, but someone told me about the hose trick and I've not looked back since.

It's not unfortunate at all. What is unfortunate is that you're so incredibly blinded by your hard-on for Nismo that you can't see what a watered down version it now is. I remember the Deltawing with fondness. I also remember that Nissan didn't come up with the original idea, they merely threw money and branding at it when it became clear that it would be an incredible bit of PR for the company. They then ditched it, but not before buying the rights to use the basic design for another entry for 2014. The Deltawing no longer uses anything Nissan-related in the engine btw, it's running a Mazda one now. But then, I'm sure you knew all this. You can applaud them for this all you like. I certainly won't be.

I refer you to the current Nismo range, thankyouverymuch. It's a posing brand, nothing more, and if that's what Nissan want thenthats what they get. I don't care about what Nismo may do with tarted up* GTRs in Japland, they have no relevance to the current Nismo branding. I have no idea why you're defending them. *Yes, it is a bit more than that.

Nismo means nothing more than a few tacky bits of plastic stuck to a car and harder suspension these days, and if that how Nissan view the brand then I shall treat it with the contempt that attitude deserves. As such, feel free to stick whatever Nismo badging you like to whatever you like, it's a dead brand as far as I'm concerned.

Me neither. I'd rather earn £20K a year waiting tables than £200K doing that.

I highly suspect that insurance as an anti-piracy bloke working in Somalia is probably not available.

Plumbers in Scotland charge a fortune, just ask Stuarty.

My best friend at school was a girl, Candy, lovely thing from Hong Kong. She came over for last year at primary where we shared a class, and then when we went to secondary school we were again in the same classes for most subjects. We very briefly dated when we were 13, but nothing serious. We then ended up in the same classes at college too, although that's because I changed subjects to be with her, but still we didn't get together. I fancied her best mate y'see, and bless her to this day that she actually helped get me and her mate together: I didn't realise it at the time, but she was in love with me but just wanted me to be happy. Me and her mate got together and that lasted a mere two months, before I got drunk with Candy one night and we hooked up instead. Ending the relationship with her friend the next day was awkward to say the least. We then got engaged, and everything was rosy until I left college to go to work. I then met someone else, and I ended things before I got involved with the other girl. We've never spoken since, although I did try to talk to her a short while later but she didn't want anything further to do with me. She's now married with a kid, and I'm pleased for her. Still proves nothing overall, but it's not always the bloke that falls for the girl.

Sounds like some serious training is the way forward matey.

Having driven a performance car with the optional speed-assisted steering (991 C2S and C2), I can tell you it's bloody horrible when you're nailing it for a tight hairpin then suddenly the steering goes all weak and floppy and girly and you end up with armfuls of opposite lock you don't want. Trust me, the steering in the Zed is nigh-on perfect.

It doesn't need to be any lighter at all. End of, sorry. I care if it lacks feel at sub-20mph, as I want to feel like I'm driving a car not playing Playstation.

This is where you're going to struggle. With zero skills other than general types you pick up in the military (and I'm only guessing here, never having served) but the ability to lead and follow instructions and work as a team, you're never going to get anywhere near £40K a year unless you get extremely lucky. You'd need a good couple of years of training at something, whatever that may be, to get that kind of cash I think. What are your A-levels, they might be relevant?

Work on 24mpg at whatever price super unleaded is round your way. You may get better, but prepare for the worst at least. Don't forget to include servicing and misc parts (£500 a year) plus tyres (£700 all round) and you'll be okay.

Light steering is the curse of the devil. It lacks feeling and weight, and even in traffic I wouldn't want it any lighter. Punto et al new cars are fitted with EPAS which makes it very easy to give different steering feel, whereas the Zed has HPAS which isn't so easy to do. The revup and HR cars had speed assisted steering that does weighten at speed, I cannot remember if the earlier cars do: I suspect they do, but I can't confirm that.

Dude, seriously, just flog the wheels and get the proper ones. Don't muck around with stuff like this, not when you've just spent all that money on superb tyres.

Do you want the money, or do you want to do something you enjoy? They're not mutually exclusive, but sadly one tends to be found without the other. There's loads of jobs out there that could potentially see you making £37500 before tax which gets you to your £2500 take home, but you may find they either bore the hell out of you or simply grind you down. What are your skills? What do you enjoy doing? What won't you do under any circumstances?

'Tis true. Although be fair, I can barely raise a smile these days so I suspect those lovely young fillies may be sadly disappointed

Preferably the latter, in a paddling pool full of jelly

I have many female friends. I would sleep with the lot of them, marriage notwithstanding of course.

Maybe, but why risk it? I wouldn't. Even if baked, oils will still naturally evaporate. DJ SN