Neilp Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 So, driving home along some great country roads at an even 60mph, plenty of straights and bends etc... I get caught up by a bright green Dawoo Matiz, occupied by three lads. Nothing against other people's cars though, just the morons driving them, especially when they tailgate, despite being unable to overtake. These jokers were itching to get round me, but weren't keeping up in the twisties and didn't have the power for the straights and could only catch up. Well they've pi**ed me off so I ain't slowing down for them to pass, and I ain't speeding up - why should I? So they finally get a half chance to pass and 'floor it' so despite a powerful urge to speed up a bit to keep them where they belong, I decided to let it go and let them pass. They got just about level with me when what I thought would happen, did happen - oncoming traffic turns the next corner. As much as I'd love to see them crash and burn, not really fair on the other guy - so I brake giving them room to get back in. They subsequently slam on the anchors to avoid hitting the queue of slow traffic ahead which they hadn't factored in. But they got past a ZED!!!! WHOO HOO!!!! Am I the only one who thinks that you were smoked by a Daewoo Matiz Only joking. Hahahaha I never thought about that it's a goodun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rtbiscuit Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 i know this is wrong but i know where the big breaking bar is kept in my car i would never go starting trouble nor go looking for it, but i'm not going to be pushed about by a half wit retard. (i know its the wrong attitude and i don't condone it but thats me; and i know i'm wrong) people think they have big balls when they are in there car, i've watched a bloke get out of his car and on each step you can see his testicles shrink as he gets clsoer to the other vehicle and you know he's thinking "what the hell am i doing" he got about as far as the rear of my car before he changed his mind and got back in his own car and drove off. i hasten to add it wasn't my fault he was the moron but still decided to try it on i'd also like to add my own humble brag like the others above have i don't go to the gym, but i am a big git built like a brick out house (used to be a forward in rugby(my nick name was steamtrain ) and i used to box and be a doorman) also my genitals are of above average size and i'm extremely fertile Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neilp Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 i know this is wrong but i know where the big breaking bar is kept in my car i would never go starting trouble nor go looking for it, but i'm not going to be pushed about by a half wit retard. (i know its the wrong attitude and i don't condone it but thats me; and i know i'm wrong) people think they have big balls when they are in there car, i've watched a bloke get out of his car and on each step you can see his testicles shrink as he gets clsoer to the other vehicle and you know he's thinking "what the hell am i doing" he got about as far as the rear of my car before he changed his mind and got back in his own car and drove off. i hasten to add it wasn't my fault he was the moron but still decided to try it on i'd also like to add my own humble brag like the others above have i don't go to the gym, but i am a big git built like a brick out house (used to be a forward in rugby(my nick name was steamtrain ) and i used to box and be a doorman) also my genitals are of above average size and i'm extremely fertile Lol loving it, i was a flanker in disguise, I played rear but i was fast and still 15 stone of muscle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfman Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 also my genitals are of above average size and i'm extremely fertile There's a piston heads thread with your name on it Rich, Go visit Just incase anyone missed the epic piston heads thread http://www.pistonheads.co.uk/gassing/to ... ncy.&mid=0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neilp Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 also my genitals are of above average size and i'm extremely fertile There's a piston heads thread with your name on it Rich, Go visit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blacky Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Am I the only one who thinks that you were smoked by a Daewoo Matiz Only joking. No but didn't want to be the first to say it. Never ever been overtaken by a Matiz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevo1179 Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Since owning my Zed (which I'm smitten with) I've lost count of the toothless simpletons driving Saxo's, Corsa's and the like trying to look like big men by overtaking me, oblivious to the fact I'm ticking over in 6th gear, and have no interest in wasting my time with this sort of thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevo1179 Posted March 29, 2011 Share Posted March 29, 2011 Since owning my Zed (which I'm smitten with) I've lost count of the toothless simpletons driving Saxo's, Corsa's and the like trying to look like big men by overtaking me, oblivious to the fact I'm ticking over in 6th gear, and have no interest in wasting my time with this sort of thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evest Posted March 30, 2011 Author Share Posted March 30, 2011 Am I the only one who thinks that you were smoked by a Daewoo Matiz Only joking. Good try my friend - but this fish ain't biting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldel Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I