H5 Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 1 Zoe Lyons – "I can't believe Amy Winehouse self-harms. She's so irritating she must be able to find someone to do it for her." 2 Andrew Laurence – "Most of us have a skeleton in the cupboard. David Beckham takes his out in public." 3 Lloyd Langford – "My girlfriend said, 'Did you know that hippopotamuses kill more people every year than guns?'. 'Yes,' I said, 'but a gun is easier to conceal." 4 Josie Long – "When I was a kid, I asked my mum what a couple was and she said, 'Oh, two or three'. And she wonders why her marriage didn't work." 5 Tim Vine – "Velcro. What a rip-off." 6 Stephen Grant – "The Scots invented hypnosis, chloroform and the hypodermic syringe – wouldn't it be easier just to talk to a woman?" 7 Edward Aczel – "So far bird flu has only killed 47 people. By the time it ends, it's going to have killed 37 million. It's got to get going, hasn't it, if it's going to be the pandemic we've all been hoping for." 8 Joan Rivers – "Grandchildren can be f****** annoying. How many times can you go, 'And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink'? It's like talking to a supermodel." 9 Tom Stade – "I like Jesus but he loves me, so it's awkward." 10 Jeff Kreisler – "People were outraged because of Barack Obama's spiritual adviser. I think it's great he had one. Who was George Bush's spiritual adviser? Jim Beam? Johnnie Walker? Jack Daniels?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stew Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 Well done Stephan G! Still want you to come a little further north so I can come and see you! edit - where did the list come from???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H5 Posted August 26, 2008 Author Share Posted August 26, 2008 Sorry, list is from Scotsman.com from the Fringe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martinmac Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 :lol: Nice one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobD7 Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 He is a funny man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trev-the-Rev Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 Brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M13KYF Posted August 26, 2008 Share Posted August 26, 2008 tops Stephen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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