Zummertor Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 Thought I'd take the quality of jokes up market a bit and introduce some masters as we've introduced the concepts of paint with the "paint can" and the art gallery. A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas. to make the Van Gogh" Do you have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else. I posted it because I figured I had nothing Toulouse Quote
monkfish Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 .....and the faint sound of crickets in the distance.............. Quote
martinmac Posted February 4, 2008 Posted February 4, 2008 Somerset Farmers' Computer Terminology Modem = What you did to the fields Keyboard = Where you hang your keys Windows = What you shut when its cold Log on = Making the wood stove hotter Log off = Don't add any more wood Hard Drive = Getting home during wet weather Microchips = What are left in the bag when the big chips are gone Downloads = Getting the wood off the tractor Megahertz = What you get when your not careful downloading Floppy disc = What you get lifting too much firewood at once Chip = A bar snack Modem = What you did to the lawns Dot Matrix = Old Dan Matrix's wife Laptop = Where the cat sleeps Mouse = What eats the grain in the shed Web = What spiders make Cursor = The old bloke that swears a lot Upgrade = A steep hill Network = When you have to repair your fishing net Online = When you get the laundry hung out Off line = When the pegs don't hold the washing up Just to even things up Jay Quote
Zummertor Posted February 4, 2008 Author Posted February 4, 2008 Somerset Farmers' Computer Terminology Modem = What you did to the fields Keyboard = Where you hang your keys Windows = What you shut when its cold Log on = Making the wood stove hotter Log off = Don't add any more wood Hard Drive = Getting home during wet weather Microchips = What are left in the bag when the big chips are gone Downloads = Getting the wood off the tractor Megahertz = What you get when your not careful downloading Floppy disc = What you get lifting too much firewood at once Chip = A bar snack Modem = What you did to the lawns Dot Matrix = Old Dan Matrix's wife Laptop = Where the cat sleeps Mouse = What eats the grain in the shed Web = What spiders make Cursor = The old bloke that swears a lot Upgrade = A steep hill Network = When you have to repair your fishing net Online = When you get the laundry hung out Off line = When the pegs don't hold the washing up Just to even things up Jay Spot on, but can't see why its posted in Jokes though Quote
H5 Posted February 5, 2008 Posted February 5, 2008 Some relatives will get some stick with that list!! Quote
martinmac Posted February 5, 2008 Posted February 5, 2008 I am a Scouser with Scottish dad, yorky mother and live in Cumbria so pretty easy to return fire Quote
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