Ekona Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Breakups are crap regardless of who you are, or who you think you are. They're soul destroying, painful, and they leave you empty. And every single time you eventually get over it. May be a month, may be a year, but it does happen. You never forget the good times, but you do stop craving them and you end up a happier person 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowhereboy Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 I remember being broken when my last one ended . She was completely different to my recent ex tho and to be fair I knew she was a wild one from the start and it ended badly (she shagged some bloke at work in the toilets, the bloke was married with a kid on the way). My recent ex is/was a much more respectable person, a proper woman the family type, not some wild party animal. Also my first serious relationship (living together with plans of marriage etc). Christ I must be doing everyone's head in - someone get out the worlds smallest violin for me On a serious note I may go to the doctors, I do think I have some minor codependency issues that need addressing, either that or my ex has just completely turned this around on to me and made me think I'm the problem when I'm not. I doubt that tho, the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Christ I must be doing everyone's head in - someone get out the worlds smallest violin for me Never, we're your friends and we're always here for you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowhereboy Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 Cheers fella. Out of curiosity (and I'm sorry for making this personal).... You mentioned all woman do these things when a relationship ends, do you think your own partner would be capable of that too? I have issues with trust and don't see a future trusting anyone with the knowledge that they will string me along when the going gets tough and wait until they find someone else? Or maybe a better way to look at it is that people will be trusting when all is well and it's important to address any problems or give up on the relationship before that point of no return comes. I'm just thinking out loud here, I've never cheated or left a woman for someone else and could never see myself doing that to a person I've gave all my love to, even if it had faded away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 I think right now mate it's just a waste of time trying to make sense of all that's happened. It's super sh1t that you're in this situation and the thing is, you're along for the ride now. Best to settle in and buckle up and get through this major patch of turbulence because there's no way to avoid it. Eventually you will come out the other side and you will find someone else no doubt. It sounds like you have an active social life. Look mate, it can't get much worse than my situation lol. I've no parents, no extended family and my brother wouldn't p1ss on me if I was on fire. My mates are all doing vastly more important things now, marriage, babies and have zero time for me. But here I am getting through it. Like you my ex was the perfect package. A homely girl, very good career, thoughtful, caring etc. She also said she'd never leave me. Said she absolutely couldn't imagine being with anyone else. That I was definitely the one. Picked a place we'd get married. The whole lot. Then I was booted out one morning, with no discussion, ended up sat on the couch in silence in my old house exactly as it was when WE moved out after living here together for a 18 months, like time had stood still. So yes it really hurts to think back on the BS that may have been true at the time. You aren't the only one mate and I know I relate it to my relationship a lot but I do that because it's a strong recent experience. It's hard as hell, every day is like wading through neck deep tar but it can and will only get easier. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strudul Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Christ I must be doing everyone's head in - someone get out the worlds smallest violin for me Best thing about forums is you can choose which threads you read. Everyone is here voluntarily to show their support 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowhereboy Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 I think right now mate it's just a waste of time trying to make sense of all that's happened. It's super sh1t that you're in this situation and the thing is, you're along for the ride now. Best to settle in and buckle up and get through this major patch of turbulence because there's no way to avoid it. Eventually you will come out the other side and you will find someone else no doubt. It sounds like you have an active social life. Look mate, it can't get much worse than my situation lol. I've no parents, no extended family and my brother wouldn't p1ss on me if I was on fire. My mates are all doing vastly more important things now, marriage, babies and have zero time for me. But here I am getting through it. Like you my ex was the perfect package. A homely girl, very good career, thoughtful, caring etc. She also said she'd never leave me. Said she absolutely couldn't imagine being with anyone else. That I was definitely the one. Picked a place we'd get married. The whole lot. Then I was booted out one morning, with no discussion, ended up sat on the couch in silence in my old house exactly as it was when WE moved out after living here together for a 18 months, like time had stood still. So yes it really hurts to think back on the BS that may have been true at the time. You aren't the only one mate and I know I relate it to my relationship a lot but I do that because it's a strong recent experience. It's hard as hell, every day is like wading through neck deep tar but it can and will only get easier. Yea man, your posts always struck a chord with me to be honest because I've been having relationship issues for months and was reading them thinking this could be me very soon. I was actually hoping you would input into this thread so I'm grateful you did. The part about being sat back at square one is so true man, I'm 32 and have had to move back into my dads place for a while, he's unwell so I wanted to be back here anyway but it's hard. Back in the same bedroom I spent a few bad years with depression in. I've turned it into a proper little man cave this time tho as I couldn't bare to sit in the same room scenery as last time. Thankfully I do have a busy social life and a passion which is making music, the loneliness