Ekona

No chance. He's talking out of his arse and making up stuff to sell column inches. So in the last week the three best racing drivers have all rocked up at McLaren and signed up? Really? It's horsesh*t, pure and simple. Hey guys, guess what? I've heard from various sources that Max Chilton had dinner with Marco Mattiacci last week, and is going to be driving the Ferrari next year instead of Kimi. Also, Sutil was giving Lewis a quick handjob under the table to the side of them to apologise for the fight incident. It's true, I've had that from very good inside sources. See, anyone can make this crap up.

It's got some great reviews, but I don't like the sound of the random Alien encounters so I'm giving it a miss. No good then?

Noooo, use the Darwin fish!

Yup, J666 COD as well.

Car or dog pug? Dog, although he has just sold a 306 which I guess could've been called Doug as well.

My mate Sam has a pug called Doug

And then PP put your account into negative, and chase you into the courts for the money. Tbh, just don't use Gumtree.

Makes his winky look huge though, so secretly I bet he's chuffed.

Mine's on retention right now. I might put it on the MR2 soon if I don't pick a car up before next year.

I disagree with that proposal. Perhaps in a wet race where the cars are on inters or full wets, but on a regular dry race there should be no need for it. A much better idea (and one that F1 should be happy to go with, given it's love of technology) is enforcing a speed limit through that section. Not just lifting off, or slowing down a bit, but a full-on speed limit done the same way as a pit limiter. Push button when entering double yellow zone, drop speed to 70mph, push button when entering green zone and away you go. No costly safety car, no risk either.

PS controllers are awful, although the PS4 one is better. I'm still a huge fan of the 360/Xbone pads though, they're just feel more 'right'. I use the 360 one on my PC.

Bloody northerners

Oil... *shudders* Horrible stuff.

How the hell do you play SoM with m&k??!! That must be awkward as hell.

Just found it myself, the key line is: • Items that require servicing and subject to wear and tear are not covered under this warranty. As such, I would suspect that you may have a fight on that, depending on what it actually is.

You don't need a diagnostic fee for either of those, they're not connected to the OBD2 system. Boot hatch should definitely be covered, the suspension one may not be. Do you have the exact wording of what the warranty covers?

I played the latter on Xbone, but I don't think that's the problem. You using a pad or m&k?

Dude, it was p*ss awful. Dreadful controls, dull story, poor acting etc. MP1 was the pinnacle of that series.

Repair it, 100%. And I say that as a plumber who is looking to move at the moment.

It's just so incredibly frustrating. The combat doesn't flow, and I'm 50% of the way through the main story and I'm still not very powerful at all. It takes forever to kill even the most basic of orc. Also, the story is a bit crap. And they didn't get Andy Serkis to voice Gollum.

He does, he really does!

Still playing Shadows Of Mordor, but only because I paid good money for it. I'm not enjoying it. The single downside to buying downloads only is this. I've only ever traded in one game before because I hated it, and that was Max Payne 3, but this would've gone straight back if it were on disc.

0-60 is meaningless as a point of measuring, as you either need launch control or a hatred of your clutch to achieve it. 30-100 is a far more usable method.

Christ, that Pacu has got better gnashers than me!

Where's the cat?