StephenG Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I'm in Birmingham tonight, at King's Heath, doing a preview of my Edinburgh Show. Which is very funny. Come along and say hello . It's very cheap as well! Details >: http://www.cheekycomedy.co.uk/index.html Stephen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liam's Z Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I'm in Birmingham tonight, at King's Heath, doing a preview of my Edinburgh Show. Which is very funny. Come along and say hello . It's very cheap as well! Details >: http://www.cheekycomedy.co.uk/index.html Stephen Nice job mate Ever up in Liverpool or Manchester??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephenG Posted June 13, 2006 Author Share Posted June 13, 2006 sometimes... Nothing in the book at the moment though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liam's Z Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 sometimes... Nothing in the book at the moment though. Let me know mate Now tell me something funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liam's Z Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Here's one: Wayne Rooney has been told he can play in the World Cup if he gets a Cortisone Injection. ?? David Beckham responded, "If that fat tosser is having a new car, then so am I!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liam's Z Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Another: A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long Before I >> >can >> >get a >> >hair cut? >> > >> >The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About two >> >hours." >> >And the guy left. >> > >> >A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How >> >long before I can get a haircut?" >> > >> >The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About three hours." And > the guy left. >> > >> >A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How >> >long >> >before >> >I can get a haircut?" >> > >> >The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and half." >> >And >> >the >> >guy left. The barber turned to a friend and said, "Hey, Bill, do me a >> >favour. >> >Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has >> >to >> >wait >> >for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back." >> > >> >A little while later Bill returned to the shop laughing hysterically. >> >The barber asked, "So where does that guy go when he leaves?" >> > >> >Bill looked up, tears in his eyes and said, "Your house." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M13KYF Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lomoto Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Here's one: Wayne Rooney has been told he can play in the World Cup if he gets a Cortisone Injection. ?? David Beckham responded, "If that fat tosser is having a new car, then so am I!" Liam ...... whatever you do DONT give up your day job !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liam's Z Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 TAXI... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M13KYF Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 thats the funniest thing you've said Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
350Znismo Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 It is just before the England v Brazil match. Ronaldinho goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum. "What's up?" he asks. "Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only England. They're not very good and we can't be bothered". Ronaldinho looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat them by myself, you lads go down the pub." So Ronaldinho goes out to play England by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few jars. After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads Brazil 1, England 0. (Ronaldinho 10minutes)". He is beating England all by himself! Anyway, a few pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on. Result from the Stadium - Brazil 1 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes) - England 1 (Lampard 89 minutes)". They can't believe it - he has single handedly got a draw against England!! They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate Ronaldinho. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sitting with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down." "Don't be daft! You got a draw against England, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end!" "No, No, I have! I've let you down...........I got sent off after 12 minutes" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M13KYF Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
350Znismo Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Wayne Rooney is cleared to play in the World Cup as long as he has a cortizone injection. Everyone's excited apart from David Beckham who turns round and says 'If that fat f**er's getting a new car then so am I!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M13KYF Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 didn't you read the fifth post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lomoto Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Wayne Rooney is cleared to play in the World Cup as long as he has a cortizone injection. Everyone's excited apart from David Beckham who turns round and says 'If that fat f**er's getting a new car then so am I!' GROUND HOG DAY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
350Znismo Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Missed it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liam's Z Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Wayne Rooney is cleared to play in the World Cup as long as he has a cortizone injection. Everyone's excited apart from David Beckham who turns round and says 'If that fat f**er's getting a new car then so am I!' That's the funniest joke I've ever heard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephenG Posted June 14, 2006 Author Share Posted June 14, 2006 You see? Nobody needs to go out to enjoy themselves. You have budding professional comics here already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liam's Z Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches a woman sitting by herself: Man: "May I buy you a cocktail?" Lady: "No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs." Man: "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?" Lady: "No, they open!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lomoto Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches a woman sitting by herself: Man: "May I buy you a cocktail?" Lady: "No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs." Man: "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?" Lady: "No, they open!" Liam hasnt that Taxi got to you yet ?? and dont forget your coat Bye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikos Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 here's one for you. Wayne Rooney has been told he can play in the World Cup if he gets a Cortisone Injection. ?? David Beckham responded, "If that fat to$$er is having a new car, then so am I!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lomoto Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 here's one for you. Wayne Rooney has been told he can play in the World Cup if he gets a Cortisone Injection. ?? David Beckham responded, "If that fat to$$er is having a new car, then so am I!" You tell it a lot better nikos all in the delivery and timing Liam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liam's Z Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 here's one for you. Wayne Rooney has been told he can play in the World Cup if he gets a Cortisone Injection. ?? David Beckham responded, "If that fat to$$er is having a new car, then so am I!" You tell it a lot better nikos all in the delivery and timing Liam LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lomoto Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 here's one for you. Wayne Rooney has been told he can play in the World Cup if he gets a Cortisone Injection. ?? David Beckham responded, "If that fat to$$er is having a new car, then so am I!" You tell it a lot better nikos all in the delivery and timing Liam LOL its the way I tell ,em Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liam's Z Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 here's one for you. Wayne Rooney has been told he can play in the World Cup if he gets a Cortisone Injection. ?? David Beckham responded, "If that fat to$$er is having a new car, then so am I!" You tell it a lot better nikos all in the delivery and timing Liam LOL its the way I tell ,em Behave,,, double act - I make you look good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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