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Last thing you need when you cant sleep


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Some years ago now I stayed in a Motel in a place called Needles in California. It was extremely hot but the pool was open until midnight (it was still 36 degrees). When we returned to our room we had been invaded with a species of flying chafer, very similar to this. About 1"1/2 long, not very nice at all. They were mainly on the carpet with a few on the wall about a dozen in all. Couldn't possibly sleep until I'd managed to throw out all the ones I could find.

 

Feldmaik%C3%A4fer_%28Melolontha_melolontha%29_w_3.jpg

 

 

Pete

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Try and say this next line before I tell my story like an old American ex Vet Soldier...

 

 

'I've seen some thingsssss....'

 

Today was the day, a man came to collect and buy our old conservatory.

This conservatory has been sat in our garden dismantled for the best part of a year.

 

My god I wanted to kill myself!!! There were hundreds all shapes and sizes. Basically the man had to life most of it on his own :lol:

 

I wanted to curl up in to a ball and cry :(

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Then you need two cats.

 

That's what my two do: Zelda catches and kills, Geldof eats.

 

I never understand that. We have 3 cats and they are the same, they would much rather torture a hairy spider to death then eat it than eat a bowl of their lovely expensive cat food.

 

Its always interesting though walking down stairs half asleep this time of year as very often they will kill some massive spider then leave its body lying in the hallway, so you never really know if its dead or not. The cats usually sit there watching me laughing as I stagger half asleep down the stairs at 6am, see the spider and promptly jump about 4 foot.

 

I also like spiders...don't bother me at all, trouble is the wife doesn't to the extent that if she spots a spider anywhere in the bedroom or bathroom she has me balancing on bits of furniture trying to catch them...not fun when you just want to climb into bed and sleep,

however probably quite amusing when I have just got undressed.. and I'm bolock naked perched on a chest of draws trying to pounce on an unsuspecting spider.. :lol:

 

Haha, reminds me of that time I used my wifes car to shift about half a ton of scrap metal. I assured her no spiders were in amongst the scrap which had been left in my old dusty shed for years... :lol: Anyway, next day, she gets up early at 6am to get to work, opens her car door and its like spiderman has been going mad, cobwebs everywhere. She screams and starts ringing the door bell frantically to wake me up.

 

I think theres a fire going on or something so stagger down the stairs and outside in just my pants to see what the emergency is. The wife is going absolutely apeshit pointing at the her car. I re-assure her its probably some little spider, so open her door and sods law, this MASSIVE spider drops out and runs off. It was so big even the cat looked worried. At this point, the wife now starts screaming even louder whilst shes jumping up & down and demands I kill the spider.

 

As if things couldnt get worse, at that moment our neighbours come out to see what the noise is all about only to see my wife jumping up & down screaming and me on my hands and knees, crawling around the drive in my just my pants trying to find this f'ing spider. Complete madness.

 

Not only that, the wife then refused to let me go back in the house until id hoovered her car out in case the spider had any relations in there. I can only imagine that the neighbours thought we were doing some sort of dominatrix role play or something....

Edited by rabbitstew
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