Emperor Ming

Here we go again LOL Did they give you TWO tickets?? This is not normal practice and no tax is NOT a fixed penalty ticket offence????? A CLE2/6 document is sent to DVLA and they prosecute for tax offences so the police would not issue a ticket! With two or more offences - say two bald tyres - it is either one ticket or a report on summons and a trip to court. this may have changed but not in the SYP area. Why is he a jobsworth?? Did your last mechanic fix a load of bits for nowt?? No you paid for them like everyone else!!!! As a little bit of info. The police get no revenue from the tickets they issue, the vehicles they seize or the monies they recover. The government take it all!! Ming the muddled

Dont often laugh out loud at written jokes but they are priceless. Still giggling now. Ming the happy

Cheeky young whipper snapper. LOL Ming the Ancient

I was reading one of the threads about feeling old and started thinking When I was a kid Threepenny bits = coins A £ = 240 pennies We had 10 bob notes (50p to you whipper snappers) Pound notes half crowns and six pence's. We knew what avoirdupois meant. A Mini clubman estate brand spanking new was £655 (My old man bought one) Most cars wouldn't do 80mph People respected the law and the clip from the bobby even more. Graffitti was done with chalk. Teachers could, and did, hit you. Kids could, and did, go out and PLAY!!!!!! Videos were Betamax or VHS toploaders and had great big silver switches on the front. Telly's were black and white. Pictures had a main feature and a B movie - usually British. Winters were long and VERY cold. Drugs were reserved for Rock Stars You pushed lawn mowers. People really did wash their front step. People walked to the phone box. Mobile phones only existed on Sci Fi movies. Just a few ramblings Ming the Thoughtful

Early import so 'low' 276 bhp engine. Uses NO oil and has 30+ K on the clock. Reasonable grunt and nice revs. If i am honest it does feel as if it wants to rev a little more but there is more push changing up anyway. I would guess that if all three models did a standing 1/4 mile there would be next to nothing in it. Torque = easy drive Revs = involved drive Take your pick. Lastly None of the models are shy of either in the real world Ming the content

I was talking to a council colleague today and he told me the following story. I have no reason to disbelieve any part of it and there was someone else there who confirmed it. Each council area has a set amount of houses and obviously some are better than others. Of those houses suitable for allocation some are in better condition than others. Of the good ones the persons responsible for allocation have favourites. As they put it 'the one I would like to move into'. It was to one of these 'favourites' that a couple were shown too the other day . The house in question is a small coal fire semi with one of the best views in town overlooking green fields and a large reservoir. I would give my eye teeth for the view. This is how it went. the couple turn up and are met by said council official and shown into the premises. Straight away the male points to the windows. "What this?" It is explained that they are wooden framed windows and are in good condition and will eventually be replaced with UPVC "not good. Not good" They go into the kitchen. "What this. What This" says the male pointing at the solid fuel central heating. it is explained to him. "You mean each day I get hand dirty making fire?? Not good" The visit goes on with complaints about several other parts of the house. said male then turns down the house!!! The council are now duty bound to offer them two more houses. The 'joke' is that they are Russian immigrants that have been in the country TWO BLEEDIN WEEKS. They presented themselves as 'homeless' and jumped to the top of a 800 strong queue!!!!!!! All i can say is that if it was me the next house offered would have tinned up windows and a burnt out car in the garden. the one after that would be even worse!! Ming the REALLY REALLY mad!!

