Cragus

There is neigh chance you can keep this one going!

Took this from the lotus board: It Can be Hard Keeping a Straight Face as a COURT REPORTER These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shi**ing me? _________________________________________ (My Favorite) ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ (Another favorite) ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death… ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them... The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral... _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ And last: (Well OK, this is the best) ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No… ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Snow has laid here 30 mins South of Glasgow - but it it beginning to melt from the roads and clear up.

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Nissan-Z34-370z-Amuse-Carbon-Fiber-Body-kit-/180832871732?pt=Motors_Car_Truck_Parts_Accessories&hash=item2a1a7aa534 You can make a best offer on this but not sure what he would take or what import charges would be?

I drive a porsche don't you know.

I have replaced a laptop screen and if I can do it you can too! Really simple to do and lots of videos on youtube talking you through it.

Thinking about it Gman - I passed you the a couple of weeks ago in Larkhall

There is a hooters in Berlin - game on - a big portion of bratwurst is in order ! On a serious note - Berlin is a great place and a good shout!

Supercharger?

Seriously dude, come the Wales meet you're gonna go all Koothrapali properly and go dead shy after all this haha But you went to private boys school?? Theres so much i wanna ask thats not appropriate haha Did you have happy schooldays?? He has a tank top just like koothrappali.

Magic tree - too good!

Nah yours just looks like a woman in a schoolgirls outfit whereas mine looks.... oh hang on might be digging a hole here Operation Yewtree will be on to you next!

What about Ice Ice Baby?

I had more this in mind Dave:

Will.i.am is bit of a c0ck in my opinion. From what I have heard he is full of self importance. Did he not have a recent single played on mars or something?

You take BBk? That's nice!

I had a loan for my zed but never took the payment protection on top - I presume that's what was misold? Never looked into it?

Never seen it - but I think there is a reason for that! Sorry!

PPI money - you must be about the only person I know that got that! haha

Are they decent blades? PIAA are expensive but well worth it!

Agreed - looks like the seats or steering wheel/handbrake have been changed to/from Alzean. Mileage is low but bare in mind it is a very early model and it is a jap import. Looks reasonably priced though.

You love your bright colours mate! Congratulations - looks a tidy car!