Cara Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 A man wakes up in hospital , bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up a month ago on the M8. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but...... something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the crash, and we were unable to find it.' The man groans, but the doctor goes on, 'You've got £9000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap.. It's £1000 an inch.' The man perks up at this. 'So,' the doctor says, 'it's for you to decide how many inches you want'. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.' The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day. 'So,' says the doctor, 'have you spoken with your wife?' 'I have,' says the man. 'And has she helped you in making the decision?' 'She has,' says the man. 'And what is it?' asks the doctor. 'We're getting a new kitchen.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJsickboy Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jim Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markie Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zazur Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tmJak Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nixy Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JT1703 Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trev-the-Rev Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunset350z Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarnie Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 How many blokes were saying in their head 'blow the ****ing lot' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin W Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 How many blokes were saying in their head 'blow the ****ing lot' why? are you under 9 then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarnie Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 How many blokes were saying in their head 'blow the ****ing lot' why? are you under 9 then? It was a question to everyone else I was thinking 'my mrs would be distraught with only 9' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin W Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 How many blokes were saying in their head 'blow the ****ing lot' why? are you under 9 then? It was a question to everyone else I was thinking 'my mrs would be distraught with only 4.5' thats ok mate don't think we should advertise a problem!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H5 Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 (at the joke!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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