Gareth, I know we haven't known each other for long but I'm a good judge of character and its clear that you are an amazing, funny, interesting and passionate person that's had to deal with some real shitty times and still kept going strong. I know it's horrible when you get into a situation like this, you feel suffocated, lose sight of who you are, resent the other person, shut yourself down, stop doing the things you love for fear of upsetting the other person. You know I've been there and it's not a good place to be! Lots of support on here for you and the clearest piece of advise is that something has to be done, but I can't tell you which way to go....only YOU can make that decision x