Ekona Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Tough luck whether she can afford it or not, she should've thought about that when asking you to take the loan out for her! You may be happy paying it now, but will you be equally happy when she's shacked up next month with some other guy banging her senseless on a regular basis? Sorry to put it so bluntly, however this is the reality of the situation and it's not a nice situation to be in. Like you say, you're liable for the loan regardless now and I'm just hoping she doesn't realise that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bullet Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 (edited) Life will always throw hurdles at you mate, you've got to learn to just leap over them or if they do trip you up learn to dust yourself off and carry on. "Inspiration and growth only come from adversity and from challenge from stepping away from what's comfortable and familiar and stepping out into the unknown" Edited February 28, 2017 by Bullet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowhereboy Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 (edited) Tough luck whether she can afford it or not, she should've thought about that when asking you to take the loan out for her! You may be happy paying it now, but will you be equally happy when she's shacked up next month with some other guy banging her senseless on a regular basis? Sorry to put it so bluntly, however this is the reality of the situation and it's not a nice situation to be in. Like you say, you're liable for the loan regardless now and I'm just hoping she doesn't realise that. Honestly dude you just made me feel sick No I would not be happy, furious actually. Maybe I'm naive but I just don't see that happening soon, shes looks after her son full time and wouldn't bring a new man anywhere near him for a good while after us, I know that for sure. She's not the one night stand type either, took her a while to feel comfortable will me etc. She was single for about 2 years before meeting me and didn't get with anyone since her ex. Obviously she will meet someone at some point but hopefully not within the next month while I'm still supporting her. Frankly I'd be devastated if I found out there was someone else already, it would go against everything I know about her. Edited February 28, 2017 by nowhereboy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nissanman312 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Tough luck whether she can afford it or not, she should've thought about that when asking you to take the loan out for her! You may be happy paying it now, but will you be equally happy when she's shacked up next month with some other guy banging her senseless on a regular basis? Sorry to put it so bluntly, however this is the reality of the situation and it's not a nice situation to be in. Like you say, you're liable for the loan regardless now and I'm just hoping she doesn't realise that. Dan that's a bit harsh But I do agree unfortunately Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetpilot Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Tough luck whether she can afford it or not, she should've thought about that when asking you to take the loan out for her! You may be happy paying it now, but will you be equally happy when she's shacked up next month with some other guy banging her senseless on a regular basis? Sorry to put it so bluntly, however this is the reality of the situation and it's not a nice situation to be in. Like you say, you're liable for the loan regardless now and I'm just hoping she doesn't realise that. Honestly dude you just made me feel sick No I would not be happy, furious actually. Maybe I'm naive but I just don't see that happening soon, shes looks after her son full time and wouldn't bring a new man anywhere near him for a good while after us, I know that for sure. She's not the one night stand type either, took her a while to feel comfortable will me etc. Obviously she will meet someone at some point but hopefully not within the next month while I'm still supporting her. Frankly I'd be devastated if I found out there was someone else. Sorry buddy, but its something you are going to have to face and i will still never cease to be amazed at what some people do, even the ones you think you know. I guess that thought it always the worst part of a relationship break up, but its sadly inevitable, so forget what you think you know and get these dealings with her out the way and hopefully you wont see that eventuality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekona Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 It's going to happen, trust me on this. It always does, every single time. People very rarely end relationships just because they're unhappy, they normally do it because they've seen something better that's on the horizon. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowhereboy Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 You guys are killing me man!! haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grahamc Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 (edited) I completely agree with Dan, sadly on this he is 100%, get it sorted in writing as soon as possible and walk/run away! Edited February 28, 2017 by grahamc 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nissanman312 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 I completely agree with Dan, sadly on this he is 100%, get it sorted in writing as soon as possible and walk/run away! And get back on the horse yourself so to speak lol It will be a welcome distraction 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Definitely. I remember years ago in the gym lamenting the woes of my broken heart to a dude I knew there and was like "Maybe I can get back with her blah blah I don't think she's seeing anyone" Hey cut me off mid sentence and said... "Women are like monkeys. They don't let go of one branch until they've got hold of another" And it was the most painfully accurate generalisation I've ever heard. She was seeing someone else. Regarding the 12 days no contact... I'm 9 months into my being single again and it's still painful at times. It comes in waves. Periods of indifference to periods of crystal clear fond memories that just slap you round the face. It's hard. Very hard. What made it harder was me keep making contact. That's the first step on