M13KYF Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to >fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for >those >of us who fly routinely in our jobs. >After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe >sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The >mechanics >correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots >review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that >ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance >complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the >solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, >Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an >accident. > >P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. >S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. > >P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. >S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. > > >P: Something loose in cockpit. >S: Something tightened in cockpit. > > >P: Dead bugs on windshield. >S: Live bugs on back-order. >P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute >descent. >S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. > > >P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. > >S: Evidence removed. > > >P: DME volume unbelievably loud. >S: DME volume set to more believable level. > > >P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. >S: That's what friction locks are for. > >P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. >S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. > >P: Suspected crack in windshield. >S: Suspect you're right. > > >P: Number 3 engine missing. >S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. > > >P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) >S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. > > >P: Target radar hums. >S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. > > >P: Mouse in cockpit. >S: Cat installed. > > >And the best one for last.................. > >P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget > pounding on something with a hammer. >S: Took hammer away from midget. Quote
Trev-the-Rev Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 Absolutely brilliant - keep em coming. Quote
GrahamB Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 Just made me look like a right wally by bursting out laughing in the middle of the office! I was a particular fan of the "missing" engine. Quite superb.... post of the week! G Quote
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