twobears

I don't watch Top Gear any more He seems to call the car Chevy Chase if that helps? He didn't think he could call it Tom Cruze.

Is it yellow with a cheeky look in its eye? Could be Ethel on her hols down in Dorset

He just lets me get on with it to be honest. I think it amuses him to see me poring over the car reviews every Sunday and dreaming about what I can get next. I've loved cars since I was a little girl and coveted a Scimitar He just doesn't get any thrill out of driving. I think he quite likes Stanley when I let him have a go but he always had 4x4s until we moved away from Yorkshire. As he says, he likes to trundle along so I think he's looking at a Defender for when he comes home to live permanently. We've got a couple of very old SWB ones on the drive but he wants a newer one I think. The Chevy is just to get him to the airport and back and it will spend most of its time parked in the long stay car park so I guess it will do its job ok. What's mystifying me is just how much he seems to like it

I keep on top of rat control with poison and my air rifle (which I wave in the general direction of my feed bins ) but I can see that rats would be a cause for complaint in your circumstances Next door gets rats too sometimes as we both have horses but we are both in agreement on that problem i.e. rats cannot be tolerated.

A Chevrolet Cruze It's 3 years old, in pristine condition and only had 7.5K on the clock. It's an automatic, which he wanted, and so bland and faceless that I am going to wonder who the hell is parked on my drive every time he comes home in it. He seems pretty enamoured though and he's planning a trip to "Old Gits R Us" to buy a tartan travel rug and matching thermos, allegedly. Each to their own Coldel, wash your mouth out

That's a beautiful chicken isn't it? Ethel is just plain yellow.

Um, yes, quite impressive Think we need a subject change now

Mr Twobears just bought himself a second hand car and he's thrilled with the bland anonymity of it. Keeps sending me photos of it parked in front of the garage and telling me how pleased he is with the sheer boringness of it

yep, a picture or its all not true. there is no chicken, there is no z. its all lies. Half right. There is no Z, or at least not for me any longer I need to charge my camera batteries to get a good pic of Ethel. Will do my best later. That is quite a disturbing photo of your co** WinkJ

I've never had that reaction from a man

You are right. There is definitely chicken seduction going on but my neighbour is not always logical it has to be said. I suppose you could say she's eccentric? She does get into repetitive cycles of behaviour and all her friends have noticed it but there's nothing we can do to convince her to change her ways, even if she is doing things that make her unhappy. I know it sounds odd but you'd have to meet her to understand her thought processes. When she's on form she's a good laugh but she does get bees in her bonnet (chickens in her chapeau?) sometimes. She never liked Mr Zedley, for instance, and her whole dislike seemed to be based on the fact that he had leather seats

re the chest thing - it was the instructor who said that boobs (his word) were getting in the way. He made me hold the gun upside down and it went much further back onto my chest than when it was the right way round so I think he has a point Anyway, I am going to try and put today's poor performance out of my mind and concentrate on my next outing. When I was at Bisley the instructor said that he had taught me as much in one lesson as he normally taught people in 3 or 4 so I keep clinging on to that to give me hope!

Many thanks Rabbitstew for all the good advice again I worry that I am rushing into buying a gun but I am keen to get something that feels like it fits me like I said. Today's gun was just too uncomfortable and I started to wonder why I was bothering even being there Because I'm a woman I can't get the stock to lie flat against my chest so it will be interesting to see if getting the stock altered slightly at the toe helps with that. I am cranking the gun round to try to get it to lie flat but, obviously, that isn't helping my shooting at all. I also have very high cheekbones, even for a woman so none of the guns I've tried have ever been right without comb raisers and that's why I wondered about the adjustable stock. If I could take a gun "home" (with instructor's help in the gun shop) that would help a lot to determine if it was the right gun I'm sure. Gun shop will only order in the Silver Pig with adjustable stock if I agree to buy it though because they don't want it as a stock item, not surprisingly. Wish I could get one second hand but it seems unlikely. Will remember to haggle so thanks for that tip too

She can go for days without going into the neighbour's garden, fortunately or unfortunately, so I haven't got the time to watch her I'm afraid. I've no idea if you could fit a camera to her but it would be really interesting I think. My brother's friend is a biology professor who used to track Natterjack toads and years ago my brother spent days designing a tiny transmitter that they had to get the frogs to carry. I think they used to make the frogs swallow them? Not suggesting get Ethel to swallow a camera but maybe there is a little lightweight thing I could fit to a harness somehow?

OMG, just when you thought it couldn't get any worse ... it does

Paxo? Groan

Surely Payco's well of chicken related puns has to run dry at some point soon....please

She's not lonely because her son lives with her and she goes to her mother's up in the village every day and she knows more people than I do round here since she's lived here for at least 30 years. She is only in her 60s so not a frail old lady. She just loves moaning that's all. We share a dog walker and she does a wicked impression of my neighbour's whining voice Truth is, I actually like her a lot. She says what she thinks and so do I so we normally get on fine but I just can't get her out of the chicken obsession thing it seems If she hadn't started feeding Ethel I don't think she'd have had any reason to go into her garden but I can't seem to get that across to her

Thanks

Er, your friends sound delightful Dan but I'd rather you didn't introduce me to them

Thanks Whacky I will bookmark that page. I'm determined to get a new gun but my daughter, who has been shooting for longer than me, wants a gun too and I have agreed to a second hand one if we can find something suitable. Currently she is using a Lanber sporter and I think these are no longer manufactured.

Turkish delight eh? I'd never have thought about that

Thanks Whacky. I jumped straight to the Beretta bit and it gets a great review for a budget gun. I'm not in the market for a Purdey but I think an 'entry level' Beretta would be a good starting point.

Ha ha Ricey, you must know her Yes, she is old, retired and I think she is probably bored but she's not really bonkers. She does love to complain and she moans about everything under the sun, not just Ethel's misadventures. I actually get on with her very well but someone once told me that she reminded them of a mosquito because she made a constant whining noise She loves animals (her late husband was a vet) and, like me, she takes in waifs and strays if no-one else wants them so I'm pretty sure Ethel's plumage won't go towards making the neighbour a fascinator!

Before Payco jumps in, no, it's not for shooting either Ethel or my neighbour I'm having regular clay shooting lessons but am having huge problems with consistency. When I am good I am very, very good (well ok, I'm distinctly average ) but when I am bad (like today) my shooting is horrid. Every time I go to the range I am given a different gun and today's just didn't fit me. All I could see was the rib because I didn't have a comb raiser on. I should have said something but I blamed myself, as you do and it was only at the very end where I asked for a comb raiser and blasted the last two clays out of the air that I realised I had wasted my £90 Must be more assertive next time So my question is, how soon should I think about getting myself a gun and would an adjustable stock be a good idea? I am thinking about getting a 20 bore Beretta Silver Pigeon because that has been my favourite gun so far for fit and I definitely shot best with that one. Today's 12 bore was just too heavy for me and the stock was uncomfortable too because I'm female but I think that can be easily remedied by a gunsmith? My shooting instructor will be coming to the gun shop with me but he's away for a couple of weeks and I am trying to work out how much I need to spend on a gun to see if I can afford the adjustable stock one if that is, indeed, the best choice for me. I'm also wondering if my instructor looks after the gun for me (my license hasn't been granted yet) if he could bring it to the range every week for me to use? I'm sure he'd be happy to do that as he is very helpful.