As a person who classes himself as a 'good christian' and by that I mean a good person who understands 'christian' values, and not someone who goes to church every day, I wonder what the world is coming too?? I know little about the muslim faith or the importance of the name Mohammed but I fail to see how its use can offend. What if I, as the above described 'christian', decided to call one of my children Mohammed? Is that any different to calling them Jesus or Joseph or Paul or Peter or any of the myriad other names from the bible. I am a firm believer in abiding by the rules of which ever country you are living but I am also a firm believer in tolerance and that is, in my opinion, what has been lost here. I am sure a few words of advice and a written apology would have cleared this problem in a 'tolerant' way. Ming the considered

try that lever over by the passenger seat. All you have to do is pull it up hard. then take it out of gear and that horrid smell will go away. So will all the noises and that lovely Mr Clutch will last lots lots longer!! Ming the helpful PS If you are struggling with the above look in the hand book under . . . HANDBRAKE

Hi I would say that the clutch on the car you test drove was either badly adjusted or badly worn as the biting point on my car is normal. Much higher that the Celica I also drive! Ming the curious

Buy a coupe. Enough space for an Asda shop. LOL If two seats is a genuine problem then its the wrong car!! I guess that as you are asking its not that big an issue. My Zed is my every day car and is regularly 'stolen' by the wife. Reliability is great and there is no problem with the clutch. It is not as light as the wife's Celica but she drives the zed for hours no problem. Ming the Daily Driver

Top car!!!! I hope he got the 5.7 hemi engined one though - 2 ton and 0-60 in a tad over 6 seconds. That's SERIOUS grunt. The diesel is however no slouch if its the 3 litre V6. Not over keen on the wheels but other than that top car. I actually considered one myself but Mrs Ming got the Hump. If his wife does get all nasty with him at least he is big enough to look after himself LOL. Ming the Odd PS If i had one they would think I had switched sides

I might be getting old but VBH getting her rear end sideways in a Zed will do for Mr Ming. Obviously all you guys are 32 waisted 46 chested addonises with 6 packs and glistening muscles to be so critical. LOL Ming the Happy

His bud wasn't priceless mate. Just £120 an ounce. LOL He's got to come back and see Mr Ming again later so I might tack that on for good measure then but a driving licence aint a lot of use in the pokey Ming the Nasty

Here's something that happened yesterday that made me laugh. I will give you the moral of the story first though. Moral : Don't use your phone whilst driving your car Why I shall tell you why! A guy is driving don the road at 8:30pm with his mate in the car happily chatting on his phone when PC Plod sees him. PC Plod stops him and is a little surprised when said driver jumps out of his car. PC Plod leans into car and detects a noticeable and distinct smell. PC Plod gets suspicious and searches the car and finds several bags of a well known green stuff. Poor old driver gets his collar felt. Round one to plod Said PC plod decides that as it is a quiet night and they have a couple of hours to kill that they will have a little look around said drug dealers house. Into the living room they wander and see three plants of a certain genus happily waving their 7 pronged leaves in front of the fire feeling all well tended for and fed. Horrible PC Plod grasps said gardeners delight and unceremoniously yanks them from their pot. Round two to plod. PC Plod gets a little more enthusiastic now and wanders around this gardeners paradise. Plants in the shed, plants in the second shed, bud in the cupboard, cash in the safe, growing equipment everywhere. Round three to plod. To cap it off the poor hapless dealer had to be interviewed today --- BY ME 44 minutes saw a full and frank admission to possession, possession with intent, dealing , having dealt, and admissions that most of the £1500 we seized was from selling drugs. Remember. If you have something to hide DON'T drive and use your phone!!!!! Ming the Smiling assassin

This is interesting since Mr Hughes is My boss!! If you or I got caught doing 90 in a 60 we would be looking at an endorsement of 3 points and a £60 fine or possibly as it is 50% over the limit possibly a 1 month ban!! It will be interesting to see what actually happens!! Ming the Interested

Mudguards every time. Mine came with them but really finish the vehicle off both front and rear! All I need is a rear lip now and I will be happy! Ming the Considered

Just washed and cleaned mine. Managed to polish HALF of it and then it rained. LOL Hope it clears tomorrow so I can do the other half. Ming the frustrated.

