I don't see why the FA/FIFA can't just bring in a rule saying that any chat back at the ref or bad language or disrespect to any player or official, no matter how small, is an instant yellow card. Once teams start going down to 7 vs 7 you'll soon see a change in behaviour, and managers will be just as important as refs to keep the players in line.
Do it for a couple of seasons, and watch the game changed for the better forever.