is real on a night time tho. I'm pleased that you're doing better, I can only imagine how hard things must have been for you at first. My family have been very supportive and I'm lucky to have that to fall back on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 You're set up then. Music is a big passion of mine but I can barely play the guitar. I'd love to be able to put all my emotions into music and it come out reflecting them. I have so many genres that I like depending on mood. I can get teary eyed when something strikes a chord with me. Sink your soul into that. You'll be able to look back on it in years to come and because it's tangible it'll be more than just a memory. I still have a favourite Album that always reminds me of bad times but somehow comforts me in a way. The Fragile by Nine Inch Nails. Unfortunately all the tracks are blocked on YouTube so you'll have to buy it. I can fully relate to sick parents mate. I nursed both mine through cancer and no one should be helping changing their mums underwear at 26 because she couldn't make it to the toilet so I know it sucks to see them weakened. My c*nt of a brother visited her once a week but got all the praise off family members because he's the older brother who never did wrong and who was part of the same religious group. Absolute tw@t. I do hope your dad will be OK mate. Is he waiting for new kidneys? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strudul Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 The Fragile by Nine Inch Nails. Unfortunately all the tracks are blocked on YouTube so you'll have to buy it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ev4v2-qJlDo You're welcome 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowhereboy Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 (edited) You're set up then. Music is a big passion of mine but I can barely play the guitar. I'd love to be able to put all my emotions into music and it come out reflecting them. I have so many genres that I like depending on mood. I can get teary eyed when something strikes a chord with me. Sink your soul into that. You'll be able to look back on it in years to come and because it's tangible it'll be more than just a memory. I still have a favourite Album that always reminds me of bad times but somehow comforts me in a way. The Fragile by Nine Inch Nails. Unfortunately all the tracks are blocked on YouTube so you'll have to buy it. I can fully relate to sick parents mate. I nursed both mine through cancer and no one should be helping changing their mums underwear at 26 because she couldn't make it to the toilet so I know it sucks to see them weakened. My c*nt of a brother visited her once a week but got all the praise off family members because he's the older brother who never did wrong and who was part of the same religious group. Absolute tw@t. I do hope your dad will be OK mate. Is he waiting for new kidneys? I'm really sorry to hear about your parents man. Yea my dad needs a new kidney, supposed to start dialysis within a month, it's crazy tho because he won't stop working, honestly at this point I think his game plan is to see it through to my sisters wedding, save as much money as possible and leave me as much in his will as he can. I'm looking at inheriting this house which is worth a substantial amount of money. It's horrible to think of things this way and I keep telling him to quit his job, sell the house and downgrade, free up a big chunk of money and spend the rest of his days in peace but I know he will never do it. He's a bit of a hero for that really. I don't think he has any intention of doing the dialysis but maybe that will change, the wait for a kidney is huge at the minute and he has other complications that might prevent the op anyway. I have offered to be a donor but he won't take mine (mine are probably in worse condition then his anyway given how I spent my 20's haha). Edited February 28, 2017 by nowhereboy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 You need to try and change his mind. It's very possible that he can recieve a new kidney and the fact is we can survive with little functioning kidney. My mum had kidney problems for years after giving birth to my brother. She was always taking these herbal concoctions from a guy called Dr Mumby(sp) In the end she had her bad kidney out and the other was like, 25% functioning but she was OK after and no pain. But anyway, get your dad to change his mind as I'm sure the financial side of it doesn't even come into question and it's absurd to think your kids would benefit more from your passing rather than surviving x amount of years. Then... Come on holiday with me in summer for a USA roadtrip lol. 3 to 4 weeks of sun and highway. We'll get Dan to fund it Daaaaann!!? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowhereboy Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 I'm trying to change his mind yea, his kidneys are real shot tho, both of them are buggered and at something like 15%, he's in the final stage of failure. He is going to need either overnight dialysis for 8 hours every day or a 5 hour hospital stay every other day. He has very high blood pressure, liver problems and a pretty weak heart so he needs tests to see if he can be operated on. I think home dialysis is the way forward but I just don't think it's possible for him to keep working, he is very stubborn and has no intention of quitting work, he works fixing petrol pumps and spends half his time down man holes etc, I just don't think it's possible for him to continue. The doc said I have a chance of kidney problems later in life as it runs in my family, so they are not keen on taking one of mine. I'm trying to just accept that what will be will be, as this thread clearly shows, some things in life we just can't control. On a brighter note, a USA road trip would be unreal man! I've got the chance to go out and stay in LA this summer with a bloke called Eric Dover (he worked with jellyfish and played alongside slash in slashes snakepit), my mate is very friendly with him and makes music with a few artists over there, all I need is plane tickets. I've no doubt that it would be an absolute adventure but I keep thinking of my dad and wouldn't want to leave him on his own for months on end. Unsure what to do to be honest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 (edited) I'm trying to change his mind yea, his kidneys are real shot tho, both of them are buggered and at something like 15%, he's in the final stage of failure. He is going to need either overnight dialysis for 8 hours every day or a 