The Truth according to God.

[Arkwright]

Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven , God went missing for six days.

 

 

 

Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting.

 

 

 

He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?'

 

God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?'

 

 

'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.'

 

 

'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.

 

God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth.

 

 

'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.'

 

God continued, pointing to the different countries.

 

This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'

 

The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?'

 

'Ah,' said God. That's the North of England, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, seven Premiership football teams in the North West alone, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.'

 

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'

 

 

 

 

God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South!'

[ATTAK Z]

According to most people on here, any place south of Berwick is 'down south'

so that makes you and me both members of the southern tossers I'm afraid

[Cragus]

Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven , God went missing for six days.

 

 

 

Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting.

 

 

 

He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?'

 

God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?'

 

 

'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.'

 

 

'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.

 

God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth.

 

 

'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.'

 

God continued, pointing to the different countries.

 

This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'

 

The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of land and asked, 'What's that?'

 

'Ah,' said God. That's Scotland the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the Scotland are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.'

 

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'

 

 

 

 

God replied very wisely, 'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South!'

 

[ATTAK Z]

Told you

[Cragus]

Notice I took the bit about football out though!

[rtbiscuit]

 

'Ah,' said God. That's Scotland the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful people, many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the Scotland are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.'

 

 

i'm sorry but giving all that to northerners is like giving man a huge penis, but not enough blood to get it up.

 

looks impressive, but is completely useless, and only good for pi$$ing

[ATTAK Z]

Southerners have large penae

 

[rtbiscuit]

Southerners have large penae

 

 

my middle name is "tripod" if you really want i can pm you a picture

[ATTAK Z]

Southerners have large penae

 

 

my middle name is "tripod" if you really want i can pm you a picture

I get it ... Rich 'TRIPOD' Biscuit

be brave man ... put it on here with a warning for the faint hearted

[rtbiscuit]

here i am the last time i got my c0ck out

 

 

its very large and i had to dangle it with a rope to hold it up so people could see.

 

 

 

 

 

i'm wearing a bike helmet for anonymity

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Cragus]

here i am the last time i got my c0ck out

 

 

its very large and i had to dangle it with a rope to hold it up so people could see.

 

 

 

 

 

i'm wearing a bike helmet for anonymity

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your standing like a bit of a fairy too i might add! Anyway, as I always say - it might be small but it goes like a sewing machine!

[rtbiscuit]

i still don't know how we got on to genital measuring, i never said people north or south have big tools, i just used the analogy to explain a point

[ATTAK Z]

i still don't know how we got on to genital measuring, i never said people north or south have big tools, i just used the analogy to explain a point

I know, I just couldn't resist