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Step Children and relationship break ups....


nowhereboy

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Also, regarding offending women.

 

I find society very highly charged towards the empowering of women and the demasculinization of men. And casually so.

 

How many adverts do you see where the husband is a bumbling idiot and the wife is the glue that binds the family together and keeps it from falling apart and casually corrects the husbands mistakes, unbeknown to him, so the poor dolt can live under the delusion that "he da man".

 

There are adverts where two women are browsing mens profiles, casually swiping past them. Then they pause at one. He's an average looking guy. They look at each other and burst out laughing then pull a disgusted face. They keep swiping and come across an adonis and smile gleefully at each other.

 

Then you have the diet coke adverts....

 

With programmes like Geordie Shore and other similar programmes, men have piled into gyms knowing they'll get nowhere with a woman unless they match what women see on tv. On the other hand women can skip the gym and just wear lots of makeup, fake lashes, hair extensions, plastic surgery.

 

It's not fair.

 

I'm a single man of 35, I'm not very good looking and I'm going bald. As far as modern society is concerned, I'm on the scrap heap. And it's generated and promulgated by women. I tried online dating and other than to tell me to "go away" (I'm using polite term there) I never got a single reply. Again, we're at the mercy of women in that regard.

 

So if we're a bit sour towards women about being discarded with about as much thought as one would give to discarding a used tissue, then blasted by media for being not what women want and indeed expect, you'll have to forgive me/us.

 

I'm off to the gym and a hair replacement clinic.

 

Caio.

 

And how many adverts do you see where the person cooking the dinner, doing the cleaning etc is a woman? The media is full of them.

 

Honestly, I really don't get why some guys seem to feel that women are a threat to your manhood. Historically, we have been a male dominated society for centuries. Men hold most of the best paid, must powerful jobs and positions of influence in almost all areas of life. The religions practised in society are almost entirely male dominated and favour men in various ways. If you look to other parts of the world male domination is even more extreme to the extent that women are practically slaves to the men they are forced to marry. Career, education, don't want kids - forget it.

 

I really don't think us chaps have got anything to moan about in terms of who gets the best deal.

 

And in what past centuries was the world anything like it is now?

 

How many technological breakthroughs are making the globe smaller and more focusing on an individual these days? Ones life is there for all to see and critique. If anything the playing field is leveling out very quickly and aggressively. I think women AND men of these new era look down on mere mortals.

 

Remember the beard phenomenon that took off? You could only rock that along with a nice thick head of hair. Shaved tight at the sides of course with a lovely glossy high comb over.

 

Me? Exempt. Balding with a transparent moustache which merged into blonde then yellow then orange beard.

 

Maybe I'm just bitter as I've been handed a sh1t basket in the looks department lol. I'm seeing it coming out now.

 

I was an 80s kid brought up watching Arnie etc. They were the guys to be. I used to love the fact I could get big easy. That's redundant now.

 

It's skinny jeans and heroin chic.

 

I strongly suspect I'm older than you fella. 48 to be precise so I've seen the same changes as you. Without wanting to make this too personal it sounds as though the issue is your self esteem as an individual, not how society treats men in general.

 

If it's any consolation, I've been dumped more than once and cheated on. Most people have. The important thing is how we react to these setbacks.

 

Pfft get outta this conversation old maaaaan! ;)

 

I'm kidding of course. Although I dare say you're at a comfortable stage/age in life where you are established, married and settled and not fighting tooth and nail at a gunfight when nature armed you with a plastic spoon, looks wise!

 

A degree of my attitude may be my position in life.

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Life is what you want it to be !

 

No one has to follow the rules of others.

 

I think we should make our own way in life.

 

Maybe that's why I am single !!! lol

 

And happy with it and my male cat. !!

 

I miss my cats. One got run down the week my ex binned me and she kept the other. :(

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Also, regarding offending women.

 

I find society very highly charged towards the empowering of women and the demasculinization of men. And casually so.

