Possibly very over the top. 
  
I'll be watching this with interest, I lost my key the other day too. Luckily I have key insurance, so I can claim on that  
 
  
Well my other advice was B U R Y H E R U N D E R T H E P A T I O .  
  
Just kidding dude, hope you get it sorted. I think the stealers is your only option.