don't own a 350z yet but last year I got a brand new black Scirocco company car. It looks very sleek and very fast and all of a sudden I attracted all these silly little kids in crapmobiles. Some plonker in a Citroen C1 tailgating me in country lanes, I was at the back of a queue of cars and everytime he tried to overtake the car hit a 1 degree gradient and wouldnt go over 50, it was utterly ridiculous. In the end he turned right at a roundabout going round it on the outside on literally two wheels and cutting up anyone in his path. This guy is was a first class nugget and I suspect has already been removed from the human gene pool. Fortunately I am not as mad as my dad, who has been a car mechanic for 40 years working in east london, having been picking up gearboxes and axles for many a decade is hard as nails. Two local thugs who thought they were hard mugged my brother, dad found out and went 'hunting them', found them in a playing field some miles away so he drove through the fence to the field in the van with half his stuff dropping out the back where the door came loose, caught them up, jumped out, held one down with a boot on his head whilst he picked the other one up by the neck and gave them an 'education' about treating people with respect, and yes, they did cry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rtbiscuit Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Fortunately I am not as mad as my dad, who has been a car mechanic for 40 years working in east london, having been picking up gearboxes and axles for many a decade is hard as nails. Two local thugs who thought they were hard mugged my brother, dad found out and went 'hunting them', found them in a playing field some miles away so he drove through the fence to the field in the van with half his stuff dropping out the back where the door came loose, caught them up, jumped out, held one down with a boot on his head whilst he picked the other one up by the neck and gave them an 'education' about treating people with respect, and yes, they did cry. i shouldn't laugh, but i wish i was there to see that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R35LEE Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Carry a fake sheriffs badge in the car and flash it at chavs when they do mature stuff like this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldel Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I got a call from my brother who said he had taken off looking for them, so I drove around trying to find dad and just found a van shaped hole in a wooden fence so got out the car and followed on foot picking up this trail of spanners and other various tools until I came across the scene, just in time to see them start crying. Priceless. I too also believe in Karma. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Husky Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I bet you flash your sheffirs badge at all the men when they try to touch you lee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rtbiscuit Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I bet you flash your sheffirs badge at all the men when they try to touch you lee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldel Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Carry a fake sheriffs badge in the car and flash it at chavs when they do mature stuff like this Once my mate and I were on an A road at night, a road that goes from one to two lanes and back to one at various points. Some silly boys were tailgating and as soon as we hit a two lane section they drove by and flicked the V's and then proceeded to lean out the window and SPIT onto my mates car. He remained surprisingly calm, then as they sped up to drive off he reached down to the door pocket and produced a little blue LED torch which had a wrist cord attached. He switched it on, grabbed it by the cord, wound the window down, held it out the window above the car and started spinning it round and round by the cord. I guess from their point of view all they could see were headlights and a flashing blue light on an unmarked car The car ahead then immediately hammered on the brakes, and pulled to a stop by the side of the road. We just drove by and blanked them. They didn't try tailgating us again. Illegal, but genuis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozz Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Carry a fake sheriffs badge in the car and flash it at chavs when they do mature stuff like this Once my mate and I were on an A road at night, a road that goes from one to two lanes and back to one at various points. Some silly boys were tailgating and as soon as we hit a two lane section they drove by and flicked the V's and then proceeded to lean out the window and SPIT onto my mates car. He remained surprisingly calm, then as they sped up to drive off he reached down to the door pocket and produced a little blue LED torch which had a wrist cord attached. He switched it on, grabbed it by the cord, wound the window down, held it out the window above the car and started spinning it round and round by the cord. I guess from their point of view all they could see were headlights and a flashing blue light on an unmarked car The car ahead then immediately hammered on the brakes, and pulled to a stop by the side of the road. We just drove by and blanked them. They didn't try tailgating us again. Illegal, but genuis. Did he make siren noises as well? That would be awesome driving past then swing a torch screaming WAH WAH WAH WAH. I had an ex-police MV6 omega once with all the wiring intact in grill, was very tempted to connect it back up! Incidently, one of the cheapest (£300) and nicest car to drive I've ever owned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldel Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Haha no noises, the light was sufficient to scare the crap out of them and make sure they learned a lesson... