Husky Posted December 10, 2009 Author Share Posted December 10, 2009 9. Dangerous driving in the snow on the car park is unacceptable. You are not a rally driver. thats the first thing i go and do i don't leave early just to have it to myself, honest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookiemonster Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I chuckled at that aswell. There was four of us last year, made our own drift track.... so much fun. Got the zed this year so not sure i would dare Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nixy Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Boys! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarmac@TarmacSportz Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 I chuckled at that aswell. There was four of us last year, made our own drift track.... so much fun. Got the zed this year so not sure i would dare We just use the forklift at work - its ace fun.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vik54 Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Excellent thread - maybe even dragged me out of BAH HUMBUG mode - though it will take a lot this year Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Husky Posted December 10, 2009 Author Share Posted December 10, 2009 I chuckled at that aswell. There was four of us last year, made our own drift track.... so much fun. Got the zed this year so not sure i would dare Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vik54 Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gunmetalzgt Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Some great ones here!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stanski Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Some crackers there but also some recycled jokes sure I read at least 10 years ago!! Oldies but goodies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maccaman Posted December 10, 2009 Share Posted December 10, 2009 Cheers everyone, you've put a great big grin on my face Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nixy Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Some crackers there but also some recycled jokes sure I read at least 10 years ago!!Oldies but goodies Thats the problem with seasonal jokes! Although maybe some of the *ahem...* younger viewers won't have seen them......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarnie Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 How quickly can we get this to 60 pages? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nixy Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 seasonal jokes only though Sardine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarnie Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I'm just going to post loads of at every joke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris`I Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I'm just going to post loads of at every joke Would you like a for Christmas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarnie Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I'm just going to post loads of at every joke Would you like a for Christmas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris`I Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I see you're working very hard today mate (just like me! ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarnie Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I see you're working very hard today mate (just like me! ) Mrs is back at 1pm, better wash up, get Louie fed and get MW2 turned off soon, then I'll do some work Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cookiemonster Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I see you're working very hard today mate (just like me! ) Mrs is back at 1pm, better wash up, get Louie fed and get MW2 turned off soon, then I'll do some work Dont go to crazy mate its Friday Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris`I Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I see you're working very hard today mate (just like me! ) Mrs is back at 1pm, better wash up, get Louie fed and get MW2 turned off soon, then I'll do some work Dont go to crazy mate its Friday The thing is when she gets back, he'll say hes had a really hard morning and calling it a day early as its Friday Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PKAT Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 A Christmas Story for people having a bad day: When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered. Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?' And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Husky Posted December 11, 2009 Author Share Posted December 11, 2009 the xmas slow down started weeks ago Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vik54 Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stops after the third 'Ho' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nixy Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 Cat's Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the house Not a creature was stirring, Not even a mouse. 'Cuzz the cat had pounced on him And tore him apart - Ate his mouse intestines And chewed up his heart. Kitty thought she heard sleighbells, Which made her take pause - She stopped daintily licking The blood from her claws. "Must be Santa," thought Kitty (That quite clever cat) 'Cuz nobody else climbs down The chimney like that. Indeed it was ol' Santa So jolly and fat With a huge load of presents And all for the cat! "Wow, the best Christmas ever!" Kitty thought with a purr, Then she coughed up a hairball And shed some more fur! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nixy Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 Christmas Knickers Billy wanted to purchase a Christmas gift for his new sweetheart. They had not been going out together for very long. So, after careful consideration, he decided that a pair of gloves would most appropriate; romantic but not too personal. He then engaged the help of his sweetheart's younger sister to assist him in choosing an appropriate item; and off they went shopping together. Billy eventually bought a pair of very stylish winter gloves in pale pink and the sister took the opportunity of buying herself a pair of panties from the same store. However, during the wrapping process, the shop assistant mixed up the two items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without thinking to check the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note : 'I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with buttons down the side, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I asked her to try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I could be there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away, as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year! All my love. Billy' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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