 

How many adverts do you see where the husband is a bumbling idiot and the wife is the glue that binds the family together and keeps it from falling apart and casually corrects the husbands mistakes, unbeknown to him, so the poor dolt can live under the delusion that "he da man".

 

There are adverts where two women are browsing mens profiles, casually swiping past them. Then they pause at one. He's an average looking guy. They look at each other and burst out laughing then pull a disgusted face. They keep swiping and come across an adonis and smile gleefully at each other.

 

Then you have the diet coke adverts....

 

With programmes like Geordie Shore and other similar programmes, men have piled into gyms knowing they'll get nowhere with a woman unless they match what women see on tv. On the other hand women can skip the gym and just wear lots of makeup, fake lashes, hair extensions, plastic surgery.

 

It's not fair.

 

I'm a single man of 35, I'm not very good looking and I'm going bald. As far as modern society is concerned, I'm on the scrap heap. And it's generated and promulgated by women. I tried online dating and other than to tell me to "go away" (I'm using polite term there) I never got a single reply. Again, we're at the mercy of women in that regard.

 

So if we're a bit sour towards women about being discarded with about as much thought as one would give to discarding a used tissue, then blasted by media for being not what women want and indeed expect, you'll have to forgive me/us.

 

I'm off to the gym and a hair replacement clinic.

 

Caio.

 

And how many adverts do you see where the person cooking the dinner, doing the cleaning etc is a woman? The media is full of them.

 

Honestly, I really don't get why some guys seem to feel that women are a threat to your manhood. Historically, we have been a male dominated society for centuries. Men hold most of the best paid, must powerful jobs and positions of influence in almost all areas of life. The religions practised in society are almost entirely male dominated and favour men in various ways. If you look to other parts of the world male domination is even more extreme to the extent that women are practically slaves to the men they are forced to marry. Career, education, don't want kids - forget it.

 

I really don't think us chaps have got anything to moan about in terms of who gets the best deal.

 

And in what past centuries was the world anything like it is now?

 

How many technological breakthroughs are making the globe smaller and more focusing on an individual these days? Ones life is there for all to see and critique. If anything the playing field is leveling out very quickly and aggressively. I think women AND men of these new era look down on mere mortals.

 

Remember the beard phenomenon that took off? You could only rock that along with a nice thick head of hair. Shaved tight at the sides of course with a lovely glossy high comb over.

 

Me? Exempt. Balding with a transparent moustache which merged into blonde then yellow then orange beard.

 

Maybe I'm just bitter as I've been handed a sh1t basket in the looks department lol. I'm seeing it coming out now.

 

I was an 80s kid brought up watching Arnie etc. They were the guys to be. I used to love the fact I could get big easy. That's redundant now.

 

It's skinny jeans and heroin chic.

 

I strongly suspect I'm older than you fella. 48 to be precise so I've seen the same changes as you. Without wanting to make this too personal it sounds as though the issue is your self esteem as an individual, not how society treats men in general.

 

If it's any consolation, I've been dumped more than once and cheated on. Most people have. The important thing is how we react to these setbacks.

 

Pfft get outta this conversation old maaaaan! ;)

 

I'm kidding of course. Although I dare say you're at a comfortable stage/age in life where you are established, married and settled and not fighting tooth and nail at a gunfight when nature armed you with a plastic spoon, looks wise!

 

A degree of my attitude may be my position in life.

 

Watch it you or I'll clout you with my walking stick. :) Never been married and never wanted kids. In a relationship (until she gets fed up with me.) :)

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Also, regarding offending women.

 

I find society very highly charged towards the empowering of women and the demasculinization of men. And casually so.

 

How many adverts do you see where the husband is a bumbling idiot and the wife is the glue that binds the family together and keeps it from falling apart and casually corrects the husbands mistakes, unbeknown to him, so the poor dolt can live under the delusion that "he da man".

 

There are adverts where two women are browsing mens profiles, casually swiping past them. Then they pause at one. He's an average looking guy. They look at each other and burst out laughing then pull a disgusted face. They keep swiping and come across an adonis and smile gleefully at each other.

 

Then you have the diet coke adverts....

