A woman with no arms or legs is sitting on a beach.
She's in fits of tears and a local dog walker notices her so he walks over...
"Are you ok Miss?"
"No I'm not, I'm upset because nobody has ever held me!"
"I'll hold you" says the dog walker bending down and embracing her tightly.
She then smiles and he walks off. Several minutes later though she begins to cry again uncontrollably.
Another man walking his dog spots her so runs over to see if she's ok.
"Are you alright?" he asks.
"No I'm really upset because I was just thinking how nobody has ever kissed me"
Thinking for a second the man replies, "well I'll kiss you if you like?!"
And with that he bends down and gives her a big kiss on the lips.
"Oh thank you" she said smiling and off walks the man & his dog.
But just a few minutes later she's sobbing again.
Luckily another man walking spots her and walks over.
"Are you ok?" he asks her.
"I'd never been held or kissed before today but these nice two men did both which made me happy for a second but now I'm thinking about how I've never been f**ked before which is making me really upset!" she said.
"Well you're f**ked now!, ...the tides coming in & I've got to go" said the man.