Jay Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Just a few jokes u guys have prob heard them b4 but i found them pretty funny. A suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, 'you've all got 30 seconds to get out!' The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, 'you cu*t !' Why are women like clouds? eventually they fu*k off and its a really nice day A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says; 'Fu*k off, you won't bring it back.' Quote
Jay Posted July 18, 2008 Author Posted July 18, 2008 LOL am headin to the gym in an hour after i have my rice then seeing the mrs tonight! Wat u doin lexx Quote
Trev-the-Rev Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 You're going to get flamed for the second one though Quote
Sarnie Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Just a few jokes u guys have prob heard them b4 but i found them pretty funny. A suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, 'you've all got 30 seconds to get out!' The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, 'you cu*t !' Why are women like clouds? eventually they fu*k off and its a really nice day A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says; 'Fu*k off, you won't bring it back.' Quote
nixy Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 You're going to get flamed for the second one though mm, I was wondering how there could possibly be a 'Mrs Jay'! Quote
Jay Posted July 18, 2008 Author Posted July 18, 2008 You're going to get flamed for the second one though mm, I was wondering how there could possibly be a 'Mrs Jay'! Cause i am a gentleman really Quote
Zummertor Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 You're going to get flamed for the second one though mm, I was wondering how there could possibly be a 'Mrs Jay'! Cause i am a gentleman really Or she doesn't read your posts or all your thoughts just as well for all of us on the last point Quote
ARphotographs Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 You're going to get flamed for the second one though mm, I was wondering how there could possibly be a 'Mrs Jay'! You should see her either its 14" long and 10" in diameter, or he pays her! and Jay would you like to enlighten us on how you found these jokes?? i believe the same way you found out the, If someone has sex with a prostitute and she does not consent, is that rape or shop lifting? here the rest of the good uns I keep having my profile on that dating website 'Match.com' rejected. One of the questions is, 'What do you want in a woman?'. Apparently 'my dick' is not an acceptable answer. ------------------------------------------------------------------ A suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, 'you've all got 30 seconds to get out!' The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, 'you cu*t !' ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why are women like clouds? eventually they fu*k off and its a really nice day ------------------------------------------------------------------ What's the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on. ------------------------------------------------------------------- A man walks into a petrol station and says, 'Can I please have a KitKat Chunky?' The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him. 'No,' says the man, 'I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat bitch.' -------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood. We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big fu*king big red mark on her forehead. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I was at an ATM money machine when an old lady came up and asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Zebo, a half blind five year old south african orphan, has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Give just a small donation of 2 dollars and we'll send you the video, it's fu*king hilarious.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I had a dog named minton who had an unfortunate habit of eating shuttlecocks. Bad minton. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Two men are in a pub. One says to his mate 'My mother-in-law is an angel'. The reply from his friend...... 'You're so fu*king lucky... Mine's still alive...' ----------------------------------------------------------------------- A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says; 'Fu*k off, you won't bring it back.' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 2 Men in a pub and one is riding a Bucking Bronco Machine. He lasts over 10 minutes. 'Geeeeez mate, that was impressive!' 'I get lots of practice' Replied the other guy. 'My Wifes an epileptic' Quote
Jay Posted July 19, 2008 Author Posted July 19, 2008 You're going to get flamed for the second one though mm, I was wondering how there could possibly be a 'Mrs Jay'! You should see her either its 14" long and 10" in diameter, or he pays her! and Jay would you like to enlighten us on how you found these jokes?? i believe the same way you found out the, If someone has sex with a prostitute and she does not consent, is that rape or shop lifting? here the rest of the good uns I keep having my profile on that dating website 'Match.com' rejected. One of the questions is, 'What do you want in a woman?'. Apparently 'my dick' is not an acceptable answer. ------------------------------------------------------------------ A suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, 'you've all got 30 seconds to get out!' The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, 'you cu*t !' ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why are women like clouds? eventually they fu*k off and its a really nice day ------------------------------------------------------------------ What's the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on. ------------------------------------------------------------------- A man walks into a petrol station and says, 'Can I please have a KitKat Chunky?' The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him. 'No,' says the man, 'I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat bitch.' -------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood. We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big fu*king big red mark on her forehead. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I was at an ATM money machine when an old lady came up and asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Zebo, a half blind five year old south african orphan, has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Give just a small donation of 2 dollars and we'll send you the video, it's fu*king hilarious.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I had a dog named minton who had an unfortunate habit of eating shuttlecocks. Bad minton. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Two men are in a pub. One says to his mate 'My mother-in-law is an angel'. The reply from his friend...... 'You're so fu*king lucky... Mine's still alive...' ----------------------------------------------------------------------- A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says; 'Fu*k off, you won't bring it back.' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 2 Men in a pub and one is riding a Bucking Bronco Machine. He lasts over 10 minutes. 'Geeeeez mate, that was impressive!' 'I get lots of practice' Replied the other guy. 'My Wifes an epileptic' I dnt have a prob tellin peeps u hooked me up with these jokes lol Btw i kno laura is hot haha! GOOD TIMES! But am only 12 inches lol Quote
Stew Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 You're going to get flamed for the second one though mm, I was wondering how there could possibly be a 'Mrs Jay'! You should see her either its 14" long and 10" in diameter, or he pays her! and Jay would you like to enlighten us on how you found these jokes?? i believe the same way you found out the, If someone has sex with a prostitute and she does not consent, is that rape or shop lifting? here the rest of the good uns I keep having my profile on that dating website 'Match.com' rejected. One of the questions is, 'What do you want in a woman?'. Apparently 'my dick' is not an acceptable answer. ------------------------------------------------------------------ A suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, 'you've all got 30 seconds to get out!' The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, 'you cu*t !' ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why are women like clouds? eventually they fu*k off and its a really nice day ------------------------------------------------------------------ What's the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on. ------------------------------------------------------------------- A man walks into a petrol station and says, 'Can I please have a KitKat Chunky?' The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him. 'No,' says the man, 'I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat bitch.' -------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood. We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I am in a bad mood, it leaves a big fu*king big red mark on her forehead. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I was at an ATM money machine when an old lady came up and asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Zebo, a half blind five year old south african orphan, has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Give just a small donation of 2 dollars and we'll send you the video, it's fu*king hilarious.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I had a dog named minton who had an unfortunate habit of eating shuttlecocks. Bad minton. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Two men are in a pub. One says to his mate 'My mother-in-law is an angel'. The reply from his friend...... 'You're so fu*king lucky... Mine's still alive...' ----------------------------------------------------------------------- A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says; 'Fu*k off, you won't bring it back.' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 2 Men in a pub and one is riding a Bucking Bronco Machine. He lasts over 10 minutes. 'Geeeeez mate, that was impressive!' 'I get lots of practice' Replied the other guy. 'My Wifes an epileptic' I dnt have a prob tellin peeps u hooked me up with these jokes lol Btw i kno laura is hot haha! GOOD TIMES! But am only 12 inches lol That's 12 inches is really short. Surprised you can drive the zed only being that height! Quote
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