 

With programmes like Geordie Shore and other similar programmes, men have piled into gyms knowing they'll get nowhere with a woman unless they match what women see on tv. On the other hand women can skip the gym and just wear lots of makeup, fake lashes, hair extensions, plastic surgery.

 

It's not fair.

 

I'm a single man of 35, I'm not very good looking and I'm going bald. As far as modern society is concerned, I'm on the scrap heap. And it's generated and promulgated by women. I tried online dating and other than to tell me to "go away" (I'm using polite term there) I never got a single reply. Again, we're at the mercy of women in that regard.

 

So if we're a bit sour towards women about being discarded with about as much thought as one would give to discarding a used tissue, then blasted by media for being not what women want and indeed expect, you'll have to forgive me/us.

 

I'm off to the gym and a hair replacement clinic.

 

Caio.

 

And how many adverts do you see where the person cooking the dinner, doing the cleaning etc is a woman? The media is full of them.

 

Honestly, I really don't get why some guys seem to feel that women are a threat to your manhood. Historically, we have been a male dominated society for centuries. Men hold most of the best paid, must powerful jobs and positions of influence in almost all areas of life. The religions practised in society are almost entirely male dominated and favour men in various ways. If you look to other parts of the world male domination is even more extreme to the extent that women are practically slaves to the men they are forced to marry. Career, education, don't want kids - forget it.

 

I really don't think us chaps have got anything to moan about in terms of who gets the best deal.

 

And in what past centuries was the world anything like it is now?

 

How many technological breakthroughs are making the globe smaller and more focusing on an individual these days? Ones life is there for all to see and critique. If anything the playing field is leveling out very quickly and aggressively. I think women AND men of these new era look down on mere mortals.

 

Remember the beard phenomenon that took off? You could only rock that along with a nice thick head of hair. Shaved tight at the sides of course with a lovely glossy high comb over.

 

Me? Exempt. Balding with a transparent moustache which merged into blonde then yellow then orange beard.

 

Maybe I'm just bitter as I've been handed a sh1t basket in the looks department lol. I'm seeing it coming out now.

 

I was an 80s kid brought up watching Arnie etc. They were the guys to be. I used to love the fact I could get big easy. That's redundant now.

 

It's skinny jeans and heroin chic.

 

I strongly suspect I'm older than you fella. 48 to be precise so I've seen the same changes as you. Without wanting to make this too personal it sounds as though the issue is your self esteem as an individual, not how society treats men in general.

 

If it's any consolation, I've been dumped more than once and cheated on. Most people have. The important thing is how we react to these setbacks.

 

Pfft get outta this conversation old maaaaan! ;)

 

I'm kidding of course. Although I dare say you're at a comfortable stage/age in life where you are established, married and settled and not fighting tooth and nail at a gunfight when nature armed you with a plastic spoon, looks wise!

 

A degree of my attitude may be my position in life.

 

Watch it you or I'll clout you with my walking stick. :) Never been married and never wanted kids. In a relationship (until she gets fed up with me.) :)

 

I have one too. Osteoarthritis in my knees. Lol.

Edited by TT350
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And how many adverts do you see where the person cooking the dinner, doing the cleaning etc is a woman? The media is full of them.

 

And they make my blood boil. I was working at home the other day and the wife had the day time telly on for 8 hours and advert after advert was portraying the woman as cooking, cleaning, looking after the kids, doing all the housework. I nearly threw up as I do all that in our house. Talk about sexist.

 

Got asked out by a girl at work today, she's 10 out of 10 in the looks department

 

Woah. Hold on. Whats wrong with you. TBH id just go out with her. You dont have to jump into bed with her, but you can have a laugh (non bedroom related) and start building up a few relationships with women. Chances are she has some female mates, who may not be as loose as her. Either way, nothing to loose!

