Letter from octet & Wasso to aunty Gloria from USA

[Adrian@TORQEN]

RE: An 84-year-old woman who bought her Powerball ticket after another customer let her get ahead in line came forward Wednesday to claim the $590 million jackpot, becoming the largest sole lottery winner in the history of American lotteries. The woman, Gloria C. Mackenzie of Zephyrhills, took a lump sum payment of just over $370 million, Florida Lottery officials said. After paying 25 percent for federal income taxes, she is taking home about $270 million, officials said.

 

 

Dear Aunty Gloria (that's her name), you don't know me, but I do know you. I'm your far, far, faaar away Eastern European nephew. I was going to get in contact with you last month, but I was busy with the Wales 2013 meet.

 

I hope you are very well! How are you, anyway?

 

Listen, I hate to do this, but me and my buddy Ian, also known as Wasso the Polishing Guy desperately need some help.

 

We were recently been diagnosed with a very rare and incurable form of Obsessive Buying Disorder and we were going to try a very pioneering form of treatment that may have good results, it's still in the lab, but we volunteered to try it.

 

It's a unorthodox alternative method, but with no major risks of complications and it involves spending a final lump sum of money, each on one thing: a ultimate BBK made by Greddy for me and a LSA engine+gearbox for my buddy Wasso.

 

Can you please help at all? We only need about $6.000 for my brakes and $25.000 for Wasso's LSA project. Make it $30.000 and we can source the remaining amount from close family here in the UK, do not worry too much about that!

 

I hate to do this since I don't know you very well, but I promised I will stay away and never contact you again, unless you want me to. Like buying my GTR 2013 version or something.

 

I also promise it's nothing to do with your recently won prize, the biggest in the entire USA lottery history.

 

P.S.

If you get a simillar letter from a green looking fellow called Keyser, please disregard it, he is not related to you at all, in fact, he's not even Eastern European, you know?

 

Yours sincerely,

Adrian

[Flex]

I think you need more than just financial help my friend

[Humpy]

Think you need a job that actually keeps you busy Adrian

[Adrian@TORQEN]

Think you need a job that actually keeps you busy Adrian

 

Why? I have two that don't keep me busy and make nearly enough money!

[GT4 Zed]

Dear Octet and Wasso,

Thanks for your letter. Now y'all listen very carefully;

I don't know ya!

I don't have no f&@king relatives from Europe or anyway else!

My Jeb(late husband.......sobs) and I tried for many years and never had kids and since both of us where adopted we have only had ourselves as family and failed to trace anyone. We he passed on no one came forwards despite all attempts.

So I don't give a flying f£&k to whatever disease y'all may have contracted ............,Infact it sounds like some gay condition......or some crackhead bullshit!

And finally y'all should get proper jobs and all and not try to rob an old woman.

Stop smoking that @*!# and if y'all attempt to write or contact me again I'll bust a cap in yo arses............ Yeah you heard me right!! Don't mean because I am old I can't take care of biness!!! Jed, bless his soul, he taught me how to shoot and left me his 22(...Rants...............!!!!

Eastern European my arse! He'll no!!!!! i'll whoop yo arses if I catch y'all!!!

 

Gloria Mackenzie

 

PS: to y'all thinking to do this @*!#; be it Irish Scottish and hell!! even green people from Kansas or Keyser, don't do this @*!# 'cos yo momma don't be proud of ya! Holla!

Peace out. Gloria baby!

Edited June 6, 2013 by GT4 Zed

[Adrian@TORQEN]

 

Epic!!

[The Bounty Bar Kid]

[Wasso]

Ha ha had a propper laugh to that!! Nice one Bennetto!!