Women's guide to men

[Cragus]

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "

ON PURPOSE!

 

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

 

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon

or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.

 

1. Crying is blackmail.

 

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

 

 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.

 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one !

 

1. You can either ask us to do something

Or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

 

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

 

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

We do that.

 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey.

 

1. You have enough clothes.

 

1. You have too many shoes.

 

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

[mattbowey]

lol, brilliant, might send this to the ex...

[Chilli Red]

1. You have enough clothes.

 

1. You have too many shoes.

 

 

Never

[mattbowey]

1. You have enough clothes.

 

1. You have too many shoes.

 

 

Never

 

[Vik54]

[Neilp]

It's a goodun

[Matt L]

holy thread revival batman....

 

but still @ all of those.

[Husky]

 

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

 

its funny becasue its true!

[nixy]

Just ask them to bring back the success of marriage thread and you will see that everything you say is futile! Isn't that right Vik?

[sparky370z]

i totally agree with number 1!

[rtbiscuit]

nixy we already worked this out over the 3 threads, women are inferior to men so just live with it.

 

why else would we earn more for the same job if it wasn't for the fact that we're just generally better.

[Husky]

sent this to a "couple" of people at work, we use google mail, google mail selected what it thought was an appropriate mailing list to send it to. I await redundancy

[sparky370z]

nixy we already worked this out over the 3 threads, women are inferior to men so just live with it.

 

why else would we earn more for the same job if it wasn't for the fact that we're just generally better.

 

oh crap! there is gonna be fireworks.

 

 

in my best harry hill voice............... FIIIIIIIGGHT!

[Vik54]

Just ask them to bring back the success of marriage thread and you will see that everything you say is futile! Isn't that right Vik?

 

 

is in the green room

[bounty78]

[nixy]

I actually agree with most of them myself despite it being OLD!

[Ebized]

Just had to refer back to this - and I was right