Liked the Jonathan Ross one.
Local Police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter' , who has stabbed six people in the last 48 hours , believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern..
The wife was counting all the 5p's and 10p's out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself , "She's going through the change."
When I was in the pub I heard a couple of plonkas saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman.
What a pair of sexists. I mean , it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloody thing!