twobears

Thanks Colin I think my original ad must have been too long ago because it doesn't show up on my searches. I can go back to October 2013 but no further. It's ok, I can write another ad.

Thanks Ken. Will give that a go

Um, at the risk of sounding stupid yet again, please can some kind person explain how I can find one of my own forum posts again? It must have been a year or more since I made it and it was a "For Sale ad" for my Zed. I need to plagiarise it so would love to find it again

"If I happen to be out and about when I have a day off I see a lot of what I suppose would be described as housewives. From what I can tell it seems to entail aimlessly trundling their brats around in push chairs, meeting other 'housewives' who are also pushing their brats around, stopping at a trendy cafe for a coffee and to talk about the little brats (nothing else), having a leisurely wander round the shops etc. It doesn't look especially taxing to me. And of course the rest of us have to do all the other so called 'housewife' activities - keeping the place clean etc. - when we get home from proper work! " Bloody hell I don't wheel infants around, now that would be hard work!! Being a housewife is brilliant and I am ideally suited to the post. I am fabulous at spending money daaahling and having an IQ in single figures really helps too

Well, apart from the topless ironing which one of my young male staff members told me I could do when I said that I needed more money (and I rejected on health and safety grounds ) I have never been a desperate housewife I don't think. I haven't got a telly so am not quite sure what it entails but I think I might be guessing correctly.

Er, have I said something funny again by mistake?

I'm a housewife so I suppose I should be wielding a feather duster around or something but I'd rather do interesting things instead

Yes, I agree. I definitely need to find out if I can drive it and if I actually like it. I love the way it looks but it's no good if I am not happy driving the thing when I finally get it. It's far from a done deal anyway as Mr TwoBears keeps looking at other cars and suggesting alternatives for me, plus I don't think there are any available to buy yet at sensible prices? I'm not very good at this sort of thing to be honest. I prefer it when things are straightforward and simple

Thank you Gudzy I'd got as far as M for mid for the engine but I didn't understand the significance of the R Still the same answer then, no, I've never driven a mid engined car in my life and that's another reason why I won't know if I want one until I've had a test drive.

I don't think so because I don't know what one is Hugh, will it look like a Spider? That is a nice looking car.

Well I will probably like it if it is as pretty as the 4C I suppose. I am still banned from test driving the Alfa because, apparently, I cannot be trusted so I won't know if I really want it until I can. I've sat in it and gone 'brum brum' to myself but it's not really the same.

But I don't know what that will look like

I'm a middle-aged woman and I am a bit ambivalent about it - the car I mean, not about being either a woman or middle-aged It looks great from the front and side but I really don't like the rear view. Maybe my husband is actually a middle-aged woman in disguise because he really loves it and is trying to talk me out of the 4C that I have my heart set on? There again, maybe he's thinking of the money he will save if he re-directs my ambition towards the Mazda?

Very funny Graham. Not I am old enough to remember those. I always hated them. So ugly

Argh, keep the clown away from me someone Seriously, he is a nice clown ... as clowns go and he helped me with my mac problems

Flex, that sounds like a bit of a nightmare Hope you get some better tenants next time round. sipar, your garden is beautiful I think Mr Two Bears and I are pretty good tenants, even though this is our first attempt at renting. The landlord had turned down a couple of people before we moved in according to the neighbour who likes to involve himself in everything. Apparently one had children and one was pregnant and landlord didn't want children in the flat. Not sure if that is legal or not but from a selfish point of view I'm glad because it's a lovely flat. I keep everything very clean and have ordered new curtains and furniture etc. Nothing wrong with the existing ones but not my colour/taste and I've stored landlord's things away safely. Not allowed to decorate, unfortunately or I would.

I've got coulrophobia so I'm scared

Aha, it was a Maserati. Thank you It was very nice but then again it would be wouldn't it?

What sort of car, if any, has a sort of princess crown badge? One drove past me when I was out today and I wasn't sure if it was an 'optional extra' or the actual car badge. It was on the front grille. Yours, Puzzled of Weybridge

rabbitstew, I consider myself lucky after reading about your neighbour's wife. I'm afraid I'd be putting up a fence too. Or perhaps digging a trench! Flex, not sure where your erm, "Sex Dungeon" is but please don't even think about buying my neighbour's flat

Little Lord Fauntleroys you say? Can't you just point and laugh at their velvet knickerbockers? Surely that will shut them up?

I could have filmed a similar video to that from my third floor flat in Madrid several times a day Alex You are right Pete, I can't wait to get back to my Yorkshire field. It's a haven of peace and no-one can get near my cars there or I'd set the dogs on them - did I mention that I have a whippet and a chihuahua?

Weirdly the woman I'm talking about crashed the Merc into something and pulled half the bumper off a couple of weeks ago - wonder why that was? She got an Aygo as a courtesy car (garage must have had more faith in her than I have) and she revved that until I wanted to scream. I imagine she gets through more than her fair share of clutches too. Must also state again that her husband is just as bad. Maybe one of them 'taught' the other to drive?

Petty complaint I know but the woman who parks to one side of my car when I am in Surrey (living in a flat with dedicated parking spaces) is driving me mad with her lack of driving skills Every time she sets off in her car (some sort of Merc people carrier thingy) she revs and revs the thing. I am not a brilliant driver so I probably shouldn't criticise but I keep wondering why she is doing this and why her driving never seems to improve? She takes about 4/5 attempts to park the thing as well although even I can park Mr Z in an identical space in one seamless manoeuvre, which leads to more and more futile and noisy revving as she shunts backwards and forwards. I have taken to parking virtually on top of a flower bed so that she can't get too close to my car and have put Mr Zedders safely in the garage because once she finally comes to a halt and switches the bloody engine off she invariably flings open her door without regard for the cars on either side of her. Her car is black and mine is white so I am dreading going out to find bits of black paint on the side of it or, even worse, dents The odd thing is that her husband is just as incompetent a driver Yesterday he flung open his door, again after much unnecessary revving and manoeuvring back and forth and I heard a loud clunk as he hit the rather smart Mini he'd parked next to. He didn't seem to care in the least. Fortunately they are moving soon so I am keeping my fingers crossed for better drivers as new neighbours because I feel quite stressed by this clumsy pair Rant over. Feel better now, especially as I'm off home to Yorkshire tonight and I have enough room there to park 10 cars on my drive. I live in the middle of a field too so no-one can touch my paintwork

I've only just read this but I am so sorry to hear your news You sound like a lovely, caring owner so Tia will have had a good life with you.