the road to recovery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetpilot Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 P.s If it gets nasty, dont be surprised if she tells you about another fella, it will just be her way of trying to upset you, suck it up, dont react, tell her no problem and you are seeing someone else anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetpilot Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 "Women are like monkeys. They don't let go of one branch until they've got hold of another" I used that very phrase earlier in this thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 "Women are like monkeys. They don't let go of one branch until they've got hold of another" I used that very phrase earlier in this thread So did I! Before you did, too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT350 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 (edited) P.s If it gets nasty, dont be surprised if she tells you about another fella, it will just be her way of trying to upset you, suck it up, dont react, tell her no problem and you are seeing someone else anyway. I wouldn't recommend playing games. It all just descends into playground tactics and, women always win simply because it's much easier for them to grab some random guy, use him for a bit to get one up on you. And that hurts. It'll backfire. Also their friends are much more protective and proactive in helping her win that game than a man's mates are by promulgating certain bits of misinformation. Just let it go mate. Be the better person. Edited February 28, 2017 by TT350 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowhereboy Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 I would never play games, period. I have always hopped things won't get nasty and tried to be as civil as possible throughout everything. It's a complete head twister. My first girlfriend left me and got with someone else straight away, me now ex knows about this and how it affected me and always swore she would never do something so cruel, she always said if she was ever very unhappy she would leave long before someone else was in the picture. We had many long conversations on trust etc, she's been hurt in the past too and always had very strong opinions of people who cheat and use shady behavior in a relationship and break up. The above is why I've stated I don't think there is someone else, you guys are stating to make me think I'm a complete idiot tho. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobbyZ Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Maybe there's someone else, maybe there isn't. Ignore anyone who says they're certain what your ex will do now. At the end of the day, you need to make decisions based on what's best for you, and who she may or may not be shagging makes no difference to that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olly350z Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 (edited) Aye. I finally ended it with my ex when I found out two fellas had been around the week before, at the same time. And it wasnt to help with the plumbing. Its going to happen dude. As we've all said, you are the most important one in your life. And although its not what you want, theres nothing to stop you meeting someone else. As ulrton would say " There are no strings on me" Edited February 28, 2017 by Olly350z Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetpilot Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 you guys are stating to make me think I'm a complete idiot tho. No one is saying you are an idiot buddy, far from it, we are just saying, be prepared for every eventuality, as everyone has said you can only make your own plans, what she does or doesnt do is immaterial now, you cannot pre empt what may happen, make you're plans and tackle things as they come up, but the sooner you address any outstanding issues the better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowhereboy Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 God thats awfull dude. At the same time theres no going back from that so moving forward is the only option and it would be easier in a sense because all hope is gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowhereboy Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 Thanks Jetpilot. Ive obviously came to terms with the fact that she will get with someone else. I was just hoping it would be months down the line when I no longer care as much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetpilot Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 You will find someone that will make her pale into insignificance and you will thank you're lucky stars you split, i promise you that 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowhereboy Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 Thanks mate. I've always been @*!# at break ups, I have a weird personality type, I'm confident, I think I'm a handsome dude , I have a little bit of an ego when it comes to music and what not as often play on stage in front of people but I also have some deep routed insecurities and I'm not even sure how or why. They don't seem to surface until I enter a relationship then they go mental within me. I always thought I managed them quite well in this relationship as I've saw the damage it can cause as I ruined my first relationship because of it. I always felt like I gave my recent ex plenty of space, never bothered her when she was out or at work etc but looking back I was quite needy when she was around me and I can see how this is unattractive. I'm a soft guy once in love but completely reckless when not. I think I need counselling Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetpilot Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Hey it wouldnt hurt mate, certainly no shame in it and if it helps you understand or come to terms with these issues, got to be a win win surely Best of luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowhereboy Posted February 28, 2017 Author Share Posted February 28, 2017 How does one even go about such a thing? NHS? Or would I have to pay for it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetpilot Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Just your gp dude, explain your concerns and they will sort it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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