Three possible solutions. 1. Get a loud exhaust. 2. Turn the stereo up. 3. Ignore it as its the fuel pump. I guess its three as mine does it as well if I drive REAL carefully (It allows me to hear above 1 and not listen to 2.) Get out and liberate those horses! Ming the Bored (Its raining and Mrs Ming is out playing poker in a big tournament)

Mine uses NOWT!!!!!!!!!! The sort of consumption you are talking about is NOT acceptable, certainly not in a NEW engine. Kick scream and generally misbehave until SOMEONE listens. Ming the considered

Sunbeam = care with blown engine and a NEED for a replacement Anything would do! Interesting car with 1725 engine and overdrive in third and fourth. Just remembered that I had a fiat 132 GLS before the sunbeam and it was the fiat that dumped a cam belt. Heap of crap that went like a rocket. The protons were during the wife and kids stage and came with long warranties and free servicing. The only problem was they were worth **** all when it came time to sell em. Hence the need to buy another! Saying all that they had 1500 mitsubishi engines and the body was a straight lift from the colt sigma so not all bad. Ming the Settled

49 mate. But a hard paper round!! LOL Ming the Old

Welcome form the Mingster. Don't take anything anyone say personally and expect EVERY thread to be hijacked and deviated. Its fun here Ming the Relaxed

Bikes Suzuki TS 100 Honda CL250 Honda CB400 Yamaha XS650 Moto Guzzi 850 (Le mans) Suzuki TS 100 Honda CB900 Honda C90 LOL Suzuki GN400 GPz1100 GPz 1260 (The above 1100 street fightered.) Kawasaki Z650 Cars Hillman Hunter 1500 Ford cortina MK3 1300cc Rover 2200sc Sunbeam Rapier 1725 Mk1 ford Escort 1300 Peugeot 504 Estate (7 seater) Vauxhall Cavalier 1600 hatch Austin Montego 1600 Proton 1500 Proton 1500 Proton 1500 Skoda Estelle 1300 LSE Jaguar XJ6 4.2 (long wheel base in red Lovely car that kept breaking) Grenada 2 litre Audi90 2.2 Ford escort 1300 Mitsubishi GTO TT Honda 1600 civic VTec XK8 Jaguar Nissan 350Z Its odd. I had as much fun on the C90 honda as I did on the 1260 street fighter (a proper monster bike in all ways) and my little skoda estelle was a life saver for me at a bad time in my life and will always have a fond place in my affections. Ming the Odd

Mings opinion. Get the engine to an independent examiner quickly before the garage gets rid of the evidence. A crank and engine that has seized through lack of oil would, i am sure, show signs of heat damage that would not be present in a normally lubricated engine. I just cannot see how a 65,000 mile engine could implode with such violence to itself without some major failing. This sort of damage is usually reserved for FI engines running big BHP , not under stressed standard engines like ours. What do they claim to have done on the service? The 'spoon' replies you are getting including the garbage about SLANDER are indicative of someone with something to hide in my professional opinion. A lot of these places get aggressive to try and put the average punter off from complaining. Any engine that comes away from a service at a dealership or other reputable garage and BLOWS UP a few miles later, especially when they left a torch under the bonnet and didn't find split windscreen wipers MUST be suspect. I personally COULD NOT let this go!! Good luck which ever way you decide to go on this and I think you labour bill sounds VERY reasonable! Good luck and keep us posted Ming the very interested

To say that this is suspicious is an understatement!!!! Now that you know that you did not have a dud battery why would your neighbour disconnect it?? Did you check the mileage before you went away? Had it done any miles? Had it moved? I would be tempted to make discreet enquiries with other neighbours to see if anything comes to light. Out of curiosity how many miles had the engine done. Even on total neglect mode and with poor oil changes and service I would expect it to last 70 or 80 thousand before this sort of carnage. It is hard to imagine what sort of problem could cause the engine to trash itself in this way! On the engine front I am not sure about the fitment - I am sure Nissan could access the data, from Japan if necessary, for you to confirm it - but the price looks quite reasonable, especially given the mileage. I hope that things go a little better for you now. Ming the Hopeful