The Seasider

Be careful dealing heavily with children however effing annoying they are - I was involved in an incident with a group of kids on a local estate a couple of years back that left me expecting a knock on the door from the local constabulary - which fortunately never came. I was driving along in the snow and ice when I heard a massive bang on the side of my car - I slammed on and a quick scan around the scene seemed to point to a group of kids having thrown something at me. I got out of the car and started walking towards them talking in my sternest Ray Winstone voice expecting that they would sh1t themselves and scatter - instead they started pelting me with snow balls, which was poorly judged, so I started running at them and this did make some of them dispserse but one or two just stood there and let me get to them - I managed to stop myself throwing any punches, but what do you do when you catch a child that threw a snowball at your car? I pushed them about a bit and made a point or two - they apologised in a fashion so i walked away. Unfortunately, one of the little tw@ts must have been Freddy Flintoft's nephew because just when I put my hand on my car door handle I got caught on the back of the head by a ball of ice - which although it had great comedy value - unfortunately sent the red mist into a full blood boil and so I jumped in the car - which had 4wd - and chased the buggers back into their estate with the engine racing, wheels spinning, tail sliding like something out of the Sweeney. The really worrying thing was that I was driving the car at them - I was so bloody mad - and then it started to dawn on me that a 50 year old grey haired bloke probably isn't that scary in that part of town and however cross I was it probably didn't excuse me using my car as a weapon against a bunch of teenagers! It also occurred to me that it all could have ended very badly if I'd hit one of them or worse, actually had to fight with anyone - as it's about 30 years since my last bout! I don't know? What do you do? Why shouldn't you stand up for yourself and protect yourselves and your possessions against anyone - if they think they're big enough to 'take on' the adult I'd say it makes them fair game. I know it wouldn't look good on the charge sheet though!

Nothing wrong with dreams they're the raw material of your future reality

Not trying to shatter your dreams as obviously somebody has to get the work but I think it would be folly to launch yourself into it full time without building up a bit of a portfolio of regular customers. I think you'd might need to increase the scope of your offering to include less high end stuff - maybe a bit of PDR, alloy refurbs, paint repairs etc - as detailing work that pays is pretty hard to find and is pretty time intensive. I know hundreds of mid to high net worth individuals in my area through work and I don't know many who use detailers. And because by definition - if you do a good job, you may not see a car for 6 months you will need to find a lot of customers. As somebody said go and do some training - there are firms who will teach you detailing, PDR and paint repairs.

One other thing that could help the bass problem is to connect one of the bass/mid speakers out of phase - this can help where speakers are facing each other as the cones will move in sympathy rather than opposing each other. A lot of people do this when they install subs.

Your comments would suggest that you may need to attenuate the tweeter - reduce its level - the muddy bass could be a symptom of either slack fitting or too much compensation at the head unit. You said you had all the eq flat - you maybe need to fiddle with the controls to get what you are looking for tonally and then address the issues it suggests. I had a Subaru wrx that i upgraded all of the speakers on - using the oem head unit - and I had to run it with some weird settings to balance the sound to my taste - something like + 3 bass and - 4 treble to make it sound flat, there was far too much energy going to the tweeter even on the lowest level setting, whilst the oem head unit obviously didn't have enough beans to move the cones on the higher quality bass/mid units.

I have a range of monza pads & menzerna polishes (which are described in #2 of the detailing world link) which have always worked well for me. You'll do well to b@llocks it up with a DA - it takes a while to judge the pad/polish combination but always go cautious as you can polish twice but can't put paint back on! It needs to be clean and ideally clayed first, I now use a clay mitt which is much easier, quicker and is 90% as good as a clay bar. Make sure that you mask off all trims and sharp bits. Above all, be patient - it will take hours to do a whole car. I often do the flat surfaces one day and do the sides another day. Also, consider wearing ear protection as your ears can ring for hours afterwards if you don't!

And so it became known as the parallel universe - the land where reality stood still and let the dreamers run around it til they got dizzy

Yup, all the same.

Aw, and I was real excited to find out how the bonnet touch up had gone only to find myself three spliffs behind the other contributors

So, how did it finish up?

