glrnet Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 I went to the pet shop today and asked for a wasp. The shopkeeper replied 'We don't sell wasps.' I said 'Well there's one in the window.' Quote
spursmaddave Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 The Queen asks Charles why he is wearing a Deer Stalker in the middle of Winter.... Well Mother says Charles, you told me too, I said I was opening a Hospital in Dorking, and you said "Dorking? wear the fox hat" Quote
DoogyRev Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 The Chuckle Brothers quotes aren't at all catchy to me ... to you? Quote
DoogyRev Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 What do you call a girl who sets fire to her credit card statements? ........... Bernadette Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Did you hear about the blind circumcisionist? He got the sack. Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Did you hear about the blind man who went bungee jumping? He loved it, but it scared the hell out of his dog Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer’s patients? They hid their own eggs! Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He decided to stick it out for one more year! Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Did you hear about the girl who’s a dyslexic bulimic? She eats, and then she sticks her finger up her ass. Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He’s all right now. Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Did you hear about the new “divorced†Barbie doll in stores now? It comes with all of Ken’s stuff. Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Did you hear about the new “morning after†pill for men? It works by changing your blood type! Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Did you hear about the two gay guys that had an argument in the bar? They went outside to exchange blows. Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman. Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 (edited) How are fat girls and mopeds alike? They are fun to ride but you don’t want your friends to find out. Edited October 31, 2012 by rtbiscuit Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 How are women and tornadoes alike? They both moan when they come, and take the house when they leave. Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 How can you tell you’re in a tough lesbian bar? Even the pool table has no balls. Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? It’s not hard Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 How do you know when your wife is really dead? Your sex life is the same but your washing pile gets bigger. Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it. Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count? If the girl has to chew, before she swallows Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 How is being at a singles bar different than being at the circus? At the circus, the clowns don’t talk. Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was “Alwaysâ€. Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Gagged Quote
rtbiscuit Posted October 31, 2012 Posted October 31, 2012 What did one sagging tit say the other? If we don’t get some support soon, people will think we’re nuts! Quote
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