5 hour hospital stay every other day. He has very high blood pressure, liver problems and a pretty weak heart so he needs tests to see if he can be operated on. I think home dialysis is the way forward but I just don't think it's possible for him to keep working, he is very stubborn and has no intention of quitting work, he works fixing petrol pumps and spends half his time down man holes etc, I just don't think it's possible for him to continue. The doc said I have a chance of kidney problems later in life as it runs in my family, so they are not keen on taking one of mine. I'm trying to just accept that what will be will be, as this thread clearly shows, some things in life we just can't control. On a brighter note, a USA road trip would be unreal man! I've got the chance to go out and stay in LA this summer with a bloke called Eric Dover (he worked with jellyfish and played alongside slash in slashes snakepit), my mate is very friendly with him and makes music with a few artists over there, all I need is plane tickets. I've no doubt that it would be an absolute adventure but I keep thinking of my dad and wouldn't want to leave him on his own for months on end. Unsure what to do to be honest. It's a tough situation. If you can, get the family round, have a sit down and a bit of an intervention. Pull out the old treasure chest and the family pics and make him remember why he's on this planet. I can understand from his point of view he may be tired and the thought of daily physical maintenance might bog his mind and spirit down. But try and pep him up and there is always the chance of a kidney donor. Summer is coming. Plenty of bikers out there lol. I'll be one hopefully! Straight out on an R1! So hey, if I crash the pearly gates backwards and on fire then grab one of my kidneys or both. Hell, I'll have a 650hp 350Z too. Survival is looking like a tall order! On a lighter note, I'm absolutely up for America as I'm going anyway for an epic road trip. Seeing as the two of us have experienced very similar things and are a similar age it'd be really good. It'd definitely wipe away a fair bit of grief. did it by myself in 2003 too so it's no biggie. And if the scenery doesn't inspire music then you have no soul! Sounds like we could both add a lot to the experience. I prefer Buckethead to Slash You could always head straight back if you get a call. It's only 13 hours away. Put in place some kind of contingency and I'd bring your gear back if you had to go at a moments notice. Edited February 28, 2017 by TT350 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nixy Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 I have read through the majority of this and you've really been given some great advice. A clean break is definitely for the best including for the little boy and what Ekona says about getting over it - well yes, you will eventually. We all do and have (some of us more than once). The one thing I have to take exception to is the 'women bashing' that's been said in this thread. We are not all 'like that' just like not all men 'are like that'. Some people sadly prefer to live in a rubbish relationship and wait until they find their next one before moving on. Men and women both do that at times and I would hazard a guess that more men do it actually, but I could be wrong. I for one left my marriage to be on my own with a seriously reduced lifestyle and was much happier for doing so. Yes there are some horrible people out there but please don't give up on there being some decent ones as well. And as said before, you will be fine.......eventually. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 http://elitedaily.com/dating/men-breakup-stories-reddit/1809005/amp/ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowhereboy Posted March 2, 2017 Author Share Posted March 2, 2017 Inspirational Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jumping350 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 (edited) I had a pretty brutal one yesterday, ive snapped my Achilles Tendon and been in a boot for 4 months now, still unable to walk and my playing career is pretty much over now, my friend took me to watch a game yesterday came home and all the mrs stuff was gone including her! not answering phone and dont know where she is, as far as brutal goes this is pretty much the top of the list in my opinion, Ive done so much for her and her boy and this is my reward, im now on my own with one leg and all the bills wondering what to do next! You may see a supercharged zed up for sale shortly Edited March 6, 2017 by jumping350 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Woah, that's pretty harsh Did she take any of your stuff? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jumping350 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Yeah tell me about it! I dont know yet il have to hobble round when I get in from my one legged commute from work and have a look! I have noticed around £2500 missing from the account though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 (edited) F*cker. That sucks man. So, who were you poking then? Edited March 6, 2017 by Ekona Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jumping350 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 aha so that would be the normal conclusion for this story, however I have one leg, I cant walk and I cant drive and literally been housebound with her son crashing in the next room for the last year (hes in all day) so there is no poking going on here and I havent anyway so thats not it, I generally like to think im a nice guy who tries hard/motivated and is quite easy going...apparently not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 So no note or anything? No hints that things weren't right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docwra Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Jesus man, she sounds like a proper psycho Dont suppose youve got contacts for any of her family or friends? Id be fcuking livid if my daughter did that to someone ......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jumping350 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 nothing il suspect i may hear from her today,we have ups and downs but nothing major.no contacts son changed number but know where mum lives however cant get there. getting the impression i was a stop gap for them both Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jumping350 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 thats the worst bit could had decency to tell me or talk about it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.