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Me? Exempt. Balding

Man, with all due respect, get a grip on the balding thing. Just shave your head or give it a number 0 all over. Ive done that for years, purely because as a biker the crash helmet used to mess up my hair. Now im reseeding a bit noone notices. Look at the Rock, he shaves his head. Looks fine. I find I look about 20 years younger when my heads cropped with a number 0. Been so long since I saw my hair that when my hair grows and its grey i end up aging about 20 years over night! Some of my mates get proper stressed that they are loosing their hair, but I can honestly say its never bothered me in the slightest. :thumbs:

 

She was annoying as f*ck to be honest.

 

She just talked and talked and talked,

 

Mate of mine once went out with a bird who had the most annoying voice ever, so he only took her to nightclubs where he couldnt hear her. :lol:

Edited by rabbitstew
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Man, with all due respect, get a grip on the balding thing. Just shave your head or give it a number 0 all over.

Contemplated this since I'm starting to recede. Never had really short hair though, so it'd be a huge leap to go to shaved. Not idea if I have the head shape to pull it off either.

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Man, with all due respect, get a grip on the balding thing. Just shave your head or give it a number 0 all over.

Contemplated this since I'm starting to recede. Never had really short hair though, so it'd be a huge leap to go to shaved. Not idea if I have the head shape to pull it off either.

 

You dont have to go all Telly Salvalis with it and bic it, just crop it with a set of sheers from argos. Number 1 or 0 is fine. Nice and easy and looks well smart. I started by cutting my hair shorter and shorter in my early 20`s until I just though f**k it and just did the lot. So much easier. Wife spents ages drying her hair and mine is dry before ive got out of the shower. Women love it too. Cropped hair = manly apparently.

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Man, with all due respect, get a grip on the balding thing. Just shave your head or give it a number 0 all over.

Contemplated this since I'm starting to recede. Never had really short hair though, so it'd be a huge leap to go to shaved. Not idea if I have the head shape to pull it off either.

 

There are plenty of things I don't like about myself. I'd love to be a few inches taller and a few pounds lighter. I'm not losing my hair but I honestly don't think most women care if a guy is. If you watch any number of dating programmes on TV, the physical feature most women mention is height not hair.

Edited by sipar69
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There are plenty of things I don't like about myself. I'd love to be a few inches taller and a few pounds lighter. I'm not losing my hair but I honestly don't think most women care if a guy is. If you watch any number of dating programmes on TV, the physical feature most women mention is height not hair.

I'm 6'4, maybe 6'5... :happy:

 

Though I think that's a bit beyond what women want :(

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I don't think OP should be going out with any girls right now. He's reeling from his ex.

 

Allsorts could happen that he's in no place to see through. Someone will get hurt. Or both. If he begins seeing a girl who develops feelings for him and he has to let her down that's something she doesn't need and something he doesn't need weighing him down. Not fair to either.

 

I've only ever wanted to date when I was fully emotionally available to a woman because I've never been the kind of guy to casually date with no intentions of it going further. I don't look for that and it puts me off if a woman does want to date to those ends.

 

I don't think I'll be in any position to date for another year at least. This breakup has almost ruined me and at times I've felt like I was going insane. It's been hard to deal with how disposable I've become. Not just to her, but to 'friends' and family. When I had my ex I felt complete and none of that stuff mattered but when the woman who said she'd never leave me and would always love me, left me and stopped loving me in the space of an hour and sent me a 30k bill.

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Dude that's not true!

 

A road trip would be awesome but I have too much going on right now to think about it. Plus I need to sort out my finances and get my own place.

 

You're completely right about not dating for a while, it will probably be at least a year for me too. I would only compare the new girl to the ex and that's not fair on anyone involved.

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Oh, if only one of my mates was like you. Let me give you a brief context of his life so far, I think he's 35 right now so 22 when this started?

 

2004: Meets really nice girl, smart, funny, friendly, reasonably attractive.

2005: Dumps awesome girl, starts dating midget.

2005: Gets midget pregnant after a couple of months.

2006: Midget has kid, the day after the child is born she tells him she doesn't love him and wants him to leave.

2008: Meets seriously hot chick who is rude as hell.

2009: Sells really nice house he loved to buy even more expensive house, because she said so.

2010: Has child with Hot Girl.

