your best christmas cracker jokes

[ioneabee]

I'll start

 

What's black and white, and has a red nose?

 

 

Moo-dolf

[GMballistic]

 

 

 

 

Sorry I don't know of any "best Christmas cracker jokes" as they're all rubbish.

[spursmaddave]

My best Christmas cracker joke was about 20 years ago when my son was little, I photocopied a £50 note about 10 times and put it in his cracker

 

And yes I know it was technically counterfeiting and luckily he didn't call child line or I could have been in trouble.... was very funny though

[spursmaddave]

A few years back Paul McCartney bought his wife Heather a new artificial leg for Christmas.

 

It wasn’t her main present, it was just a stocking filler.

[spursmaddave]

I got my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas, he has been going on about wanting it for months, no idea what he wants with an ex-box though

[GMballistic]

A few years back Paul McCartney bought his wife Heather a new artificial leg for Christmas.

 

It wasn’t her main present, it was just a stocking filler.

I got my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas, he has been going on about wanting it for months, no idea what he wants with an ex-box though

Both of those are funnier than any joke I've ever had in a cracker.

 

 

Oh & the £50 gag, ...his face must have been a picture Dave. Brilliant.

[ioneabee]

My best Christmas cracker joke was about 20 years ago when my son was little, I photocopied a £50 note about 10 times and put it in his cracker

 

And yes I know it was technically counterfeiting and luckily he didn't call child line or I could have been in trouble.... was very funny though

How to really spoil someones christmas :lol:

Edited December 14, 2014 by ioneabee

[ioneabee]

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?

 

 

Santa Jaws

[spursmaddave]

We had baby wookie instead of turkey last year, it was very nice but a little chewy