Sh!t, how much is one of those? I'm dreading the day mine needs replacing. Do you get after market ones like you do on MX5s?

Getting back to the original musing... It is strange that it doesn't seem to be regarded anything like as seriously when a female teacher seduces a pupil. There used to be a female stand up comedian on the circuit who became a comedian when she was discovered having an affair with a pupil at her school - just got asked to leave, no disciplinary, no police, no sex offenders register - she used to talk about it in her act. I know one thing, if there had of been any hot female teachers at my school and they'd have come on to me - I'd have kept the secret if they ever asked me to 'show them where she touched me on the doll' !

I can't sit comfortably when my £7k Zed is parked in a busy car park - what must you feel like with that sort of money sat pray to careless door openers, supermarket trolleys and muppets with keys? I gave another £100 to the PDR man yesterday!

Speaking from recent experience of messing about with wheel/tyre sizes - isn't this set up going to cause havoc with the car's electronics? TC/ABS? Also, I'd change the rubbing tyres sooner rather than later - if they are relatively new, you will recover most of the cost on ebay.

I don't always bother with the clear coat - as you say there's nowhere for it to go now. It polishes up. If it's only a temporary fix I don't suppose the finish will dull by next year.

I've had mixed experience with budget tyres - it really depends on how 'budget' they are! I bought a car with Sunny Tyres on and they were pants - real ditch finders. I had a car with Nankangs on that were very interesting in the wet but absolutely fine in the dry. I recently had a car with Wanli tyres on and they were good but noisy. My coupe zed had jinyi tyres on which again were okay in dry but a bit touchy in the wet. My roadster has a pair of Accellera tyres on the front - which I was advised are a copy of the tread pattern of continental contisports - they have been on for nearly 3 years and have been spot on - and we're cheap as chips. I'm just about to put the roadster on a set of very lightly used continental contisport 5's which I collected for £280. - 2 are unused and 2 have 6.5mm on. This is what I tend to do now is but part worns. Being very careful of course. I've had a couple of pisstakes over the years but if you know your consumer law you usually get something sorted with them ;-).

I just did mine ford atlas grey - which looks excellent.

I think I would have lied and said it was something else not mentioned in the previous 38 posts - it was a pretty clear, consensus view that you seemed to ignore until you had eliminated every other possibility!

That is the funniest thing I've seen for a long time - I'm going straight out to replicate this in vinyl on my vehicle I hope no elderly neighbours are looking out of the window!

I have mixed clear with the paint an thinners in the past but (1) it seems to change the colour (dilution?) (2) it makes the paint rock hard when you have to sand it down! I never use anything finer than 2500 but 1200 is easy to handle. Just because the touch up stick is official - it doesn't guarantee a match in my experience. I'm sure others will vouch for this too.

Raceglaze & autobrite do great specialist cleaners - having tried initially to keep my white alcantara seats on my RX8 clean with soap and water - this stuff was worth it's weight in gold. If you are going to keep the car for a while - money well spent.

Pity you're not 200+ miles away! I'd have loved to have helped you out - I'm pretty good on scratches and it would have been a challenge. My tuppence worth would be to go and buy 100/200 ml of proper paint and cellulose thinners from a motor factor rather than use a touch up stick. Mix small batches (it goes claggy and unworkable after a few minutes) 60:40 paint to thinner and trying to confine it to the scratches - work lines of paint down the line of the scratch aiming for it to be well proud - as the level will drop when the thinners evaporate. Be really patient and let it dry for about 2 days in this weather before very, very gently working a small block covered in wet and dry and water down the scratch from 600 down to 1200 grit til it's level. It will look like you've killed your car but a bit of compound, polish and wax and it will hopefully look something like to get you through till you can do a proper job. As I say, wish I could be there.

That's what he should do, CRB. Point well made.

I'd say that if there's nothing you really want - hang on in there - it should only appreciate. If there's something you'd really like - and it doesn't have to be a car - and the sale would make it happen, then it's a great time to cash in. Head v heart - tish!

Is that the derelict hall that the Rolling Stones used on one of their album covers?