2011: Marries Hot Girl in £40K wedding.

2013: Has second child with Hot Girl.

2013: Hot girl tells him she hasn't loved him since before she got pregnant, kicks him out of HIS house.

2014: Divorce. She has custody, keeps the house, takes most of his wages for CSA. She goes absolutely mental, screaming and claiming all sorts of random stuff.

2014: Sleeps around A LOT on TInder, meets horrendously filthy girl who is happy for threesomes and lesbian orgies. She is also a mother of 3.

2015: Marries Filthy Girl.

2015: Gets Filthy Girl pregnant.

2016: He pays for massive works on her Mum's house, which they're living in.

2016: She has kid. Kicks him out because (guess what?!) she doesn't love him any more. Moves boyfriend in the same day that he leaves, whilst he's still in the house.

2017: Hooks up with new girl, only met her once so no judgement passed yet ;)

 

That divorce is in the middle of being settled, but she's claiming he cheated on her (technically he did, but she was in the room at the time cheering him on!) and will no doubt take him for the rest of his cash. So he'll end up paying for the four kids he's had, along with the three kids she had with her other partner as of course they're now used to living in a certain fashion. Now this guy is possibly the nicest, gentlest, meekest guy you'll ever meet, but jesus f*ck does he make poor life choices with women :lol:

 

He just needs to leave them alone, hell he could've bought a different hooker home every night for those years and been better off financially.

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I liked the sound of the filthy one, was she fit? :lol:

 

As for dating further women, why the hell not? You wouldnt stop going out with the lads because you fell out with one of them, if you dont consider it a romantic encounter then its just going out with a mate. Who might give you a bit of action. :lol:

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I liked the sound of the filthy one, was she fit? :lol:

We nicknamed her the Poison Dwarf, and I wouldn't touch her with yours :lol: Now, if he could've had the looks of the Hot One, the personality of the first one and the sex addiction of the Filthy one, I reckon that's the perfect woman right there :D

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Dude that's not true!

 

A road trip would be awesome but I have too much going on right now to think about it. Plus I need to sort out my finances and get my own place.

 

You're completely right about not dating for a while, it will probably be at least a year for me too. I would only compare the new girl to the ex and that's not fair on anyone involved.

 

Lol I was only joking mate :)

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Oh, if only one of my mates was like you. Let me give you a brief context of his life so far, I think he's 35 right now so 22 when this started?

 

2004: Meets really nice girl, smart, funny, friendly, reasonably attractive.

2005: Dumps awesome girl, starts dating midget.

2005: Gets midget pregnant after a couple of months.

2006: Midget has kid, the day after the child is born she tells him she doesn't love him and wants him to leave.

2008: Meets seriously hot chick who is rude as hell.

2009: Sells really nice house he loved to buy even more expensive house, because she said so.

2010: Has child with Hot Girl.

2011: Marries Hot Girl in £40K wedding.

2013: Has second child with Hot Girl.

2013: Hot girl tells him she hasn't loved him since before she got pregnant, kicks him out of HIS house.

2014: Divorce. She has custody, keeps the house, takes most of his wages for CSA. She goes absolutely mental, screaming and claiming all sorts of random stuff.

2014: Sleeps around A LOT on TInder, meets horrendously filthy girl who is happy for threesomes and lesbian orgies. She is also a mother of 3.

2015: Marries Filthy Girl.

2015: Gets Filthy Girl pregnant.

2016: He pays for massive works on her Mum's house, which they're living in.

2016: She has kid. Kicks him out because (guess what?!) she doesn't love him any more. Moves boyfriend in the same day that he leaves, whilst he's still in the house.

2017: Hooks up with new girl, only met her once so no judgement passed yet ;)

 

That divorce is in the middle of being settled, but she's claiming he cheated on her (technically he did, but she was in the room at the time cheering him on!) and will no doubt take him for the rest of his cash. So he'll end up paying for the four kids he's had, along with the three kids she had with her other partner as of course they're now used to living in a certain fashion. Now this guy is possibly the nicest, gentlest, meekest guy you'll ever meet, but jesus f*ck does he make poor life choices with women :lol:

 

He just needs to leave them alone, hell he could've bought a different hooker home every night for those years and been better off financially.

