I've been where you are mate. I was in a 16 year relationsship from the age of 15....... We got married after 9 years. Bothe had good jobs and great house , cars etc but we drifted apart ( well from my point of view). She had very little interest in my hobbies and the same could be said about me and hers. It's not that we argues but that was probably down to my laid back nature. Like you I was made to feel bad for doing things that I wanted to do like work on cars or go to shows. I drifted away from all my school friends( and not sideways in a car cause that would be cool ! lol ) I was made to feel bad when I wanted to do something seperatly etc.
My problem was I bottled all my feelings up and after a few years I eventually just sat her down and told her I was leaving. It was literally a spur of the moment decision and to this day I have no idea why I picked that moment to tell her.
I wish I had handled things differently as it devastated her. I know in my heart it needed to be done but it was the hardest thing I've ever went threw.
I'm on the other side of it now and I have no regrets, I'm happy and have the life I think I deserve with a great girl who understands how things should be. We basically set out he ground rules at the start agreeing that we need to be open with each other and not be guilt tripping each other about any decisions. If we have a problem we would talk about it. To this day I don't think there has been any !!
Good luck with whichever way you decide to go my friend. It's not easy making the rights choice. But I'm my opinion it's harder to live with the wrong choice
Paul