I do a fantasy footy update for the work mini league every few days, thought I'd share some of the awful gags I'm planning for Monday's.
So much for a sleepy tournament suffocated by humidity and drab scoreless games. It's been goal goals goals. Who amongst you saw the Dutch setting fire to the grass and lighting up the joint in the 5-1 mauling of Spain? Featuring a Blinding left wing performance by young Daley, not to mention Robin Van Persie's equaliser showing the Spanish the red light and the top quality Dutch head familiar to all Amsterdam regulars.
Having missed Mexico v Cameroon I'm woefully short of match detail, but I don't think anyone was surprised to see the Mexicans take away a win from a spicy encounter. African fans shouldn't be too disappointed, with clear signs there will be brighter Cameroon diaz ahead.
Elsewhere, red hot Chile peppered the Australia goal for 20 minutes before Cahill's movement cut Isla adrift in an ocean of space, sending Socceroos' fans leaping; some criminal defending means they're likely to continue tasting defeat, both Home & Away. As expected Colombia took a hard line in Group C, leaving the Greeks smashed, shattered and picking up the pieces. The Greeks will have to do feta in the next two games to avoid a grilling.
Though it's hard to believe, all of this action was before the Group D day landing. Not content with a major upset on Friday, Uruguay were left shipwrecked in the rich coastal waters of Costa Rica... Luis Suarez looked starved of football on the bench, with nothing to get his teeth into as The Sky Blues were cannibalised by the opposition, who tabled a two goal serving in three second half minutes and a third course late on, as Urena took the p...
Despite Honda driving Japan into an early lead, once again showing he's a kwik fit in their midfield and ably demonstrating the advantages of a regular service. Ultimately though Honda was left silenced and exhausted, as Les Elephants didn't forget (to score) with some poaching of their own, stampeding away with all three points in their trunk. Football fans all over were disappointed to see a Japanese squad not featuring pun regular Daisuke Matsui, who always got a good reception and never failed to work the channels.
The England match was too emotionally difficult for this author to craft any gags, and only the selection of Raheem caused a rumble in the jungle. Roy Hodgson banked on Sterling, for which he deserves some credit and in return Sterling showed all the hallmarks of a top player, few fans will want to see him exchanged any time soon.
I'm here all week, available for weddings, bat mitzvahs...