 

This sound exactly like on of my old friends. But not quite to the same extent.

 

He's a nice, mild mannered and friendly guy. When he meets a woman (and he always goes for the same type) he falls for them in a matter of weeks.

 

He's like a puppy sat there at the girls heel wagging his tail waiting for the girl to look down and acknowledge him. And the kind of woman he goes for always treats him badly. But he laps it up and tries harder and harder. But the more he tries the more they treat him badly.

 

Also, he can't stand being alone. He NEEDS someone there next to him no matter how they treat him.

 

So 4 kids, 4 mothers and he's going to have more with his current 21 year old girlfriend. Don't envision a beautiful young lady. Or even a clean and healthy looking one.

 

She's stick thin, wears dirty, baggy hoodies with her hands inside the sleeves, unwashed, unbrushed straggly hair, tracksuit bottoms.

 

That's the type he goes for. He likes "skinny, rough and ready types"

 

His ex was the same but with a pink mohawk. She divorced him, took the house and the kids they had together and his car. Which was on finance and had to carry on paying for the house and car.

 

Unbeknown to him, she'd been saving lots of money at the job she said was voluntary unpaid work.

 

In the years after, he paid child support to her, cash in hand because he's a plasterer. So she phoned CSA and told them he hadn't paid her a penny in 3 years.

 

And he'll do it all again.

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I also don't get how the women end up with everything. ??? ||||| Even some when children are not involved too ?? What, why ?

 

IMO it is not right. Yes if there are children involved, then the children should be catered and cared for in Mum or Dad's house !)

Surely as everyone is involved, everyone's life requires adjusting, not just the man's.

I know too many men who are struggling due to this.

 

I found out many years later after my Father left - he really struggled. My Mother did collar him royally.

Even though I did not see my Father after he left when I was 10, I have never thought this was right.

 

A story. One evening running a Quiz In Banbury Town on foot for the Scouts, we (6 of them were with me),on the street sat in a doorway was a homeless person.

The Scouts practically crossed the street to avoid him. I was fuming !!!!!!!!!!!! (My smiley thingies are not working !!)

 

I marched them round the corner out of sight and hearing of the homeless chap and asked the reasons.

They had all been told they were dirty, smelly not nice people. !! That's it - I was shocked, maybe naively !

 

I had to explain how easy I felt it was to end up in this situation. In brief............

Man & women living together they split up. Man has to pay for children and possibly wife while living elsewhere which he pays for.

Man loses job and has no other support. Easy to end up on the street. Of course they may be dirty even smell, but not nice people was not necessarily true.

 

Another time, I taught them to use Butter Knives !! lol

Edited by Wendy
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cash in hand because he's a plasterer.

Plasterers can't open bank accounts??

 

Sure. But my friend is a bit dozy when it comes to things like that. He just didn't see the point in putting it in the bank only to draw it out again, I guess.

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Wendy it's just how the system works. The mother has all the rights. Same with unemployment.

 

An unemployed single mum will get a house provided, money in the bank, no council tax to pay and so on.

 

I remember when I was unemployed 6 years ago. All I was entitled to was 70 a week jobseekers allowance. I had to find my mortgage money, council tax (you only get council tax help after so many months) food, gas, electricity, everything.

 

It's backwards. They won't help with a mortgage but they WILL pay more for a council house and that automatically entitles you to free council tax.

 

I cancelled it so that I didn't have to go back to the hideous place that is the job centre and be spoken to like a cretin.

 

I got a job swiftly anyway.

 

Anyway, yeah...a single mum is entitled to everything. They look at it like, well you can't take children from the mother, but it's fine to take them from the father, so then they think "well the kids need a safe place to live. She gets the house"

 

My friend worked hard to get his house, renovated it, and his ex didn't lift a finger or pay a penny towards it. Now he lives in a tiny council flat.

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