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pedro Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 There are some weirdos out there, unfortunately the nicer car you drive the more you seem to attract. I've noticed an increase in c**ts since having my Zed. I went straight on at a roundabout which was a dual carriageway and you can go straight or right being in the right hand lane. I went straight on rather than sitting behind 8 cars in the left lane, some bloke in the left lane after the roundabout almost pulled out into the side of me as he didn't look nor indicate and apparently, it was my fault by the gestures he was giving. Now, it did annoy me as it was Monday morning which never puts anyone in a good mood so after a few rude signals I gave one back; anyway he kept doing it and I pulled into the left lane at 70mph where as he then took the opportunity to hurl abuse when he got level with me all the way down the carriageway wanting me to pull over etc... anyway he eventually went on his merry way. Maybe it is a coincidence since having the Zed that people seem a lot more ignorant and mental on the roads? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldel Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I find the right hand lane-straight on thing a bit of a tricky one actually. On my way to work the single road splits at some lights where you can turn right or go straight on. What gets my goat a bit is when someone is sat on the right with right indicator on stuck there waiting for the traffic coming the other way to clear so can turn right but also blocking any chance of using the right hand lane to go straight on. So the rest of us going straight on use the left lane, common sense you might think. Then you get the plant life who look at the situation and then just drive past everyone down the right side then stick on their left indicator and start trying to get back into the left lane at the front of the queue. Thus blocking anyone else who wants to go right and causing the freeflowing left lane to slow down to let him in. I often find myself muttering "common sense isn't common" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evest Posted March 30, 2011 Author Share Posted March 30, 2011 SAME THREAD - MORON NUMBER 2!! (but at least no abuse this time!) Got to do full emergency test of my brakes today...I'm pleased to find them in good order. Going round roundabout, in correct lane, indicator on to exit - Peugeot 106 containing 'flat cap' approaches next entrance. Methinks, he won't be able to get on the roundabout before I pass, surely he's going to slow down, he slows down a bit, no, no, decided to floor it - didn't even look properly or see me! I slam on as he pulls out in front of me - then in typical style, rather than continue ahead to pass me, he decides slam on as well to stop right where I will be. We come to a stop with about a metre between us. I didn't honk, flash or shout abuse, I just waved him to carry on out of my way - I guess everyone makes mistakes... He actually gave me the thumbs up - yeah, you're welcome mate... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ricey Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Even if it was a fistfight you took a tool. Neil's first day at school Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cragus Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Lol loving it, i was a w@nker in disguise, I played in the rear but I was fast and lasted 15 seconds You're a big pansy Neil! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cragus Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 Carry a fake sheriffs badge in the car and flash it at chavs when they do mature stuff like this You show those chavs, R35LEE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cragus Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 I don't own a 350z yet but last year I got a brand new black Scirocco company car. It looks very sleek and very fast and all of a sudden I attracted all these silly little kids in crapmobiles. Some plonker in a Citroen C1 tailgating me in country lanes, I was at the back of a queue of cars and everytime he tried to overtake the car hit a 1 degree gradient and wouldnt go over 50, it was utterly ridiculous. In the end he turned right at a roundabout going round it on the outside on literally two wheels and cutting up anyone in his path. This guy is was a first class nugget and I suspect has already been removed from the human gene pool. Fortunately I am not as mad as my dad, who has been a car mechanic for 40 years working in east london, having been picking up gearboxes and axles for many a decade is hard as nails. Two local thugs who thought they were hard mugged my brother, dad found out and went 'hunting them', found them in a playing field some miles away so he drove through the fence to the field in the van with half his stuff dropping out the back where the door came loose, caught them up, jumped out, held one down with a boot on his head whilst he picked the other one up by the neck and gave them an 'education' about treating people with respect, and yes, they did cry. Your dad is a legend, Liam Neeson style . I wish you had filmed this - any chance he could do this again for the cameras? ......my dad could still beat him up though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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